It seems we are d*mned if we do, and d*mned if we don't!

Feeling cornered is common with a consuming responsibility like care giving, but you are not alone. One of the first things we do with new clients is fill out a Team Sheet that shows you all the professional people who are already familiar with the needs of your loved one and your family. By adding to the team in other categories (geriatric care manager, support group leader, senior center director, elder law attorney) you can get more insight and support.

An elder law attorney in your state can explain how your loved one could access Medicaid funded home care hours. By complying with the transfer and asset regulations you can arrange ownership of the home itself so that it will not disqualify an application for assistance. The elder law attorney who understands your circumstances and the regulations in your state can show you the best approaches.

Thank you for all of your responses! I do so appreciate them!

It is easier to get Medicaid if your private pay before. House has to be sold at Market value. Pay any bills outstanding and you can prepay her funeral. The rest can be used to private pay. When money starts to run out then apply for a Medicaid.

I don't get the comment "if we sell her home, she won't quality for Medicaid for future help". She can use the assets from the sale until they are gone and then apply for Medicaid, in fact many on the forum have been able to get into better nursing homes because they had the ability to self pay for a year or two.

Lost, see if you can get with an Elder Law Attorney who specializes in Medicaid. A lot of them offer a consult for free. There are ways around everything. I hear you about the rants. Hubby’s had the runs for going on three days.