Dad in hospice, so hard to watch.

He is not in pain??  Be so thankful that his pain can be relieved.

Just sending you love and hugs. My Mom was diagnosed with bladder cancer, had the surgery a couple of months ago but it has spread so hospice came in last week. It has been the most difficult thing to watch and experience since you are helpless in doing anything to help your parent in their process. As long as your Dad is not in pain that is always good. I have taken Mom out in her wheelchair for walks. Cherish as much time as you can with your Dad. Pull out photo albums and talk about the memories shared in those albums, if you can get him in a wheelchair to walk together, listen to music together, watch your favorite movies together. Tell him some jokes to make him smile, pray with him...can he do puzzles or even coloring books? Those are good to keep him busy and active. Anything you can do to engage him, bring in visitors or have a big family gathering to see him. It is a SO hard to watch your parent failing right in front of your eyes but YOU have to be their strength when they are weak. Hug and kiss him more so he knows he is loved always :) love and hugs to you my dear. I know church has helped me a great deal in this journey so maybe you both can go to church together to. Whatever you can do together is always great :)

It's been an emotional roller coaster for me for 6 months now. On so many occasions it seemed Mom was about to die, then she would get a little better. She has been bedridden for 6 months, eats hardly nothing for about 4 months now. She has had hot chocolate and ice tea. She has been on Hospice this whole time and as you mentioned it is soooooo hard to watch a parent wither away. She barely weighs anything anymore. I am so tired at this point. I love her dearly.

You are suffering for them, but for good or for bad, having had a LOT of experience with this through 4 very, very dear LOs, I feel safe in suggesting to you that what he was telling you about his end of life hopes in the past are probably not part of his current thinking.
The music is a wonderful idea, not too loud, in the background, also there are little plug in atomizers of lavender and other soothing scents that are soothing. Some are made by the Vick’s company and there’s also a NyQuil vaporizer if you can find them.
Take extra good care of yourself. They will know at some level when you are especially stressed, so do things FOR YOURSELF that are calming and soothing FOR YOU.
Gentle hopes and thoughts-

i will play him music, he might like that. great idea, thank you.

my mom.... ugh. she has cognitive impairment, a little. we have a woman that lives there with them, she is so helpful but a bit of language barrier. mom keeps asking dad what he wants to eat (not eating) and who is going to take him to his bed (sleeps in the hospital bed) and basically just walks around constantly asking questions of him, which he can't answer. most of the time she is fine, but acts wacky sometimes.

it's so sad because this is exactly what he didn't want, and why he chose hospice... to linger, unable to do anything and not living. i can't stand thinking of him there, confused, helpless, wanting to die. i just want it to end for him.

((((((((hugs))))))))) to you, Edith. Yes, this is SO hard to watch. Does he have any activities that he likes to do? Looking at picture albums, listening to music from when he was young?

When my mom was on Hospice, my SIL and I played her music from musicals, from the American songbook and from Opera, all of her favorites.

How is your mom doing?