Some people don’t have children because of the cost in raising a child. Do you think it cost more to raise a child or care for an elder?

NeedHelpWithMom, I believe it was costing my parents MORE as they aged. For Dad it was $20k per month, yes per month for 3 shifts of caregivers at his home, and on top of that Dad was paying $12k a month for my Mom being in long-term-care. They had that "rainy day fund" and it was now storming out there.

As a child, life was different in my era. Mom used cloth diapers. Car seats weren't invented but cars were built like steel tanks. The stroller, high chair, crib, twin bed, chest of drawers were 2nd hand [I still use that chest of drawers]. Changing tables weren't invented.

No daycare, either. The neighborhood Moms were watching all the kids. No school tuition, either, it was good old public school. No gymnastics or dance for me. Yep had music lessons and art lesson as I guess my parents thought I would be the next van Cliburn or van Gogh... not. My folks could have saved money on that. College was local, and no fancy named school, as accounting was accounting whether you went to Harvard Business or a small local college.

Plus my parents didn't buy me a car for high school graduation. I got a 3-speed Huffy bicycle [I finally parted with that 50+ years old bike last year]. Heck, hardly any of the teachers in high school owned a car, they took the bus to work. No cellphones, we just yelled across the fence. Personal computers weren't invented, we had the library almost a mile walk from the house.

So, it all depends on the era, and if a child was raised in a shop-until-you-dropped household or a frugal one. My Mom could make clothes last for 30+ years. I am so grateful my folks saved for those rainy days.

After seeing the cost of aging, I am now holding my retirement fund hostage.

Katie,

Yes, many have paid for care for parents. It’s sad.

I'm not sure what one cost more, It's probably pretty close in some situations. Luckley my parents had enough money to pay for dads care in SNF. By 2019 the cost was over ten thousand a month. They had spent over well over three hundred thousand for the couple of years in SNF before he passed in July.

Lkdrymom...

wow you are paying $70,000 a year for your Dad?

The. Question was made...because of the cost of having and raising children, some people don’t have kids. Yeah, because you have to pay for your kids...you don’t pay for your parents.....or do you?

NY,

Every answer that you give is dead on. Yes, I made financial mistakes and deprived myself emotionally which is priceless in my opinion.

Barbj,

I get it. It’s not always about dollars and sense. I have been there as well. I no longer have caregiving responsibilities. I did more than my share. I empathize with everyone still in it.

Hey NeedHelpWithMom. Interesting question.

Having cared for mom with dementia, a disease that is progressive, I can only share a little of my experience. I do jot have children.

She does not learn how to tie her shoes, she forgets day after day. She used to like going out to eat, we don't go anymore because she is fearful. She used to have friwnds that she visited, she doesn't any more because she doesn't remember them.

I don't have friwnds anymore because I work and come right home to relieve the help. I do not take off on vacations, werkends or half days because of the cost of help, her inability to xome along without being fearful and the decline in mobility.

The loss of her quality of life, and mine, is enormous. I am not sure how much of a price I can put on that.

Children, as a rule, grow and prosper. The elderly, at least mine, is about small moments of joy that kewp me getti g theough for another day.

I hope that you get the answers that you are looking for.

I would never quit my job and make caregiving my full-time thing. The risks are just too great and not just for me but for my husband and my FIL. If I get sick or injured or worse yet, die, then what? Employment is not just for a paycheck. It's for sanity and personal fulfillment. My FIL may well live to 100. I can't afford not to work for 12+ years. When he dies, I don't know if there will be any money left for my husband and BILs to inherit. I just can't take that chance that nothing is left, and I'm left old and penniless with no job prospects. In my opinion, risking one's financial wellbeing is okay when one is 20 or 30 something if children are not involved. After 40, it's risky regardless if children are involved. After 50, it's just plain insanity.

kbuser,

It’s a game changer when we stop working. It truly is a major sacrifice.

Tothill & needhelpwithmom,

Same situation here, I quit my job to care for my mom with Parkinson's but still have to pay respite nurses and try to make ends meet having 2 people living on one social security check.
Having to learn to live frugal and find aid wherever I can

Tothill,

I did that. When mom’s Parkinson’s disease progressed I quit working to stay home with mom. That nearly killed me. I was so used to waking up in the morning and going to work. I missed working, not to mention missing the paycheck.

Mountain Moose,

I have not reviewed the source of your information, so I do not know if this is addressed.

After age 11/12, there are no more child care costs, allowing both parents to work. On this site a great many people have given up their job to care for a parent. I believe if you factor in the lost wages for care giving, compared to the daycare costs for the first 11 years, the cost of care giving a senior is much higher than raising a child.

Thanks, everyone.

I think it’s an individual thing the more I think about it. Kids costs a lot! Getting old is costly too! I think it depends on the care an elderly person needs and for how long. The same with raising kids with special needs. It costs more.

Based on numbers alone, kids are more expensive. In 2015, about $13,000 per year per child in a middle-income family (Source: USDA, 2015).

For elders, an average of $7,000 is spent annually on care in their home by a caregiver (Source: AARP, 2018).

But the thing is, people should be planning for their elder care, though many don't or can't, or they may have other assets to help pay for their care. Medicare or care insurance may also help. For kids, parents are nearly solely responsible for expenses.

I think it is children. 18 years+.
paying for everything, and probably continue with health insurance till 26, and college.

with the elderly parents...even if they didn’t save for the end, they have Medicaid to fall back on. You shouldn’t be paying anything for them!

I think the cost with parents is the emotional toll....children grow up, parents will only continue to decline.

College tuition for my daughter was $35,000 a year an it ended after 4 years. My father is in assisted living and that is around $70,000 a year and there is no end in sight. So my vote is the elderly are more expensive to care for.