I haven’t been on in a little while. I hope everyone is hanging in there. I am doing okay actually.

We are adjusting with the addition to our house. i have been going to AA pretty regularly and sometimes that is helpful but sometimes i feel people just want to fix me and not look at themselves. I have been feeling really positive and have been working really hard at eating. I have just been feeling beat down by others at times. That’s one thing I love about this group, you give encouragement and acceptance. I have worked really hard at being vulnerable and finally just being me. I have just been feeling like me being me is not okay. I can be feeling great and I have someone at a meeting tell me everything I am doing wrong. I am a high energy person who loves life and yes I admit that I get off a little when I speak at a meeting but I catch myself. I am not the only person who does this. So last saturday I am at the meeting and I was talking about how I have worked hard at being vulnerable and to speak my truth and dealing with anxiety and I stopped myself because I realized I had got off what I was saying. I said oops I got off what I was saying. So after the meeting this guy tells me that my therapist should do this and I was spinning. Yet as I was walking out this woman thanked me for my honesty and for everything I said. I can’t make anybody happy it feels sometimes and I just want to be happy myself and I am. These last few years have been a lot and I have learned so much about myself and I look at how my relationship with my husband has grown and is deeper than ever before. I cherish so much and I am so grateful. There is so much more to this story and it is hard to explain. I just get overwhelmed by one person saying this and another this or telling what you are thinking and I try to explain that’s not what is going on but they don’t believe you. I have to remember what other people think about me is none of my business. I apologize if nothing of this makes sense. love you guys.