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NeedHelpWithMom Posted November 2019

Caring for a mom, dad, aunt, uncle, cousin or grandparent is hard. How much harder is it to care for a spouse or significant other?

Caring for my mom really did me in. It sucked the life out of me. I am sure this has contributed to my general fear of caregiving nowadays.


From time to time I think about aging with my husband. He is only about six months older than I am.


I have decided that I would like to die first. I have been married 41 years. I can’t bear to think of losing him. I really feel it would be easier for me to die first.


This brings me to a different point. Do any of you feel men cope better or differently with losing their wives than women do with losing their husbands? I know that I shouldn’t generalize and that we are all different but I truly feel that men and women are wired differently.


Your thoughts on this?

NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2019
Dolly,

Yep. I agree with your sentiments. There are exceptions but I am like you. I don’t think I would seek out a serious relationship if my husband dies before me.

What are the stats these days? Don’t women generally outlive men?

anonymous912123 Nov 2019
Men start looking for a replacement once the coffin is closed or at least that is what I have seen. Woman grieve, then grieve some more some finally moving forward, looking for a relationship with a man they think will mirror their deceased husbands, they want a commitment, sometimes they find Mr. Right, most times not. I belong to Road Widows/Road Warriors on FB, women are always posting about wanting commitment & marriage and scaring the men away..I am like...Why? Just date and enjoy the company, they talk like teenagers, no wonder the man exits the scene.

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NeedHelpWithMom Nov 2019
Men tend to remarry faster after a divorce or death much sooner than women. In fact, I’ve known plenty of women who have said, “Once around the track was enough for me!”

The flip side, many men have married in less than six months. My FIL moved his companion in his home three weeks after my MIL died! That’s fast!

Yes, I know not all men do this. A lot more men jump into relationships much sooner.

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