Sandwich generation burnout: Grandkids and parent.

Question

I have a real problem. My husband has dementia, my son needs help with babysitting my grandchild, my mom is in transitional care after foot surgery and she also needs my help. I am stretched beyond stretched!!!!! My son had an accident at work and tomorrow he will need a second surgery, I will babysit our grandchild tomorrow. Heaven help me, it is very difficult babysitting a 2-year-old while taking care of my husband who has dementia. My mom needs me to get her things in transitional care following her surgery. HELP! I need to get my hair cut and have had to cancel adult day care 2 times now because of things that just seem to come up!!! It seems EASY now to just care for my husband when I'm not babysitting or running to the transitional care unit bringing things to my mom. Anyway, just needed to vent here. I don't seem to know of a solution to the problem anytime soon, sigh. It is SO MUCH easier JUST caring for my husband only.

JoAnn29 · Accepted Answer

I was babysitting grandson from infancy until 20 months when I had to take Mom in.  At 67 I couldn't watch a toddler and a mother who was as bad as the 20 month old. My daughter put GAS in daycare.  Your husband is ur first priority. Where is grandchild's mother?  Son is going to have to find someone else.  No siblings who can help with Mom?  To be honest, I think our children feel we should babysit and do it for free.  I did that when daughter was single and putting herself thru nursing school.  When she had the second child she was married and together making over $100,000 so I charged.  I put that money in an account and saved it.  Next year we will be using it to go to Disney World.  If our children have children we r not required to babysit.  We r entitled to our lives because we have done our share.

AliBoBali · Answer

You need hired help.  Someone has the money to pay for it.  If you truly don't have the money to hire a caregiver to child/husband/mom/etc., then you qualify for social services.  Don't wear yourself to the bone and fall ill yourself.  That will make things that much more chaotic.  Obtain hired help asap.  :)

gladimhere · Answer

Carefor1, you are caring for 4. Of course you are tired and overwhelmed. Justifiably so. Where is mom? With you? If in a facility, let them know you just cannot help now. The granddaughter? Isn't there another option? A friend she could spend the day with? Daycare? And son's surgery. Will that be complete soon? Can you arrange your schedule and make husband's day care a priority?

None of us are superwoman! Though it sounds like you are giving it a good try. Hugs.

Sandwich generation burnout: Grandkids and parent.

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