Does this ever happen to you? About 90% of the time, whenever I get the rare chance to go out for a short time with a friend or go out to a movie, my mother suddenly gets sick or upset or needy, just as I'm getting ready to go out the door. I've had to cancel so many plans over the years, because of this. Its like she has some kind of radar. It may sound small to some people, but I won a ticket to see a movie at a local theater today, and I'm all excited about it, since I haven't been out for almost a week. She woke me up at 5 am this morning, saying that she was getting painful in bed. I got her washed and dressed, helped her slide onto her wheelchair with the board, and then got her into her recliner chair in the living room, where she said she felt comfortable. Two hours later, she said she wanted to go back to bed. She has moderate dementia, and she doesn't realize that it'll just make her painful again after a while. I'm being selfish as hell, I know, but I can bet that she'll start to get sore and want to get up, just as I'm heading out the door. I'm her paid caregiver and she lives in my home. I'm allowed to leave her for a few hours at a time, if I ever can. Little things mean a LOT !!!!
Eventually I just went to my primary doctor once a year and didn't bother with anyone else for about 4 years, not even the dentist, mammograms, cardiologist, etc.... [sigh]. Just too much stress.
My Mom used to say she wan't afraid of being alone, but back then she was not in such deep dementia. Now, there are times her words aren't "I'm scared", but we can see what she really is saying, that she's afraid she'll be alone. If you could hire a person or ask someone to stop by while you go out could make a huge difference in this.
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