Please share what you feel is the most positive part of growing old.

Dolly,

You are one of my very favorite posters! I adore your independence. Yes, how it came about wasn't ideal for you but you surely did turn things around to work in your favor. Not everyone is able to do that. You should be very proud of that accomplishment.

Oh, please tell me how you liked New Orleans. It's a great city. We're certainly are not 'anywhere USA'. We are unique. Yes, we have our flaws. We have our crime like many metro areas but we have wonderful people, music, food and our history and culture is truly interesting.

NeedHelpWithMom...Yes, I drive the motor home myself, I actually recently down sized to a 25ft rig from a 40ft one. I also tow a car. I belong to a FB group of women Rvers, we meetup for weekend camping events. Last year I drove out West, logged over 7K miles, just me and my dogs! I even stopped in New Orleans, as I usually do when I head West!

My childhood taught me to be self sufficient and independent, possibly to a fault. I was an adult as a child, I had to be as I have an alcoholic for a mother.

An Amtrak trip is also on my bucket list, I hope that we make it!

Daughter,

Awwww, how sweet. It’s true, though. Inhibitions seem to leave for some. I hate seeing the elderly riddled with anxiety!

Yeah, I had some great teachers (nuns) who taught my mom and aunt before teaching me. I loved hearing stories of my mom as a child from them. They didn’t forget a thing! My mom was amazed when I would come home from school and tell her what Sister had remembered.

I took my dad to a funeral and got to talk with one of my favorite teachers from the past. She’s in her mid 90’s now, I asked her how she was doing and she replied “I love life now, I’ve officially reached the age that I can say whatever I want” She gave me a wink and the most impish smile. I think I want to be her as I age...

Dolly,

I have read all of your posts for awhile and I have to say that I love your sense of security. Have you always been like that? You always seem so confident.

I adore your no nonsense approach to life!

I am also jealous. I am in New Orleans. I grew up celebrating Mardi Gras. My favorite costume was a gypsy! I would love to travel around in a motor home. Drive one? No way! I am not a good enough driver for that! Do you drive yours?

My husband and I have done some road trips but he’s a flyer more than a driver. I suppose I like both but I think a person sees more while on the road. I would love to do a train trip. I have never done an Amtrak vacation. Would be fun!

I have planned for my "Old Age", fortunately I am still in good health, able to drive my motor home, and travel anywhere I chose too. For me, all the sacrifices in my younger years have paid off.

Right now, I am comfortable with who I am. I do not expose myself to toxic people or drama. I can walk away from those I do not want to associate with.

Midkid58, re: your cancer journey with your family - I agree with GardenArtist that your family just could not relate to the widespread impact of cancer. The pain, the changes, being defined by your cancer until it ends, the fear, etc. I remember being in my early 30's with little kids, working full time (and then some) having financial stresses while my husband's sweet Meme was dying of pancreatic cancer. She put on a brave face for us, and we only got info 2nd hand from my shallow, self-absorbed MIL. When I think back to how we were not there for her, I cringe and literally feel a physical pain in my heart. Yes, it is true that some people (like your husband) just react in an incomprehensible way to the pain and suffering of others. But some would give anything for a "do-over". Peace to you!

Katie,

Oh so true...

Send,

We do find out our priorities and for believers, faith deepens.

Mid and GA,

Yeah, when our health situation changes it rocks our world. I mean, it really rocks our world! Trivial things mean absolutely nothing and suddenly we realize how short life is.

Time goes by faster as we age. When we were young time seemed to drag. Now, we hear ourselves saying, “Where did the time go?”

I do believe we find out who we mean the most to when there are trials. I also think that some people don’t always know how to respond due to fear, perhaps even reminding them of their own mortality.

Some remain uncertain about the big questions of ‘the afterlife’ and others gain a deeper sense of their original beliefs. I would love to study world religions. Why? Because I truly don’t know exactly what I believe. I hate to admit that but should I lie and say that I do? I think we have to be honest about what we feel. I don’t think it’s wrong to question.

Your "give a crap" factor goes away.

Being closer to the end of my journey is comforting to me.
I am almost there, closer to home. Things do not bother me as much anymore, if I can think it through and wait. I am free to love people more.

Instead of feeling more and more useless to others, I am enjoying having my prayers answered. That is enough.

Feeling good today after putting my foot down to clean and organize our home. I will let you know how my hubs feels after working so hard for 3 hours alongside of me, but after he wakes up from his nap.

Midkid:

" I was incredibly sick for about 6 months and very slowly now recovering, and I realized how little I mean to the people I love most--but this has a happy ending, they are settled and independent enough that they DO NOT need me anymore. Any sense I had that I was an important part of their day-to-day lives was gone. "

I'm going to disagree and suggest that they didn't know how to handle or deal with the cancer.  When my mother and sister were both diagnosed in the same year, I had no idea what to do, how to help them, but learned along the way.  We all did; it was a new (and devastating experience for us.)

My sister was a nurse; she knew more about cancer than I, and I believed her when she told me she was getting better.  It wasn't until she went into respiratory failure and her oncologist called me at work that I had any idea she had reached an end stage.

We had all helped each other along the way, but had I known how close she was to the end, I would have quit my job sooner to take care of her.   And I would have taken action as well to get help for my parents.

MidKid, some day family members may admit to you that they experienced similar uncertainties.   I'm guessing they will.  Really.

Except for the physical aches and pains, which I DO NOT enjoy--I DO enjoy just not caring so much about stupid small things.

Grandchildren are the BEST. Totally worth the years of raising their parents! I have 14 and they are all just the best!!

I had cancer last year and was mildly upset to see how very little it impacted my family. My DH simply shut down with depression and couldn't/wouldn't do anything to help me. I was incredibly sick for about 6 months and very slowly now recovering, and I realized how little I mean to the people I love most--but this has a happy ending, they are settled and independent enough that they DO NOT need me anymore. Any sense I had that I was an important part of their day-to-day lives was gone. And it was OK.

I look at 'stuff' differently. I take care of myself, first and foremost. DH has had to take a backseat to my needs and he has not enjoyed it. Tough. I spent 43 years caring for all the stuff...and now I don't HAVE to anymore.

Tree,

Me too! I stopped coloring my hair and I love the silver streaks as well. I have received lots of complements. I love not dealing with dying my hair anymore.

Kids ask the smartest questions, don't they? Your grandchild sounds extremely curious and smart.

Sunny,

I love what you said about not taking things for granted. I feel the same way.

Well........since you asked for only positive remarks. I, too, have found such joy in my grandchildren. I loved raising my two children, and now I get another opportunity to help raise another generation. The sweetest thing that has ever been said to me came from my 8 year old grandson a couple of years ago. We were making up a bed so he could spend the night, and he asked me, “Nana, will my children know you?”
What a conversation we had with that question! Life, death, Jesus, heaven!

This year I have stopped coloring my hair. There were various reasons for this, but I think I just wanted to be more authentic. Last year, I had someone express surprise at discovering my age. She thought I was in my forties. For some reason, this bothered me. Oddly enough I get more compliments on my hair now then previously. It is only silver around my face - the rest is still very dark, so it’s pretty dramatic.

Geaton, I love what you said about your deepening spiritual walk. I have found this to be true for me also. The apostle, Paul, said, “For now, we see through a glass darkly...........” 1 Corinthians 13:12. As I get older, it’s as if the glass is becoming more clear. The following verse has been encouraging to me as I find my body beginning to have difficulties that I’ve never had before:

”Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” 2 Corinthians 4:16

I often feel like I’m still a kid though, I am technically a senior. Lol I trust myself more and don’t set unrealistic expectations. I accept that I can’t change others and am able to let things go. I’ve learned to care less about what others think and to be content with what I have. I’ve learned to ask, in the scheme of life, just how important is this matter. Often, I let it go, try to breathe and move on. And, the biggest thing I’ve gained is to truly appreciate all of my blessings. I feel grateful everyday for everything, such as family, health, friends, etc. Life is so fragile. I do not take one moment for granted.

That's the kind of liberation I am talking about! Love your answer. There is a confidence and even a healthy 'devil may care' attitude that comes along with getting older. Thanks for this answer.

I like the sleeping comment. I think our bodies find a natural rhythm of how much sleep we need.

I can avoid people who don't mean anything to me; no more bitchy female co-workers to deal with either.    And I can spend my time the way I want to (once I get my father's house settled and sold).   

Best of all, I can sleep in if I want to.   And I frizz my hair since I don't have to work and worry about appearance.   Makeup got thrown away years ago, and for the better since I learned that lipstick contained lead. 

There's a freedom as well as a quiet kind of learning and insight that accompany aging.  I wish I knew years ago what I know now, but that's part of life.

I totally agree that our spiritual life becomes more enriched as we age. The light bulbs go on. For me, anyway. I had a lot more questions in my youth. I have learned to accept more now. I was impatient at times in my youth. I did what I had to do but with great frustration. I did not always roll with the punches.

Geaton,

I am 64. Want to hear something funny? I felt old at 25! I remember when I turned 25 I thought, oh my gosh! I am now a quarter of a century old! hahahaha, The older ladies that I worked with laughed at me hysterically. They had a right to!

My young and stupid days, right? I suppose I was sort of vein. I did not want to age!

Lucky you, being a grandparent. I don't have grandchildren. That would be very special though.

NHWM, ditto to everything you listed, I couldn't have expressed it better! Now that I'm (only) in my early 60's I do *love* when my young adult sons waive off hubs & me as we attempt some physical task (that we are still able to do but our boys can do faster & easier). I love all my well-meaning advice that was poo-pooed by teenaged sons finally being understood as golden tidbits. I love being a grandparent...it's like being a parent and friend rolled into one, and having a special kind of influence with my grandboy. Most of all I love the deepening of my spiritual walk with the Lord that grows exponentially deeper with each passing year.