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Little75 Posted March 2016

I'm dealing with a hard week.

Everything reminds me of my mom especially with Easter coming. My mom was my best friend and even when she was sick I still could talk to her. I don't really have family or friends because all my time was focused on taking care of her. None of my family invited me for Easter so I'm alone again. Today is hard and I'm starting to wish I could just die. I'm having a hard time remembering why I should keep trying and I have no one to talk to.

Chari7 Mar 2016
Hi Little,
The previous two posts are full of some wonderful suggestions. When my mom passed away, the hardest thing for me was taking care of myself. So, pamper yourself with bubblebath, get a new haircut, put your makeup on everyday, things that will make you feel good.
My mom was in an ALF, and I grew very close to some of the other people who lived there as well as to the owners. On holidays, after mom died, I bought the biggest box of candy I could find and took it to the owner. He loved candy, so I gave him a choice of hiding it for himself or sharing. Then, I ate lunch and visited with the people there. That was a pleasant thing for me to do. I have gotten out of the habit and need to start it again.
You mentioned some family. Since they are family, call one of them and invite yourself for Easter. Be honest and tell them you are lonely, and I'm sure they would be glad to see you.
Just a couple more suggestions for you....hope they helped. My favorite thing to say to myself when I dread something is, "This too shall pass away." Just tell yourself a few more days that you can choose to do what you want, then Easter will be over. The pain never goes away, but it gets less intense. We will all be hoping you are doing something that pleases you on Easter!

97yroldmom Mar 2016
Hi Little
Maybe grief counseling would help. Hospice organizations and hospitals and churches offer it. Call around or look online for your local hospital etc. I've heard it's helpful. You might have to reintroduce yourself to your family. When a person has been out of circulation for awhile, regardless of the reason, others might not remember that you are alone now and could use a little company. Give them a call even if it's just to say hello. I thought Rainmom had some lovely suggestions. Pets can really provide a lot of company and make a great icebreaker on walks. Be sure to take care of your health. Make some appointments and get all the usual annual checkups scheduled. You might consider a therapist to help you sort out what you would like to do for this next stage of your life. One thing I know about depression is that with or without help, it generally lifts. But why wait? Make yourself a list and get started. Do some of the things your mom might would have enjoyed. Do it for her. Be gentle with yourself. You've been through a lot. Take a walk everyday. Eat healthy and go make sure you don't have any health issues getting you down.
Get dressed everyday. Put on some lipstick and get out of the house. You will feel better. You just need a little time.

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Rainmom Mar 2016
Hey Little75 - I'm sorry that you're feeling so down. Holidays make it extra hard when we are already missing our loved ones. Right now it may be hard to remember but you do matter and life is truely a gift. Maybe it would help if you could find something to care for again - someone or something to help look after. Have you ever considered doing some type of volunteer work? I know there are people currently in nursing homes who are lonely as well and would love to have someone to visit with on any day, let alone a holiday. How about an organization like Meals on Wheels, one that is so important in helping seniors? If that would be too difficult, make you think of your mother, there are animal shelters, children's hospitals and even places like botanical garden. Having a reason to get up in the morning, contact with other people are essential to everyone's good mental well-being. You are obviously a giving, caring soul - you showed in in how you cared for your mom and continue to show it in your grief and missing her. Put that giving, caring nature back into action - I'm sure there are lots of lonely people out there who would love to spend time talking with you. Please take care!

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