So, I have my mother's cremated remains here. Odd. But ok.

Very brave of you. My mother wishes to be cremated and ashes interred next to her father in a tiny church cemetery. I only hope I will be able to be in touch with someone when the time comes. I am not comfortable with ashes sitting around but that is me.

I so wish I had some clear guidance on what to do with cremains, but a few have left it up to me. Maybe interred in a cremains garden in a church if I can find one.

This is a lovely post.

My dad is on the mantle, next to the dog and the cat he adored. I talk to him daily now, pleading with him to please come get mom because her quality of life is zero and she takes it out on me. They were best friends with a lovely marriage until dementia changed his personality the last few years. I had originally planned on keeping their remains in one box but several family members implored that I 'please give that old man some peace and quiet and get him his own box'!

As for me, my kids know to scatter me over the black sand beaches of Hawaii. No mantle for me!

Moms cremains have been on my piano for over 9 years. Just can’t decide what she would like done with them! But we have taken “her” with to several “putting” from our sisters funeral 😭 to dinner with her sodter...😘. (Sent Her Home with her sister for couple weeks, and her sister put her in a chair by her and talked to her, and watched TV together.,.😘. We even took her to the tailgate party at a NASCAR race, as it was the closest thing to a family reunion we’ve had! 😂.
I think she likes listening to my 10 yo granddaughter play the piano too! (Although haven’t told 10 yo that she’s up there listening to her yet...😉. She’s still getting used to the cat and dogs cremains being around...😜

My mom died almost a year ago, and I still have her remains in a little polished wood box on top of the bookshelf in my bedroom. It has a beautiful photo of her inside the lid so I can see her if I open it, and a few little trinkets of hers inside, along with the ashes. It will stay with me until I die, and she will be buried with me. I like having her there. It is something to hold on to. I think this house would feel empty without her.

I totally understand your post. Take comfort where you can.

Well Segoline my brothers ashes are in my trunk. So I feel you,sister.
I need to arrange a Catholic Requiem Mass for him and he will stay in my trunk until then.
As far as scattering I have to check our state laws first but am hoping to scatter them somewhere they can be fertilizer for a forest or near the Chesapeake Bay, where I live.
He died unexpectedly, no will, never told me what he wanted as he truly thought he would live forever. He would have been 71 7/29.

I am not sentimental about remains. Maybe being a RN for 40 years toughened me up (fortunately or unfortunately....I struggle with this at times because I can be too clinical). I don’t care what happens to me when I die. I want to be buried at sea because I love the ocean and lived and swam in it my entire life. My husband thinks I am nuts.

I am having the Mass because I do believe it must be completed.

I am taking it one day at a time. I am exhausted. Can’t form a thought.

PS: I LOVED Deadwood. I was devastated when it ended. I may re-watch on Netflix.

Good for you both. Stay strong; You are "kinda cool."

So sweet & wonderful for you to have this season of peace & comfort with your mom. I would love to have my daughter's ashes as well as my father's.

Sego, it's good that you are in such a good place with your mom. I hope these months before scattering give you even more closure and maybe repair of the agony you felt in her last weeks. Calm is good.

I know what your mean, Segoline.

I picked up both of my parents ashes - although three years apart. They were in a plain plastic lined sturdy cardboard box that was tastefully wrapped like a gift - in Tiffany blue wrapping paper. My mom would have really liked that. We forwent any fancy containers as they both requested to be scattered half way up the summit of MT. Hood.

Anyhoo - my point. As I was driving my dad home to my house - him sitting in the passenger seat, in his Tiffany blue box beside me - I had to fight the overwhelming urge to put his seatbelt on for him. The same feeling came over me when I picked up my mom.

WEll, my didn't want mom is have a catholic funeral.... Before she got ALZ, she wanted to go back to her original religion. I also cremated her. The father asked if she was going to be in a casket. I said no and he just hoped she wasn't in a christmas box. umm, yes. My everyone basically left right afterwards.. So mom is still will me. I should take her out, but all our family does is bicker.... So, it's not a fun home right now.

It is good that you are getting closure. My dad died almost 5 yrs ago and I don't think I ever got closure. Maybe I should get is ashes out. I don't know...does it really help?

I do talk to him and wrote him a letter but still feel the need for him...maybe that is just how it is going to be...

I can. I have had a long talk with this box of her essence. And I think I needed to.

I have a closure if that is possible. I am not certain I would have otherwise. And I have until fall to tie up loose ends, something I am thankful for. I know how crazy, Bates motelish, it might sound. Nothing of sort. This is actually a beautiful experience for me. And I am thankful for it.

Eta. I should amend to say I am,in the process of closure.,I have been given a gift. I will use it well. I am thankful.

I am sorry about your mom passing. I hope you have some peace in your life and are able to move on with your life.

For now just watch movies with your mom.

Hugs!

I can't explain how oddly comforting it is to have her here. In spirit, box or whatever. I am but a station and i know that. She is seasonally to be scattered in an absolutely beautiful place. But for now, she, or her essence Is here.
And it is a blanket. And I treasure it and welcome it. I will sleep well tonight.

Thank you. Not really sure how this was going to be received.for now, she is here with me. She will have new digs in the fall. We are good. Thank you again.

I think this is a lovely post.

Enjoy watching movies with Mum and covering her 'ears' when there is bad language.