I think I am finally starting to grieve my MILs death. The entire month of June was nothing but stress and heartache over what her partner did. It kept me consumed. Now that things have calmed down (for the time being), it’s hitting me. I just found myself sobbing while cutting up a watermelon the neighbors brought over! I went into the kitchen to cut it up, glances at a picture of her & my kids on the fridge, starting cutting away and all of a sudden I was flooded with fond memories of being in her kitchen while she cut up a watermelon or a cantaloupe, offering it to wherever was there. And when one of the grandkids refused try it, she would take a small piece and rub it on their lips. And the tears started flowing :(
It’s just so unfair. I don’t know why but I feel like I can’t believe she is gone! She has been a month already yet today it just seems so unbelievable. Now I’ve got pull myself together because my husband will be home from work any minute now and I don’t want to have to explain why I am crying over a watermelon! I’ll just end up a blubbering mess again.
Sending you hugs. It is hard. Please know there is no right way or wrong way to grieve. Take as much time as you need and let the tears come. I think the first year is the hardest. I was very tearful and there are still days I still am. MIL was a big part of your life and she was lucky to have your love and care.
Please know we are with you.
I know too there are really no words that comfort a grieving heart.
I lost my Dad over a year and a half now. I still have moments that are triggered by various things that just cause me to fall apart and sob. The Lord puts me back together. What I do know is that time and God make the grief more manageable. I don't believe it ever completely leaves us, depending on our love for that person, but I do know it becomes manageable.
Hang in there I will be praying for you. Lean on the Lord, for he loves us, more than we can fathom.
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