Greeting friends and relatives,
As you all know my Mom passed almost a year ago at 98, oh how she wishes she could have made it to 105. That way she could have continued to live in that big house with all the stairs for many more years with Dad. Well, Dad passed couple months ago at 95, he was tired of cleaning leaves out of the roof gutters, and trying to replace light bulbs in cathedral ceiling lights. At his age he wasn't doing well with ladders or paint brushes.
I am still in my crash and burn medical condition after 7 years of helping my parents. When I get home from work, I refuse to leave the house until the next morning for work. I enjoy my job but noticed this year my Boss' personality is that of Donald Trump, but without the Tweeting. Great!!
I still have my three cats, the Vet sends them their own postcard reminding them of their "Senior Wellness Exam". I get similar postcards from my doctor, dentist, and specialists as I am 3 years behind on my appointments.
My parents house sold "as is"... I finally found where the water was coming into the basement and got that fixed. Oh well, I could have advertised the house as having a "self cleaning basement".
Sig other now has a job at a cemetery, he makes sure he leaves before dark. And on Friday he hit a deer with his Jeep. He's now duct taping flashlights onto the front of the vehicle to use at night.
Enjoy the holiday :)
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Just this morning my husband's brother did call, to brag about a garage he is building to house his new car. This is typical of him, as the calls are never about any concern over how his Dad is getting on, they are only ever about himself.
We haven't heard from the sister, she is very self absorbed, and only calls when she is drunk, and then it's usually nasty call after call after call.
What a F'd up family my poor husband was born into, I have no idea how he ended up so selfless, and willing to take on his Dad for all these years. It's a shame really, but it is what it is!
As for me, I'm a go with the flow kind of gal, and my husband is a gem! It's a wonder we have made it this far into this journey, caring on our own for his Dad with zero help from the other 2 siblings, but at this point, I wouldn't trust the Old Man to their care, as they are worthless human beings. So sad, But, we will strive to make this and every Holiday nice for the Old Man, as long as he is still around, as that is what Nice caring people Do!
I hope you all have Nice Holiday Season! Stace
Dear Brother and Sister in law!
Well, another Holiday Season is upon us, and your is Dad is still barely Alive but Kicking our Butts, not that either of you even care, because both of you rarely call him or even think tosend him a card now and then, so I thought I would send you an update, and fully expect that this letter will end up in the trash, right next to where you dumped your Dad on us 13 years ago, when your Mom passed away.
The Old Man has really declined this past year, he can no longer walk unassisted and must use a walker every time he stands up. He has had several falls, and we are now forced to look into Assisted living, as we to are getting older, and he is becoming too much for us to handle. But still, we have done our best by him, and always will, not that you even care.
It must be nice to be able to go anywhere and do anything you want, without ever even thinking about your own brother, who is the only one who stepped up to care for the poor old guy! Your brother and I haven't even been able to get away for a weekend, let alone a weeks vacation, as your Dad cannot be safely left alone, and hasn't been able to in many years now.
I know the Old Man puts on a front that it doesn't matter that you don't care about him, but deep down, he is so hurt and disappointed, and it pains me to see him this way.
It won't surprise me when you vultures come crawling out of the woodwork when he does finally kick the bucket, expecting some sort of inheritance, but won't you be surprised that he has no money left, as you both already took what you could finnagle out of your folks, when your Mom was still alive, and now he will need to use what money he has left, to pay for the expensive Senior living costs. It could have been different, had either of you helped out now and again, giving us a break here and there, but you are both so cold and callous, and only out for what you could take from him. You two should be ashamed of yourselves, walking away and leaving the old coot, after all, he's your Dad too, but I guess that's what happens when there's someone else to do all the work.
Isn't it interesting that the only time he ever hears from you, a phone call a couple of times a year, is when you want something from him, or when you two are fighting one another, trying to get him to take sides, as after all, he hasn't seen either one of you more than one or two times, and that was over 10 years ago.
I don't know if you even know what a conscious is, but to me, neither one of you have one, or you must hate your little brother so much, to put the care of your Father, solely on his shoulders!
You may think you have somehow won the lottery, but I know you have not, because what we got that you will never understand, is the satisfaction of loving and caring for the Man who gave you life, and even though the caring for him has its challenges, our children have seen what it takes to have morals and values, and that your Dad is worth every effort we have put forth, to give him a warm and loving home to live out his days, and you both have nothing, except greed and devision, and I know that someday, it will dawn on you, most surely after its too late, that you are the losers in this life, because your Dad, as difficult and stuborn as he is sometimes, is still a man of honor worth treating with love and respect, and you will have to live with yourselves for treating both you Brother and your Dad so terribly!
Its really no surprise that you've treated him this way, as both of you walked away from your own kids, never raising them, and pawning even them off onto your ex's.
Dear BIL, how many times have you been married, I count 11! 11 times married, my mind wants to cry Sociopath!
And Dear SIL, the Nurse, who has made a living managing Long-term care facilities for the elderly, bragging on how much money you make, and never even offering us some of your Wisdom, on how to navigate this pathway of caring for an older person, not even a suggestion on Respite care for your brother and I, and certainly never an offer to take him, not a weekend! You'r horrible!
To say that I'm disgusted and disappointed in the pair of you is an understatement! Your Dad has been very good to both of you over the years, with nary a Thank-you from either of you!
So on this Holiday Season, my hope for you both is to have a good long look in the mirror, and see if you can dredge out a smidgen of self respect, and Call your Dad a few times, with Well Wishes for nice Christmas, as at 86 years old, it may well be one of his last ones here on this earth, and he deserves to Believe that you give a damn about him, please, just try to give him that! A nice card, a little present in the mail, it really is not that difficult!
It hasn't been easy but our conscious is clear, can you say the same? Happy Holidays!
Dear Ma,
So glad to hear you and your third husband are enjoying the Florida winter. Your older son had a heart attack in February, did well in CCU for a week and he is back home. We did call the prison and the chaplain will comfort your younger son G, who should be getting out soon. Your daughter had her first baby in March, but don't worry, her MIL took care of her. Your mom is fine, had a little IBS, but nothing the hospital couldn't fix. I tried to reach you and your sister in Florida so you could call your brother who winters in Portugal, but you can get to that any time. I know you'll be back by Mothers' Day so we can all be together then. The cottage in Canada is AOK, we drove up there to check on it. No frozen pipes this year, but the heating bill will probably be a bit more than last year when you turned it to 40. Hugs to all!
I'll start. How about "Just when you thought life could not get any worse, Mom/Dad got old"
Sorry, FF I don't mean to highjack your thread. How about your newsletters and then a title for our book that WE WILL ALL WRITE ONE DAY, YES?
Sorry I haven't been sending Christmas cards or letters, because every time I sit down to write anything, I get so depressed I can seldom finish even the first sentence. Yes, DH is still alive, disabled and still sick all the time. My bad back has been hurting like heck every since last Tuesday morning when I went out to get the newspaper and discovered someone had knocked our big huge garbage can down with a car! Yep, a very large can full of trash and garbage, all over the front of the property, all over the street, across the street. The wind was blowing it all over, so it took me a very long time to gather all of it up into bags, then put it back into the large can. I'm now plotting my revenge on the drunk or whatever @$$#*% purposely did this. Thanksgiving Day wasn't too bad because I stayed home, but my DD had planned a get-together in the city, with her visiting family, my sister's family and me at a restaurant the next day. Sister's family cancelled because a couple of them were sick, so we were going to go out without them. But when I got over to her ex-inlaws house, nobody seemed to want to get going. So, GD & her BF were asking about stories about the family history, that part was nice. Very sweet, those two, but both are recovering addicts. Then GD was talking about the darn election aftermath. Later, her stepfather got upset, being a republican and not understanding why everyone is not totally ecstatic about it. Argument ensues and GD starts crying after a while and goes back to a bedroom. Then the ex-inlaw starts in on me, because...well, it's not horrible enough as it is after the argument and meltdown...and well, I must want to get saved and join her crazy-ass radical religious cult and don't I have a "please attack me" sign on me anyway? And that's when I realized...even my DD doesn't even know me any more! What if, God forbid, I get sick or disabled later on? There is absolutely NOBODY in this crazy family who would be okay as far as making any decisions or helping me in any way. DD didn't defend her DD when her nutcase hubby attacked that poor girl, but she also didn't defend me either. Well, I survived, and told the rabid twit NO, thanks, I'd rather have a lobotomy and have all my teeth pulled out in one hour without any anesthesia! And then we went out and everybody pretended to be enjoying themselves while we all wished they were anywhere else but there together. But OTOH, at least the rabid twit stayed at her place! And oh yes, earlier this month someone broke into my car and stole two credit cards and used one so they could have a good time. The credit cards were replaced and the charges removed. My car needs to be fixed and I'm going to pay $500 next month to see a psychiatrist...because, you know, those don't take health insurance anymore, so I'll have to submit my own claims and hope to get some of that back! I want to say none of it is true, but so help me God, it is. So, did anyone else have a good time this year?
And sorry to hear about your S.O.'s unfortunate deer encounter. My S.O. totaled a car last month in a deer/traffic episode. No injuries, thank heavens. Luckily(?) he is a borderline hoarder. So it "only" reduced our fleet from 4 vehicles to 3.
One day at a time, sweet Jeezus!