Describe a typical day for your loved one in the nursing home...

MaryGj, be very careful with statements like “I could never” Life is both long and full of the unexpected. I could not have envisioned the scenario that changed my mothers life so completely in a moments time. She went from telling my dad she didn’t feel well to a huge hemorrhagic stroke that took away literally every physical ability. She couldn’t sit, stand, swallow, roll, scratch where it itched, tell her need to use the bathroom effectively, lost sight in one eye. Within a few weeks she couldn’t talk anymore, she lost sight in the one eye, developed contractures, and was literally dead weight who couldn’t assist in anyway in moving her, changing her position, or anything else. Probably most cruel of all, mentally she was completely fine, totally aware of the nightmare she was living. There is simply no family that could possibly take on the care she required. There were always at least 2-3 caregivers to feed her, to change her, to transfer her, to rotate her, all around the clock. Maybe the situation was unusual, but it was through the help of her nursing home that we were able to visit her, advocate for her, and be her cheerleaders and support through the nightmare she lived. I’ve been on agingcare for a few years now and it stings and chaps each time I see that smirky statement flung out so smugly of “we’d never put our loved one in a nursing home” I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but I’ll be eternally grateful for the caring staff we had in our family’s time of need. I can only wish people would understand

When I checked your profile I see you joined AC just to make this comment MaryGj, I'm glad you can still manage with home care and that you have found caregivers that are reliable. Unfortunately many of us have had to make the decision to place our loved ones, not because we don't care but because we just can't provide the level of care they need.

In my opinion it's a terrible place. I could never send my close relative to a nursing home. My granny is too old and needs help. I found a company that offers home care devotedhc.com. This is much better.

Poetry - in my experience recreation staff try hard to get people to participate in their activities and will go around trying to corral anyone who is willing. You can check out the activities and entertainment calendar for things you think she would like and then mention that you want her to be included.

daughterof1930, do they encourage residents to participate in the activities or not? For example, if somebody is not native speaker and can not read and understand English very well, will they bring her in or just abandon her?

I really think the SNF sounds like a nursing home from the 1950's MsMadge. So they couldn't get her up again for dinner? Mom's in a room with ceiling lifts but it's the same principle just different equipment.
I assume that mom's small intake of foods and fluids simplifies things for staff, as far as I know she just gets a diaper check before/after her afternoon nap.

Cwillie,
hoca runs on a similar schedule but spending 4 hours there from 9 am to 1 pm is exhausting especially since mom now needs a hoyer lift to do a diaper change between breakfast and lunch

when she had to spend a month in a SNF with sepsis, residents who needed a hoyer were put to bed after lunch
this was really difficult to adjust to as the bed and room were so small and she had to eat dinner in bed

It is similar at the AL in which my loved one is a resident there. In that it is difficult knowing when to call on the phone or visit.
Last call, I woke him from a nap. The call before, his phone was off the hook, for longer than a normal conversation he would be having. Starting to worry, giving it some time, knowing that they check on him frequently, and he has a caregiver.
So, calling back later, it turns out that the cat did it-his cat knocked it off the hook.

Anyway, they keep him so busy with proposed activities, he sneaks outside on his scooter when it is not too hot, avoiding the caregiver, who finds him out there on
the grounds.

There are other activities going on at mom's NH, she just isn't able to participate. I have to admit though that after a year there I've learned that a full activities calendar isn't always what it seems, things like fun and fitness is really a euphemism for mandated PT, pet therapy is sitting everyone in a circle (in the lounge again, of course) and walking around to each resident with an untrained animal for 1/2 an hour🙄. I still can't figure out coffee & tea at 8:00 a.m. - isn't that part of breakfast?
Oops, I'm starting to rant...

I was feeling a little put out when I posted this because between sleeping and eating (or at least sitting in the dining room waiting) there isn't much of a window for anyone to visit with mom - others don't have ability to pop in as frequently (and briefly) as I do.

My mom’s schedule is about the same, except she doesn’t take a nap. Bedtime depends on how busy is is during the day.

What you described is somewhat typical of the nursing home my mother was in. I’d add that they additionally had afternoon activities, a good number of people coming in as entertainment of various kinds, and twice weekly church services. Bedtime wasn’t as early as with your mom. There was wide variation in the residents in what they could or wanted to participate in, some very active, a very few never leaving their beds at all.