Tomorrow is moving day for my mom!!!

I hope your moms move worked out better than my 86yr old moms did.... My mom choose a lovely studio apartment in a small independent living facility 5 minutes from my home.. a month ago. She had lived with my brother but was feeling isolated from people her own age. He was out of town a lot. We had hoped she would be happier. She takes antidepressant meds for 25 yrs. She no longer drives. Right out of the gate..non stop issues. A woman who could wash a load of clothes every am now can not use the facility washers “too complicated”. She can no longer use the same weekly med box she used at home “ too complicated”. She can not walk on carpets.. food is too salty, boring activities, no one to talk to {80 people milling about}, housekeeper does a lousy job...no one visits...every visit is a put fires out event...now her iphone does not text...she texts that to me! Her hearing aids need a professional cleaning {she did them routinely herself}, her glasses got broken {a pad arm was ripped off} she needed to go eye place...she is throwing clean unworn clothes into the hamper...wants laundry done every 2-3 days by me...loses her stuff yet I find it buried under clothes {wants me to go buy a new item}...I find her laughing at meals with the ladies if she does not know I am popping in...I caught her doing a load of laundry one early am...it would appear she is using passive aggressive behaviors with me..on Sunday she is always a new woman at church...walks steady, happy etc ..I become sure we have turned a corner...not one issue until we get back to her place and it starts after lunch again..I hired a “med nurse” to hand her her am pills...she had a “confused two days and messed up the box and had a possible overdose requiring an all day ER visit....she reports mom to be upbeat, no confusion and happy!!!!!! I have cut my visits back to 3 days per week..but I find me not wanting to go at all.. my brother pops in an hour once in awhile and he is the “perfect” son...such a wonderful “caregiver” per mom! Ps I am her finance person, her set up the medbox person, her meds ordering gal, her MD set up and take to appts girl...her everything person! I think I am just venting...not sure there is a fix for this mess...

Hows it going

Thanks for all of your support. I won't stoop that low and tell him all that she has said to me. Whatever happens to her because of this is between her and God.

The room is finally cleared out and I ordered her recliner and it will get there on Monday. It's not a lift recliner but a power one that she can move the legs up easier and even it reclines. Got it with my discount of 55% from where I work. I tried it out and I like it but it will fit her better because she is shorter than I am.

She just attacks me because she doesn't like what I talk to her mom about. The sil makes it hard to talk to my brother. That is why my brother and I do only e-mail. I don't want to get him upset with her because I don't want to make his life any harder. When my mom dies, then the relationship will be completely over. Unless he wants to have one with my husband and myself. She just assumes way too much. I really didn't hurt my brother's feelings. It was stressful for both of us. Now that we know that she will be well taken care of, it will be less for us to worry about.

Judy; I hope that all went well today. Feel free to vent; that's what we're hear for!

I hope things are going well. I'm not sure what your sister's issue is, but, she sounds misguided. The family member doing the work and handling matters should be thanked and appreciated. Please post an update when you can.

I hope your day is smooth sailing with no huge wave swells, lol.
Keep a positive attitude the entire day and finish getting her settled in.
Even if you feel your blood boiling or find yourself in tears, keep positive. In a day or two you & she will be unpacking and cozying up the space.
The day you’ve worked so hard toward is here. Congratulations & kudos for your hard work & persistence in getting this done.

Best wishes to you and your mom. Your SIL is out of line for attacking you. She is your mom, not hers! Did she step up to take mom in? I doubt it! So keep ignoring her nonsense.

May things go smoothly. Trust in God's help. Remember you are doing your best

Judy, I hope this works out well for all of you.

In what way is your SIL attacking you? Does your brother know what she is writing? He should certainly know about this.