Please protect your loved ones money.

update-
i had my posts removed.
the family broke apart because of this.
heartbreak for me but I have to leave them behind.
my dad trusted me, begged me for help, but i was too polite and now he is dead.

Mica - did you check
the fine print of the life insurance policy? Sometimes there will be a clause regarding criminal activity towards the principal- but of course if there is anything like that you'd have to pursue charges. What a awful situation for you. You must be utterly heartbroken. At least I know from the start my one brother couldn't be trusted with my moms loose change!

JessieBelle - my brother who is my successor would likely line his own pocket. On a couple of occasions I've called the other brother to tell him I'm ready to be done and turn things over to successor brother. Non-successor brother will beg me not to do it saying "you know what will happen if you do". So I continue...(sigh).

My post should read: I CAN'T be bothered. Not "I can". Totally changes the point of the sentence.

mica, I don't know what I would do in your case. I would probably just say, "How could you do this to your father?" Then I would probably get someone to review the records and deduct it from any money she had coming from the estate. Then I would leave her to herself. I would have a hard time having family prosecuted, even if it was merited. Huge big hugs ((((Mica)))).

Rainmom, I think the difference is character. I had an older brother who is dead now. He would have robbed my parents blind if he had free rein on their money. The other two siblings and myself wouldn't consider taking anything. I would trust either brother completely with money. They probably also trust me. In a family we probably have an idea of who would and who wouldn't steal.

Cwillie- I'm like you with this - I could easily skim off a whole lot of money with no one being the wiser. My brothers only have an idea of what our mother is worth because I told them. A couple of months ago one brother asked to see moms will - even though I found it ghoulish I complied to keep the peace and even had my other brother over to do the pre-reading. At the time I was due to have major surgery and since the one brother is my successor I used the opportunity to inform them both -generally - where the money is and roughly how much. But the fact is at least half my moms money is in investments and her total worth can change several thousand from month to month. The thing is, I'm a really bad liar- whether it's my short attention span or sheer laziness, I can be bothered remembering what I've said - a necessary skill for an embezzler. And while I don't have a close relationship with my brothers I am oddly pleased by the fact they trust me enough to not be looking over my shoulder. So whether it's greed or a sense of entitlement- theft seems to be a common problem when one person is trusted to look after someone else's money. What turns a seemingly honest person into an embezzler but not others?

P.S. You never know exactly what you are made of and what you can do until it hits this close to home. You have an opportunity to change your sister's life around.

Mica, That is really sad, criminal, and scary. You have the proof, forgery, and a lawyer. What does your lawyer say about reporting this to the District Attorney or APS too? Can you live with the situation? Won't it eat away at you if you don't allow the criminal prosecution take over? Allow the consequences to lie where they will? Instead of an expensive civil suit, turn her in for identity theft, financial exploitation of an elder? This would make anyone ill, so sorry you have to deal. Wishing I knew someone who would know someone.
Our family had or knew a few bad apples, when the consequences came; and after a time; we were able to befriend and support her after jail. Made us all ill, stressed out, and very informed about the justice system.

Sorry, that TMI (too much information) just leaked out, as I was freaking out, but I am ashamed now. Was taught to not share finances which only makes one more vulnerable. Sorry.

OMG, as my mom's POA I could effortlessly waltz off with half of her money. Family has only a vague idea of what she is worth, I could easily siphon off funds into my own accounts. I really don't know how you could protect assets from abuse, especially when no one but the POA has a handle on what and where it all is. Mica, if your sis had been named executor as well as POA you would probably still be in the dark.

Mica, There must be a way to protect loved ones money, but I have found a gap when it comes to rep-payee funds if the loved one does not cooperate. Those funds are accounted for, but anything else like cash income, gift income, pension, etc. does not come under that protection, only the SSDI income comes under the jurisdiction of the fiduciary rep-payee. Even though the funds are 'protected', the uncooperative recipient can steal from themselves, as well as unscrupulous family members wanting to extort money! Turns the caregiver into a stark-raving mad lunatic having to be so hypervigilant, all for nothing!

How do I account for all the Amazon gift cards he receives, then demands more from our budget, or pouts, fanagles, lies, plays me, until like a spoiled little boy gets everything he wants (latest a camera, a radio, and that is just what I know about!). When calling for help with this, it was explained that someone on SSDI has their food, housing, and medical but very little else, sadly. So, I don't want to be mommy to my husband, and cannot find a way out. We just had a conversation, and it is not like he doesn't deserve the extra he gets. I hate it when he lies. Who is going to take care of him when I am gone? I swear, he would be homeless, sleeping in the bushes as long as he could order his electronics and bike parts (for 3 bicycles!) online. . But that can be done! He already uses neighbors to have his stuff delivered secretly; and he can use the library for the internet! We went to Walmart (me hating to shop there) and saw so many homeless there, buying their cigarettes and alcohol.
I feel so very sad and concerned.
Hear that sound of purse strings zipping closed?

Assandache, I wish I had money!

Reluctantly, I am the wife with the checkbook, but having to protect dH and my funds from him! NFD.


(no further details).

I wish Mom had money! Lol

It's funny how otherwise decent people can rationalize away dipping their fingers into someone else's pie, be it their parents, their place of business or their family. In the beginning maybe they plan to pay it back, or they're just taking a little advance on their pay or inheritance. Then they begin to depend on it and rationalize that they are entitled to it. Sad for everyone when it all comes out.