I reached out for help and now APS is coming for a visit.

Question

So, I was dumb enough to ask the case worker at the hospital during mom's stay last week for resources to help us out while I’m packing moving and looking for a place to move to and I get a call from adult protective services because the hospital made a report to them. The house is in disarray of course because I am sorting and packing and they’re coming by tomorrow to talk to mom and I. Perfect. Just what I needed on top of everything else. Be cautious when seeking help. Best part is the whole thing could’ve been prevented, but mom loves to play games and play the I can’t role when she is capable of doing things. Now, my life is going to be even further disrupted with these people in our business.
I love a parade.
xoxoxo
susan

WilliMartin · Accepted Answer

APS investigations are a very good thing in disguise. Once they see that moms care needs far exceed what you can provide, you will finally get the help that is desperately needed. They are not there to judge, but to help.

NeedHelpWithMom · Answer

This may be a good thing. The timing with moving is unfortunate. I think it’s natural to be uncomfortable because of feeling like you are being scrutinized. You don’t have anything to hide. Try to relax and things should be fine.

Countrymouse · Answer

APS will not turn a hair at the sight of a household that is in disarray because people are moving. Not unless you've packed your mother in a crate, anyway.

You asked for help. Your request has been referred to APS. They are coming to talk to you and your mother about it. What did you want to happen? What did APS say when they called you that has made you worry about their visit?

worriedinCali · Answer

I believe the same thing happened to another poster here, ahmijoy. She reached out for help with her husband and they sent APS.

needtowashhair · Answer

I find it strange that you were reported to APS for asking the case worker for information on resources. I've asked case workers plenty of times for info. Not once was I reported.

mstrbill · Answer

Use it as an opportunity to get the help you need.  Make it clear to them that you can no longer care for Mom by yourself and need help.  Please keep us updated.

Katiekate · Answer

Tell APS you are looking for more resources to help.

ask for referrals to home aides, companion aides.

ask for referrals for free legal aide to help your mom seek restitution.

treat this visit as your opportunity to get on reactors asking for the kind of help Mom needs.

BarbBrooklyn · Answer

APS is a resource.

Ask them for help getting your mom placed in a safe environment.

Ask for their help in getting the person who financially abused mom to make restitution; or at least get in on record that that's where moms money went. You will need that documentation when the time comes for her to go on Medicaid.

Ask for help in disentangling yourself from your mother's drama.

I reached out for help and now APS is coming for a visit.

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