My mother died tonight.

Question

I visited Mom in the nursing home on Friday. Things were as usual. One sister visited her on Monday and played cards with her. The two other sisters who visited on Tuesday and Wednesday found her not herself at all, and complaining of back pain. Tonight the nursing home sent her to the hospital. She died en route.

I am so grateful that Mom had only a couple of days of not being herself and being in some pain. Lingering would have been very sad.

I am grateful to have had her in our lives so long. She was 96. Although she had dementia she knew us to the end and enjoyed our visits.

I am grateful that she accepted the nursing home and even seemed to enjoy it. She made friends. She was content.

I am grateful that my three sisters and I cooperated fully in taking care of her. We each emailed a brief report of every visit.

The last topic regarding our mother that my sisters and I emailed each other about was whether to use cloth or plastic table clothes at a family dinner we were organizing at the nursing home for her this month. I am grateful she was content and our focus could be on her pleasure right up to the end.

Sendhelp · Accepted Answer

Jeanne,
There are memories.
You shared your Mom with us
and yourself. So grateful here.
Sorry she is gone from you.

assandache7 · Answer

Jeanne so sorry to read of your Mom's passing... Hugs..

innerchild5 · Answer

So sorry, Jeanne, for the loss of your dear mother. You are so very blessed to have a close and supportive family. May you find comfort knowing she no longer is in pain, and in the arms of our loving Father. May she rest in peace, and may you and your sisters continue supporting each other.

golden23 · Answer

So sorry, Jeanne. How you and your family looked after your mum was  definitely a text book case on how to do it. I am glad she was not in pain for long. Thinking of you and yours at this time dealing with the aftermath. I am glad you are sticking around. Be sure to take care of yourself.

Christine73 · Answer

Jeanne, I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious mother. My heart and prayers are truly with you.

anonymous281963 · Answer

My thoughts are with you, Jeanne.
Pleased to hear you will not leave us here.

bookluvr · Answer

I'm sorry about your mom.  I'm also glad that you and your sisters were able to share with caring for her and not just one person.  We all know that it's a rare family who pulls together at times like these.  You and your family are one very close loving family.

anonymous275053 · Answer

Jeannegibbs I am very sorry to learn of Your Mom's passing. It is so consoling to know Your beautiful Mother did not suffer for long and had Her complete awareness to the end. You and Your dear Sisters were wonderful Daughters, and I'm sure You will All celebrate Your Mom's long and wonderful Life, God Bless Her. You have been enormous help to Me through out My Caring of My own Mother Who passed away less than three months ago, RIP. Thank You jeannegibbs, You are a great Lady. From John Joe.

luckylu · Answer

Jeanne,
I am so ,so sorry you lost your dear Mother.What a wonderful job you and your sisters did .My prayers are with you tonight and in the days ahead.I hope you will continue to stay here.You have helped me many times.Take care and God Bless You,Lu

geewiz · Answer

Hi Jeanne,  every one of your posts have been full of information and inspiration.  This one about your Mom is no exception!  To any of the newer posters on this site, I would encourage you to always give thought to Jeanne's postings.  She is a wealth of knowledge.  Your Mom was lucky to have you and your sibs, just as lucky as you were to have Mom.  God bless you for all you have done for her and your husband and for the experiences you have shared here.  Sending prayers your way .  So happy you will be staying on the forum.

jeannegibbs · Answer

Thank each and every one of you for your kind thoughts.

I opted not to go view my mother's body. I guess that is just not meaningful to me.

I did go to the nursing home to help a sister empty Ma's room. It was meaningful to me to hug her special friends and to talk to some of the people who provided care for her. She was well liked.

I'll be staying around on this forum.

vstefans · Answer

Good lady, bless you and your mom and your family, and may all be well!

Veronica91 · Answer

Jeanie so sorry you have lost your wonderful caring Mom. Far better for things to have happened the way they did than to have to witness a slow decline. Hard to believe at first but you also have wonderful sisters to comfort each other. Thinking of you and sending love and hugs.

pamstegma · Answer

Jeanne you are such a good daughter!!
When Heaven's light shines brightly
She will part the clouds above,
And when you see the sunbeam
She is sending you her love.

Karen57 · Answer

Such a wonderful person your mom is/ will always be, to have raised all of you to be so caring.  I sure this is not the only thing you have experienced in your lives, I will try to use the parts of your story for my moms as best, unfortunately my family only want to fight about money, the only one who really wants the end to be peaceful and loving is feeling like a loser, trying to make the other stop. But my prayers go out to all of you and bless you for honoring your mother for how she raised you.

zythrr · Answer

Linda22

I know. It's going to be tough for Jeanne when they do come around. She may really need her family.

Linda22 · Answer

zytrhr, holidays bring about so much emotion after one has lost a dear one.  But having a close family helps a person get thru it a little easier, a bit less feeling alone.

zythrr · Answer

Linda22

There will probably be little comfort when the Holidays roll around.

Linda22 · Answer

Jeanne, I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom.  You're all so blessed to have the love and support of family.  It will give you all such comfort in the coming days, to be able to lean on one another and support each other thru your grieving.  Your mom did a wonderful job, to have nurtured the bonds of sisters.

zythrr · Answer

Jeanne

Look for the little things that your mom will "leave" you to let you know she is fine. If you find money, especially pennies, that's the message that she is allright.

anonymous326422 · Answer

Jeanne, I'm so sorry.  Your family sounds so loving -- your mom must have been  very proud to have raised daughters who appreciate and support each other!   She must have been a wonderful mom and you and your sisters sound like wonderful daughters.  Thank you for all the helpful and tremendously thoughtful posts you write here.  I hope you and your family find comfort in the coming days and weeks.

anonymous281963 · Answer

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}} Jeanne.

staceyb · Answer

Dear Jeanne,  I am so sorry to hear of your Mother's passing.  I know that you and your sisters did so much to make these past few years as nice as possible.  Like you,  having the family collectively supportive make the world of difference,  and I know how it gives you peace of mind,  that your Mom was able to have good relations with all of her daughter's and that they were all looking out for her best interests.   You have been so incredible, kind and insightful to all of us here on the AC,  and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in the coming days.  Please check in, and tell us how you are doing!  Remember to take some time to rest, and to take care of you!  I hope you can check in, and tell us how you are doing,  because we all Love you Jeanne!

Rainmom · Answer

A movie quote for your mother -

"It's amazing, Molly. The love inside - you take it with you".
~ Sam Wheat, Ghost.

STP · Answer

Hi Jeanne, Give you a hug instead of saying something....

Rainmom · Answer

Jeanne - I'm so sorry.

freqflyer · Answer

To Jeanne, my heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.

JessieBelle · Answer

Jeanne, I am so sorry. Your mother was one of the luckiest women in the world to have so many daughters who loved her. And you were lucky to have one of the best mothers. ((((Jeanne and sisters))))

zythrr · Answer

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family can take comfort that your mom is at peace and not in pain anymore.

katiekat2009 · Answer

My prayers will be with you. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the advice you regularly give to us on this site.

My mother died tonight.

52 Comments

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions

Ask a Question