All my begging and pleading with the nurses to admit my dad and no one listened,, yesterday I walk in and find a man in distress, shortness of breath, swollen extremeties,, and 911 it is pop even though he argues. 3 Nurses,, he's had 3 NURSE VISITS in 7 days and they would not admit him ,,, I told them he is spiraling ,, they ignored me ,, I called frantically yesterday and the nurse went and checked and gave him juice and water and said "oh he just doesn't want to get up " ARE YOU KIDDING ME ??????? Now here we are Hyperkalemia (high potassium) possible congestive heart failure,, anemic 2 pints of blood ,,, OMG
Peace n hugs,
Bella
ADVERTISEMENT
I am sorry...
You really did a great job and were an excellent advocate for your Dad.
(((Big Hug)))
So very sorry this happened to your dad ((((HUG)))
Big gentle hug for you both ❤️️
I'm so sorry you have been through so much loss of late, I too lost 3 parents in only 14 months, and then took over the care of my FIL after that, so I can relate a bit, to what you've been going through.
I also agree with those suggesting that you tell him it's OK to go. It sounds like he has been an Amazing Father, and you are lucky to have had him!
It's so hard losing our Loved Ones, and I guess there is some sort of life lesson, though I am hard pressed to find it, when our loss is stacked one right after the other, but it often seems to go that way, doesn't it? You Remember to Take Care of YOU! God Bless!
I did this for both of my parents and my grandmother. My grandmother passed 2 minutes after my mother got there to tell her it was ok to go - she was in end stage breathing for nearly an hour before that. She was just waiting for one of her daughters to tell her it was ok. We had to have the conversation with dad while he was in a brief lucid moment, as he was very sick with sepsis and kidney failure. We told him the plan was to move him to another hospital where he could become more nutritionally stable and receive dialysis every single day - but that it meant a very hard fight for him. We asked him if he wanted to stay and fight, or if he just wanted to let go -
and told him we'd be ok with either decision. He said he didn't know...then said he wanted to stay...but passed away a few hours later. With Mom, I didn't get much chance, because she collapsed suddenly at the NH and was on life support by the time I saw her when they brought her out of her room and took her to the hospital. I did tell her it was ok to go, but I honestly think by that time, she was already gone. That's been a hard one for me to accept, because I always thought I'd be there for her when she passed - but that decision was taken out of my hands.
Just be there with him. Talk to him, tell him you love him and that if he feels he needs to go, it's ok. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do, but also very important.
Then I knew he was back with my Mom, his love of his life. I remember the caregiver said that my Dad kept calling out my Mom's name and reaching up for her. So it was time. My Dad also had a fascinating 95 years, so no regrets.
We'll stick with you!