My mom, who was 88 years old, just passed away on 12-6-16. I was extremely close to her and more so during the last two years when I became one of her caregivers. In June of 2014, she fell and suffered injuries to her right hand foot, requiring 24 hour assistance. I was a very busy vascular surgeon at the time and I then began to work part-time to care for my mom. Before leaving for work, I would always eat breakfast with her. I would arrive from work in the afternoon and would not leave her side until she went to sleep. Whenever she would need help to go to the bathroom at night, I would wake up and help her. It did not matter what time of the night it was. I also helped bathe her on weekends. I also interviewed multiple caregivers during this time. I must have hired several and fired several as well. My mom was in her usual state of health until June of this year when she was diagnosed with endocarditis. She received 8 weeks of antibiotics but the infection and the sequelae weekend my mom tremendously. She then began to become very anxious and would not sleep for days at a time, sometimes up to 3. We had to start administering benzodiazapenes and melatonin to calm her down so that she could sleep. She became weaker and weaker and died in my arms on 12-6 as I was changing her. I watched her take her last breath. And now this pain of losing my mom is horrible. This separation is killing me. We were so close. She was my purpose for living. I have this sense of emptiness in my heart with no enthusiasm for life. I just cannot imagine living without her. She was so loving and kind and cared deeply for people.
How are you doing? I can only imagine its been a very difficult year. I think the last post was from a spammer.
Thinking of you. Wishing you peace and strength for 2018.
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Feb can be a depressing month. Days slowly get longer, but still winter in many areas.
So sorry for your loss, DevastatedSon.
Now that the holidays are over and we can look forward to spring can you begin to think of what you can do to rebuild your sense of purpose
Separation is hard and it is easy to get discouraged and lonely but your mother would want you to be happy
Let us know how you're doing
My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your beloved mom. I'm so sorry. Its always a terrible shock to lose our parents. I know you loved your mom and this is a very difficult time. During this grief journey please take the time to be as kind and gentle with yourself. It will take a long time to come to terms with what happened. Your story reminds me of my experience as well. You did everything you could for your mom. Thinking of you.
I'm very sorry for the loss of your mom.
I have found that doing talk therapy with a therapist, especially one who is near your age and who had personal experience with their own parent, are excellent because they do really understand. It was the best thing I have done for myself in a very long time. Both my parents and mother-in-law had passed within a year, my Dad and mother-in-law most recently which took everyone by surprised.
Now I need to surround myself with upbeat happy people. Draw away from those who emotionally pull you down. If you have any cousins or friends who can make you smile, call them when you feel it is the right time as it may be too soon.
Go back to work full-time when the time is ready. Go back on-call for emergencies.
time will soothe things, but like any loss will never truly heal. everyone has to find their own way, what works for one might not do as well for someone else. Hang in there. ((((hugs)))