Hi everyone. I hope everyone is doing well as can be. I just wanted to share a little gratitude. A year ago last Monday mom was medflighted.

I forgot to mention that it was a year ago on the 24 th since i talked to my brother. I had a therapy session on the 22 nf and i thought everything was just out but there is so much still inside me regarding my family. Even my brother who passed away while my mom was pregnant with me. Not anger at all but love. She could really sense the connection between my brother and i. I know he has chosen his journey and we are not apart of that and its okay. I do understand what and why he had to do what he did. Then if my mother and I are talking and I just say that I understand she says I am taking their side, that’s the furthest from the truth. My therapist kept asking me if my brother called tomorrow would i just forgive and move on or would I keep him out of my life. At one minute I think that’s all I want the most in my life. Then on the other hand. I know my husband and friends would go crazy. It is the insanity of doing the same thing again and expecting something different. There has been a pattern that I am in his life when he needs me or for me to do something and then he is gone. Or is this my perception. But my loyalty has to be to my husband. It’s ironic i told my mom that and she agreed. I then asked her isn’t that what my brother is doing. There is so much i don’t know and I don’t want to know. You know last year when he was saying all these things to me that he should have been talking to my mom about was really a cowards way out . My mother has a way of making us feel feel bad. So he doesn’t want to talk to her because she could make him feel worse. Yet since losing my daddy and age she has mellowed. So then it went to him screaming at her for everything that happened in his life. Sorry for rambling, i am sure i don’t make any sense. My therapist wants me to write a letter to him. No return address and mail it down there. I don’t know. I just want to say how grateful to have all of you. You give me hope and you really understand how i feel. Thank you for listening.

Actually she was just up for Easter. She has actually been with us a lot this year. The month of December after her hospital stay and then January a couple days. February about a week and March about a week while my husband was remodeling her bathroom and putting in a shower. This bathroom had the bathtub filled with sewer water when we returned from the Bahamas last year. I am so grateful that it’s at least clean. He only has to get the base for the shower in and then the plumber comes. No my mother will never leave that farm. She was out in the middle of nowhere for two weeks with just her dog. She wouldn’t come up. My brother lives a farm block away but the relationship is estranged.

Staff, you know we love you. We’ve been on this journey with you for a while. If we don’t hear from you for a while, we sure do worry that you’re ok.

If Lee wants to run himself ragged toting and fetching for Mom, is there really anything you can do? You can only be responsible for what you do. You can’t control Lee any more than you can control his father. Your only option is to send Mom to a facility and sell the farm and we all know that’s not going to happen. When Lee has had enough, hopefully he will say so. But until then, just let him go. Don’t take it upon yourself to try to fix this.

Is she there for a visit or permanently? Can you give more info?