It finally happened. The residential board and care memory home, said they would not take him back after his last episode. He tried to pull his Foley cathader out AGAIN, and purposely splattered his blood all over the room. Then when the respite caregiver tried to calm him down he threw his walker at her and tried to hit her. Ambulance was called and they took him up to the hospital in psychiatric care. He has been there 4 days, had an evaluation, and now they are trying to find an available bed in a behavioural hospital. My question, what kind of hospital are they talking about? And, can I request a partial refund for the last half of the month from this home? He has been there since April 1st, and has only spent nor more than 2 weeks there. He was causing problems from the beginning saying he wanted to go home then he wanted to go back to Germany to live with his dad, (dad has been gone for over 30 years) then he thought someone was spying on him outside, chasing him. Last week he tgrew away all the plates and stuff when the head of the house was making dinner bc he thought she was poisoning everyone. He was also busting into the other 3 residents rooms in the middle of the night. I understand how frustrating and difficult this was, I tried to handle it here and he was worse! I just think some of the.episodes could have been handled differently. This whole thing has been stressful, and I think handled poorly. I saw him last night. I didn't stay long. He seems calmer, but confused. And very tired. He really didn't recognize. In and out but kept asking bizarre questions then drifting off. I left went down to the car and burst into tears. This has been horrible. Plus the.financial strain is killing me. I can make it. But it's hard with an old house, and plus, everything I go to try to make a budget, that home would call with another crisis. I pray this is going to end soon. As for the.home everything went to.that place and I feel a little ripped off. But if they kicked.him out am I in titled to get back a little money?
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You should see an attorney that specializes in Medicaid planning. There is a process called spousal impoverishment that will protect you from losing everything while your husband receives the care he needs. Yes, an attorney will cost some money but will be well spent. Check out a website AVVO to research attorneys in your area.
The owner-administrator (it never does seem to be a happy combination, judging by other people's posts, too) is blathering on saying the first thing that comes into her head. The decision about whether he was to be accepted back there wasn't the hospital's call, it was her board's, for one thing; so what is she whittering on about as far as expecting the hospital to keep her informed?
Um. A one-page contract? For a full-on Nursing Home? Blimey. Don't tell me, it's written in child's crayon…
Well. It sounds as if they bit off more than they could chew admitting him in the first place; which doesn't sound very professional; which would also mean he might have dodged a bullet not having to stay there any longer. I think there is probably little to be gained by pursuing a refund, beyond reclaiming any rent in advance that you've paid. I hope all those people who've been "making enquiries" know what they're getting for their money.
You poor girl. Well, again, seeing as your mother can't be there to help, perhaps you'd better develop a taste for kicking your own wotsits. Or at least giving people a little more of your mind. Be frank with those you know well and have nothing against, and let them know that you really do have enough on your plate without having to worry about whatever small-minded rumours might be doing the rounds. With the vet, just tell them bluntly that you've come to expect that they'll "squeeze Pusscat in to the morning surgery somehow, pretty please with sugar on it" as they always seem to have done in the past, seeing as she is such a very elderly patient of theirs. Add whatever emphases you see fit - but do bear in mind that it isn't impossible they really were just fully booked that day.
I am having some trouble with the thought that your neighbours could be so ignorant and unkind as to kick you when you're down - what, all of them? Surely not. Do some straight talking and hold your head up. Shame on them.
If you live in a smallish neighbourhood, a sudden change of attitude from people you've been dealing with for a long time would make me wonder if you've got a gossip-monger on your hands - someone who's been telling far-fetched tales about the reason for your husband going into memory care, that kind of thing. More likely that, I'd have thought, than all of these people, individually, being so insensitive to someone who's going through what you're having to cope with. Is that possible? Having said that, be careful not to get paranoid. You must be terribly terribly stressed out and exhausted, and it's all too easy to start reading negative meanings into situations wrongly.
Why are you paying his rent? Medicaid will pay for some facikities if Medicaid approved, which mant care homes are. If he does not have Medicaid, it is time to go through that process or it will break you.
It sounds like it might not be safe for your husband to stay where he was. It sounds like a psychiatric hospital might be able to offer him more supervision and treatment. Hopefully, some medication combination will help give him some peace.
As far as the care home is concerned they are the people who refused to take him back you may be able to get some kind of a refund. I totally understand why they refused to take him back they simply don't have staff or experience to deal with him. they also risk loosing their other clients too.
Your husband is a mess. Dangerous to himself and others. He is way under-medicated. Insist that doctors give him sedation or psychotropics to get him compliant. Don't doubt it for a minute: your husband was miserable before he went under psychiatric care.
As to getting a refund, read the admission application and see what provisions there are for this kind of situation. It'll be the governing document.
I hope you can find some peace with all the turmoil taking place now. It must be so frustrating and exasperating.