I miss having friends. I miss my friends. I hate Facebook for every picture of friends having great times without me. I hate that I feel sorry for myself.
Thanks for the supportive comments. Good luck with your business, CareIsGiving! And, JJGood19, your comment about the shower cracked me up because I am always scared to lock the door in case there is an emergency; that must be an invitation to come on in. Wishing everyone a very happy 4th of July!
Mom lived in my home for only a short time-maybe six weeks? It only took two weeks for me to realize that it wasn't going to work, she shadowed me ALL her waking hours. In her own home she wouldn't do that, but in unfamiliar places, I was lucky if I got 15 minutes alone to shower. I had no life unless someone chose to hang out with me & Mom. Now that she is in Memory Care Home, I have a life, I get together with friends, I travel, etc. I am not ready, or frankly, willing to give up my life just yet, and if Mom were in her right mind, she would agree. She certainly never made any sacrifices to care for her Dad when he was aging.
Are you able to connect with friends via phone at least? And on the whole FB thing, I try to only post positive stuff, so if you don't know me well, you have no idea that my life is filled with the same daily struggles everyone else faces. I'm pretty sure that's what most people do with FB.
I feel sorry for myself too sometimes...it's healthy to embrace it, somehow easier for me to work through if I allow the self-pity.
I don't go on Facebook anymore because seeing everyone "happy" living their lives just p*sses me off. I think people who are on Facebook all of the time are insecure (or have too much time available) so they have to prove to everyone else on the planet that they're living a fantastic life. This isn't real life.
I'm no longer on the same page as my friends. I don't miss them, actually, but what I miss is who I was when I was with them. Before solo caregiving both parents, I had a successful career, a fiance, tons of friends, etc. Most importantly, I was genuinely happy. Caregiving has changed me. After my caregiving role ends, then I'll have the time to meet people and develop friendships but these friendships will be different...perhaps with more soul and depth because when you are caregiving very ill family members, you learn what's really important in life. My former friends were too superficial. I just can't relate to that anymore. After I'm done with caregiving, I want to live life to the fullest because I've painfully learned how precious it is to be in good health - and I plan to maintain this until I die as I refuse to end up like my parents. No way.
Don't hate yourself for feeling sorry about yourself. Everyone on this forum has experienced this from time to time. You just have to remind yourself that your situation is temporary and try to find the silver lining. I firmly believe things happen for a reason and it's actually because of my caregiving that I'm on a much better path in life. Perhaps a new and better door will open to you during your caregiving journey. Learn from this journey.
I've chosen not to socialize because I'm starting a business so that by the time my mother passes away, I'm financially set to accomplish my dreams. I'm also starting the business because I'm so tired of people telling me I'm such a good daughter - as if I have no other aptitude for a "real" career in their eyes.
You have a choice. Find someone to give you relief - just one day a week - so you can get out and meet people. There are plenty of groups that meet during the day on Meetup dot com. Check out your local city calendar of events. Where I live, there's a magazine published every three months listing all types of affordable classes (pottery, photography, cooking, arts/crafts, tennis, etc) happening at the local community centers.
I just reconnected with some friends from high school! It sure felt good. We have each gone our separate ways, but, plan to stay in touch. I think that is important.
Yes it is hard. in my case I have older friends and family that won't be around much longer and it eats away at me . I get one day off,and all I can do is sleep all day. I just want someone talk with, have a few laff's and forget for a while
Been there. I did the 24/7 for a year. Then put Mom in daycare from 8 to 2:30 3x a day. Gave me and husband some time to ourselves and lunch with a friend. I finally took what money she had and put Mom in an AL but that only lasted 8 months. House didn't sell and money ran out. So after paying 2 months privately, Mom is in LT and starting Medicaid July. I see her everyother day. Believe me a lot of pressure has been taken off my shoulders. I have been doing her wash but thinking about letting the home. Your Mom is only going to get worse. You may want to consider LT care. Call ur local Medicaid office and see what their rules are. If Mom qualifies u maybe able to get some homecare. Check out homes in the area. Ask residents families what they think. I feel that I have the freedom now to pick up and go. So far my Mom seems to be clean, fed and taken care of.
I had no life unless someone chose to hang out with me & Mom.
Now that she is in Memory Care Home, I have a life, I get together with friends, I travel, etc. I am not ready, or frankly, willing to give up my life just yet, and if Mom were in her right mind, she would agree. She certainly never made any sacrifices to care for her Dad when he was aging.
Are you able to connect with friends via phone at least?
And on the whole FB thing, I try to only post positive stuff, so if you don't know me well, you have no idea that my life is filled with the same daily struggles everyone else faces. I'm pretty sure that's what most people do with FB.
I feel sorry for myself too sometimes...it's healthy to embrace it, somehow easier for me to work through if I allow the self-pity.
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I'm no longer on the same page as my friends. I don't miss them, actually, but what I miss is who I was when I was with them. Before solo caregiving both parents, I had a successful career, a fiance, tons of friends, etc. Most importantly, I was genuinely happy. Caregiving has changed me. After my caregiving role ends, then I'll have the time to meet people and develop friendships but these friendships will be different...perhaps with more soul and depth because when you are caregiving very ill family members, you learn what's really important in life. My former friends were too superficial. I just can't relate to that anymore. After I'm done with caregiving, I want to live life to the fullest because I've painfully learned how precious it is to be in good health - and I plan to maintain this until I die as I refuse to end up like my parents. No way.
Don't hate yourself for feeling sorry about yourself. Everyone on this forum has experienced this from time to time. You just have to remind yourself that your situation is temporary and try to find the silver lining. I firmly believe things happen for a reason and it's actually because of my caregiving that I'm on a much better path in life. Perhaps a new and better door will open to you during your caregiving journey. Learn from this journey.
I've chosen not to socialize because I'm starting a business so that by the time my mother passes away, I'm financially set to accomplish my dreams. I'm also starting the business because I'm so tired of people telling me I'm such a good daughter - as if I have no other aptitude for a "real" career in their eyes.
You have a choice. Find someone to give you relief - just one day a week - so you can get out and meet people. There are plenty of groups that meet during the day on Meetup dot com. Check out your local city calendar of events. Where I live, there's a magazine published every three months listing all types of affordable classes (pottery, photography, cooking, arts/crafts, tennis, etc) happening at the local community centers.
I feel that I have the freedom now to pick up and go. So far my Mom seems to be clean, fed and taken care of.