Sorry, me again, about my grandma...

Question

And last time when I went to see her we were talking and she looked at me and said

“all those times... all the... things”

and I knew she meant all our memories of our lives together as a family, and was grieving for them. So I put my arms around her and our cheeks together and said

“they’re all still with us in our hearts”

and she replied

“yes... but... it all goes away.”

It's too sad. I can’t bear it. We cried a bit. Then I started going on about some silly thing like my dog, or Joe cooking us dinner, and she seemed to forget the sad moment.

I wish I could memorialize the good memories somehow. Christmas lights, fireplace, sunroom, afternoon tea, the magnolia tree, England, scotch eggs, putting my head on her lap in church when I was little, her Dundee cake, feeding the squirrels the crunchy peanut butter on good bread...

I wish she would just pass away in peace thinking of good memories with her family. No more grief!!

(Ps I wish Grief was a topic we could pick... could it be?)

Hazelthebunny · Accepted Answer

ephoto frame is a great idea. She used to have several in her house but she has rejected all her home things as she doesn't want to spoil memories of her old home by bringing them into the hated residence... also her late son made most of them, and i don't know how she would feel being reminded of that.
Wish I knew what to do. I'll ask my dad if he has the ephoto frames he made her...

mally1 · Answer

I am a companion to ladies with dementia who live in AL; when I come once or twice a week for 2 hrs, we have a good time, sometimes a great time, they say.  My current lady and I have become good friends and her family keeps asking me to come more often, because it's so good for her.  She doesn't remember what we did, or talked about, as the last one I had didn't (full blown Alz), but it's about making them happy and laughing "in the moment" - worth a lot, Hazel - just keep on keeping on.....

lynnm12 · Answer

Oh, Hazel. She's so lucky to have you! This is something we just can't control and have to take it moment to moment. And you made her happy in the moment. Maybe that's all that matters in the long run. I get it's so tough. Keep talking about the 'silly' things. It helps them in the moment, which again, is all that matters.

Isthisrealyreal · Answer

She is blessed to have you.

Is it possible to created a photo montage on an e photo frame of happy times that will help her to focus on the happy memories instead of the future.

Does she have faith? Perhaps play her favorite music gently in the room. I set my Ipad up in my dads hospital room and played the bible all night. He was in a coma, but I know it brought him peace, it showed in his vitals.

The cycle of life is a challenge to face, God bless you for being there and giving her so much love.

Sorry, me again, about my grandma...

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