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Tothill Posted November 2018

A gentle death. My stepdad is gone.

No question, just sharing my experience of witnessing my step dad's death last night.


I was in vigil with my mother when my stepdad died last night. If there such a thing as an ideal death, I think that is what David achieved. 


He was diagnosed with Dementia a couple years ago. It was progressing slowly and up until 7 weeks ago he was driving, attending church and living a quiet life. He had slowed down, was not really participating in conversations anymore.


6 weeks and one day ago we thought he had had a stroke. Garbled speech uncoordinated limbs lead to a trip to the hospital and that is where he stayed. It was not a stroke, but undiagnosed metastasized cancer. He regained his speech and ability to walk, but over slowly lost his ability to walk and Monday morning lost consciousness. He was on Palliative Care and was given pain medication as needed. At 10:40 pm his breathing became slower and at 10:45 he was gone.


 Mum had been told on Friday to expect him to be gone before Christmas. Luckily Mum had worked as a Hospice Volunteer and recognized the signs over the weekend that it was going to be closer than expected.


Today was spent on the phone, and meeting with the funeral home. Luckily he had planned and paid for cremation, so there is no cost with the funeral home. Thursday we meet with the minister to plan the service which will be held in 9 days to give his kids and other family who live further away time to come.


I think he had the death many of us would wish for, dying in his sleep with loved ones nearby. He believes in God and did not fear dying.

staceyb Nov 2018
Tothill, a blessed passing indeed. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time.

Thank you for sharing, as it does take some of the fear of the dying process away, that so many people do worry about. I'm so glad that he didn't have to suffer, as and linger on so. Take Care!

MountainMoose Nov 2018
My condolences for your loss, Tothill. What a relief that his passing was gentle. Be good to yourself and your mother. Thank you for letting us know. May sweet memories of him bring you peace

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Countrymouse Nov 2018
That is the way to do it, certainly. Nunc dimittis.

Wishing your mother and all the family comfort as you come to terms with losing David.

cwillie Nov 2018
I'm sorry for your loss.

Isthisrealyreal Nov 2018
May you and your family receive grieving mercies.

Thank you for sharing that beautiful passing, that we may all be blessed by the strength and faith of your family.

gladimhere Nov 2018
I am so sorry for your loss, Tothill. He is at peace.

smeshque Nov 2018
My heart goes out to you for your loss. May the Lord comfort your hearts.

Riverdale Nov 2018
Sad as your loss is I believe you are so fortunate to have had it be this progression which you so eloquently shared. I think many of us hope for an end without prolonged suffering and spend alot of time imagining how it will be and how we will cope with what we are dealt. It can be a daily mental challenge to hate the present yet fear the future.

shad250 Nov 2018
So sorry for your loss

OkieGranny Nov 2018
Sorry for your loss. I pray that God will give you comfort at this difficult time.

Ahmijoy Nov 2018
I’m so sorry. Sending you much sympathy and peace.

BootShopGirl Nov 2018
It sounds like David had a peaceful passing with loved ones by his side. Bless you and your Mama and family tonight Tothill.

Sendhelp Nov 2018
Yes, that was gentle.
Sorry for your family's loss.

BarbBrooklyn Nov 2018
What a blessing. Thank you for sharing.

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