He's also nearly blind and uses a walker. I retired a few months ago due to his declining health. I have been providing caregiving to my husband for more than 20 years now (Cardiomyopathy in 95, had a heart transplant in 1997) in one fashion or another, but the last 5 years have been the toughest. Some days are good for me, many days I have anger and resentment because of the long term care he has needed over the years. I get care in at times, and have had some 2-3 day respites that have helped but sometime keeping a good attitude is very difficult. Actually, most of the time it's hard to keep a smile on my face! Glad to join this group and vent some. Hi all!
My first impression is what a strong man your hubby is to have survived all the things he has. It is really amazing that he has survived 20 years with a transplanted heart that is very encouraging to hear.
I can see how difficult it is becoming for you especially since you are home with him 24/7 these days and have to go with him for dialysis. I expect he likes you to stay with him. If you can manage to hire help for at least one day each week I think it would lighten the load a lot.
Have you considered any kind of care facility? I think they are exceedingly expensive Nobody, certainly here, would judge you if you decided to take that route The kidney failure would certainly qualify for Hospice if you feel he is ready to take that step. He may or may not be able to continue the dialysis so that is a question you should ask hospice and your insurance about that.
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Remember to take care of yourself!