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beansy33 Posted February 2019

I am now 68, widow, alone, have a son who is distant in miles and himself. I have no family, no friends nearby.

I am very depressed. I am afraid to go out. No one calls. I see black holes in front of me. I had a brain hemorrhage and surgery 60 years ago. I lost a lot of vision from that. I do not drive.

Sunnygirl1 Feb 2019
I'd try to get a check up with your doctor and explain how you're feeling. I know someone who got a lot of relief by taking some medication that really helped her after her mother died and she felt very down. Hers got better over time.

It's good that you are reaching out to others. There are a lot of widows at the church that I attend. They do things together and keep in touch throughout the week. I think there are social groups that you can get involved in, where others would really value your time and company. The details, like transportation can be worked out.

anonymous844677 Feb 2019
Are you religious?
Maybe live close to a Church?
They can pick you up usually
And do some fellowship through the church.
Maybe this might help you?
Bobby

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cwillie Feb 2019
Hm, the OP hasn't filled out her profile and the question has been edited in a way that completely changes the meaning to me. Perhaps you can come back and tell us some more Beansy?

gladimhere Feb 2019
How long ago did your spouse die?

This sounds like grief to me. After a loss finding a new normal will take time, and it is different for everyone. Maybe find a grief support group for starters?

smeshque Feb 2019
Beansy, some cities have free transportation for seniors. Maybe you might get the courage up to check out your local senior center, or church and try and make some new friends. The animal adoption is also a good idea.
I am so sorry that you have these feelings. Being scared is no fun at all. But, life can be and get better. But, you have to really want to take that first step. It is so hard, I know. But it can be so rewarding to overcome that fear. Just think if you try getting to know others, you will not feel so alone.
As Cwillie suggested maybe you need a new environment. Maybe an assisted living where you can make friends and have help if you need it.
I wish I could give you a big old hug. Please call the office of aging as advised. They can direct you to the resources you need.
You are now not alone, You now have all of us. :)
I will be praying for you.

beansy33 Feb 2019
The black holes are not my vision, but what I see when I feel so hopeless

JoAnn29 Feb 2019
Please cal, your Office of Aging. Maybe they can help you find resources you need.

I reconnected with some friends on FB. I go out to lunch with two of them and breakfast with another.

Ahmijoy Feb 2019
Beany, your comment hurts my heart. Sometimes we need to look inside ourselves to help ourselves. Do you have ANY interests or hobbies that you could use to keep you active? If you like animals, maybe fostering a kitty for a rescue organization? Animals can be wonderful emotional support. The organization pays for everything so it won’t cost you anything.

Contact your local Society for the Blind and ask if they have any volunteers who could help you. Church groups also have people who will visit homebound people. So do local Senior Centers. Good luck and come back. We care.

cwillie Feb 2019
Beany, if you are having any new medical problem call 911 and get yourself to a place you can be evaluated.
I think it would be wise for you to consider moving to a place where there are people paid to keep an eye on you and to make your life easier, you deserve that.

Segoline Feb 2019
Could you clarify what you mean about the black holes? Are you saying that is in your visual field? Or something else?

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