Bad night.

Oh Annabelle, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. You need some nice things to happen for you!

thanks for replying everybody. I did just start therapy. can't afford to go more than once every other week. I feel like giving up. I have a lot of problems going on other than caring for my mom. i'd like to write more but i am too tired. i just don't understand why my life turned out so bad.

Hi Annabelle,
Sorry you had a bad night. I haven't seen you post in a month or so. I was hoping all was going well.

Also, you have probably already located these, but it looks like there is a not-for-profit assisted living community in Seattle called Park Place Assisted Living. There is also low income senior housing (probably with a waitlist) in Seattle; information is on seattlehousing.org. Maybe your mom can look into those options for herself and possibly get her name on waitlists.

Hi Annabelle, I'm sorry things haven't improved...it is horrible to feel like family are taking sides. Plus if your brother is/was there, that must drag up a lot of feelings that are hard to deal with. Don't feel bad about backing away from the situation.

You have already done a lot for your mom and it sounds like she is out of the woods in terms of her recovery. She has her own home and maybe it's better for her to return there for the time being. The amount of stress isn't worth it; it will make you sick.

It sounds like your mom is taking a really passive role in how to proceed. If that’s the case, maybe that’s because she’s feeling weak health-wise or maybe it’s just how she is. But it’s not fair for her to leave all this up to you. She really needs to be the one to decide what her plan is. If she needs help she can let you know what she needs and you should be able to tell her whether you are in a place to help or not.

It also sounds like you are at your limit. Better to say “Enough!” now rather than wait till you are beyond your breaking point. Once you regain a sense of control over your life, you can decide how involved you want to be in your mom's care. There is nothing wrong with that. Don’t allow yourself to be put in a position where you can only react to what your mom and sister do. You will feel so much better if you set the limits.

AnnabelleB, have you started counselling? You deserve some professional help with your anger and distress. You don't deserve this grief and anxiety.

Have you made any progress in getting your mother moved out of your apartment?

What has happened with the house she owns 500 miles away?

Talk to us, Annabella!

Hugs Annabelle....run here for advice from the wise...I am not wise yet, still learning "how" to get through this "sh*t" of caregiver
Will be thinking if you