A few of you have followed me and made comments regarding my situation. I have been caregiver for most of my 60 years to my 91 yo mom and my 103 yo Aunt. My precious aunt, who would have been 104 in March, passed away on Jan 13 in my home where we had cared for her the last 6 months. I miss her terribly, but would never tear her out of the arms of Jesus to bring her back. My mom has turned her back on me in favor of my “golden child” brother who has completely drained her over the years. Under his current care, she no longer gets out of bed, bathes or dresses. She is in heaven! But...so weak, she can’t even walk on her own. Home health and a couple of cousins who look in on her say she is not being neglected or abused...that this is her choice, but it’s eating me alive. Her venomous, hateful words about me over the last year, burn holes in my mind and heart every day. I’m in counseling and pray every that I can some how turn this negative into positive so my husband and I can get on with our lives. We live across the road from them and are currently meeting with our builder to build on the land my aunt left us...with is remote and beautiful. I’ll still be only 5 minutes away, but won’t have to see the house 100 times a day from my kitchen window. Asking for prayers of peace, joy, wisdom and discernment!
ADVERTISEMENT
I assume your mother has dementia. You know from experience and reading here that the elderly frequently turn against the one who does the most for them.
You DESERVE a break and getting on with your life. Your mother is doing what makes HER happy, which is staying in bed. You CANNOT live her life for her and you cannot allow yourself to stress over her decisions, no matter how horrible they are. She is 91.
Take a long break from her. I guarantee she will be asking to see you and will probably be nicer to you when she does see you.