I am 33 years old and had a job but had to stop due to my fathers hospitalization. He was in very critical condition... anyways this is not about him. This is about my mother. She can not drive due to tunnel vision and can not walk a straight line due to a stroke. Other than that, she can function well on her own. I look up to her for answers and everything all my life, but now it seems that I have a wonderful man in my life. She seems to be using that against me, making statements about welfare checks and other cruel remarks about me. Im personally getting tired of her trying to get in to every aspect of my life. I love her, but my god its getting to be too much for me. She can be downright cruel to me unprovoked!
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I know you've done a lot for both your parents. It is overwhelming. I think your mom is probably afraid of being abandoned, but this does not excuse her behaviour. As the others have said, you have right to lead your own life.
I too tried very hard to please my mom but it never seemed good enough. I know its hard but you know your own mind and heart. It's easier said than done but set those boundaries and reinforce them. You are young woman that deserves to build her own future.
Are you back at work now? That would be a good untying-the-apron-strings move.
Do you live with her in her house?