I'm feeling so sad and angry.

It's hard when you have no control over a situation where your heart is involved. It seems as though you really want to connect with your inlaws even though it's proving to be a pretty difficult endeavor. I think that's very caring and sweet of you. Have you tried writing them letters and sending care packages? Even if they can't write back at least they'll know you're thinking of them and are there if they need you. Is Skype or frequent phone calls a possibility? Unfortunately I believe everything needs to be on their terms and your hands are pretty much tied, but maybe you can find some windows in the wall they've built around themselves. I hope this helps in some way. Take care & good luck.

Everytime we have plans " something comes up". .. Ilness, " a broken hip" ( not really) , theives broke in and stole jewlry or whatever, he 's having an affair with a bunch of women from Walmart . Whatever. The one time we were able to see them we weren't allowed in the house, we had to sit at the clubhouse at their retirement neighborhood for 8 hours.

My mother does that quite a lot. We'll make plans to go to my brother's house, then she will say she isn't well. I've learned to never depend on going a certain place until we are on the road headed in that direction. I let my brother know, also, not to depend on us being there until they see us at the door.

Are you and hubby not able to go see them? Just asking to get a better idea of the situation. Does hubby have any siblings?

As they are your hubby's parents what is his take on the situation?