On edge. It’s been a rough quarantine...

Question

Mom fell & broke her hip & thigh mid May. Survived the surgery & I was able to get her HMO to send her to a rehab of my choice in another county. That was a win. They paid 4 weeks. The 1st day I hurt my knee, laid up 2 weeks, my spouse got stomach virus, lasted 5 days after my knee. Still a win, sorry but it was a break & the facility had no Covid. I visited by window every 4 days. My niece worked on the same campus & stopped in every day she worked. Life was good. I was about to private pay for an additional 4 weeks when an employee tested positive for Covid. I couldn’t let her stay in good conscience. Plus she did therapy & was almost back to baseline physically. We brought her back to her house. She was fine 2 days & diarrhea started. 4-5 times a night from 10pm til 9am. Weird right? Took her to hospital on day 3. They kept her 2 days no diagnosis even though I told them I suspected C-diff. Her stools were never watery enough for the test until 4 hrs from discharge. I pulled up & got an alert she tested positive & they would send her home with antibiotics. 14 days of them many nights still diarrhea, no sleep, what a mess. 3 days from end of diarrhea, bed bugs in her room! Poop & bugs both things I can’t/don’t want to deal with. Bed bugs at my house? Tech said can’t really tell til they get bigger. Great. Treatment at her house today, need to wait 24hrs to put it back together, it’s a mess. Her C-diff returned last night. Mess on my floor, mess on my new bathroom floor, mess on my recliners. Oh yesterday before C-diff came back, we took a walk down my driveway. She said I want to sit awhile, I said ok it’s just 20 feet to the door. She laughed & said “no now” plopped her self into an imaginary chair! I had her by her left side but I wasn’t strong enough to keep her up. She slipped to the right & twisted her ankle. So diarrhea, & wobbling. I’m sorry I know a lot if ya here have it worse but I’m so tired & I'm thinking I just don’t want to do this anymore. I’m just defeated & needed to vent. I’d private pay for respite so they can take care of C-diff but that’s where she got it, plus Covid, & bed bugs probably came from there too. My WIN doesn’t feel like a win anymore. Those 4 weeks off are costing me my sanity.

Momshelp · Accepted Answer

Thanks for taking the time Midkid58, I’ve been following your cancer journey, mostly from Dorkers saga. Glad you’re on the recovery side. This forum is a great place to be reminded to count our blessings, when we see others problems. You said, husband, smelly, messy & noisy & im thinking that for today, I can deal. We all help each other, sometimes without intending too. I will ask doctor today, I’m thinking 90yrs old might be a problem but what do I know. Your SIL sure has timing!

Midkid58 · Answer

My SIL is a gastroenterologist and the fecal transplants is something he said is a "game changer' for a lot of people.

It's still not widely used, though. while he was in med school he brought it up (at a family dinner, of course)--but he was so excited to see this tx being used and finding some great results.

I'd ask about it. I don't know enough to know if age is an issue with this or not. Likely, it's a financial thing--being fairly new.

I'm sorry about your lousy 'quarantine'. I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself b/c DH has been HOME for months and he is messy, smelly and noisy! I can leave, so I shouldn't complain :) I'm recovering from cancer and still tired and need my quiet--can't get it with him bugging me. But I'd take that over having a sick mom right now!

The antibiotics set up their own set of problems--don't they? But do ask mom's doc about the fecal transplant.

Momshelp · Answer

So moms house was heat treated & it seems the bed bugs died. I’m still vacuuming everything daily. I have bags & bags of clothes to wash & dry or just dry. Haven’t found any at my house & we’re still staying here for now. Also vacuum, vacuum, vacuum. Worse thing is mom just started her 3rd bout of C-diff. The antibiotic stops the runs somewhere around the 5th day & she’s got normalish poop for about 10 days & then here we go again. Going to try phone appt in the morning to get a 3rd round of antibiotic I guess. I don’t think they’d offer the fecal transplant to a 90yr old after only 3 bouts but who knows. It’s all just been so tiring & feels never ending. I’d see if the snf would take her for this bout but I doubt they’d take in a c-diff patient & putting Covid aside, she most likely got the bed bugs there. Now I’ll be wary of all the snf. The exterminator said they see cases a lot of people getting out of rehab with them. It’s all so frustrating. Thanks for the support, good to know there’s a place to rant, seek advice & sometimes even laugh.

Geaton777 · Answer

Momshelp, thanks for the update! You were not naive! This is how most people come up against the realities of caring for an aging parent. It is often sudden, leaving people running around with their hair on fire trying to figure out what to do first and then in the process getting ground down emotionally, physically and sometimes financially.

Regarding the fecal transplant report, I believe it was 60 Minutes, like Alva referenced, not PBS. I wish you all the best moving forward!

Momshelp · Answer

Thanks everyone, I got her house heat treated with a 1 yr guarantee. They were definitely in her house. My house The tech said he saw no evidence but if we’ve been going back & forth unaware, chances are they are just too small to find yet. The C-diff was definitely from antibiotics & I have also read some people never recover. This is just so exhausting. Grateful for the support here. I’m going to look into the dog to sniff out bugs, never heard of that. Tomorrow phone appt with her primary & we’ll see what she advises. Last round mom stopped eating, this time she’s still eating but I’m limiting her to the BRAT diet anyway. It was 6 times last night & already 3 times today. Tomorrow my sister will go with my spouse to vacuum & put moms house back together. She’s rather do that then watch mom with diarrhea. I’m grateful she does anything. I’m scared to bring caregivers back because of Covid. I’ll keep plugging along wishing for what I thought were the hard days in March & April! Boy was I naive. Thanks again everyone, stay healthy.

Sunnygirl1 · Answer

Oh, man! That's rough Momshelp. We've never dealt with C-diff before, but, I've read about it. What will you do? It sounds like a whole lot of stress. Covid and bed bugs in the same sentence is pretty horrifying. Good luck with both. It's a day by day thing.  I hope things improve for you and your family.

Geaton777 · Answer

To Alva's point about fecal transplants:  I just this week watched a (Nova?) show on PBS about fecal transplants. They highlighted a women (probably in her late 50's, early 60's) who had C-diff and just couldn't get rid of it. Finally she was authorized by her physician for a transplant which involved swallowing 30 frozen capsules containing the fecal matter. She said in about 48 hours she was already improving. They also interviewed doctors and researchers who confirmed that there is absolutely NO clinical evidence that probiotics help at all. In fact, they were worried about people using them because they are new and there are no long-term studies that may show negative long-term impacts of using them so casually. Also, they are not regulated by the FDA, so "caviat emptor" (buyer, beware).

Geaton777 · Answer

I'm so sorry for this well-meaning disaster. You are not alone in having a caregiving dumpster fire. Not saying this flippantly, but you need help and soon. Are you able to consider some in-home help from an agency? Even a few hours a day can make a difference. Also, my personal experience with bedbugs was  finding what I thought was bedbug poo (black dots) along the underside of my mom's mattress. She also had some very itchy bites. I hired a specially trained dog to sniff them out. We didn't have them thankfully but it was nice to confirm it. I hope your poor mom (and you) can get relief from her diarrhea!

AlvaDeer · Answer

The C Diff is likely from antibiotics given in the hospital. Antibiotics wipe out intestinal flora, both the bad and the good protective. It has been known for some time that probiotics do little to restore a good digestive flora. Honestly, poop transplants are about all that works. I am assuming that the stool for C Diff was sent, came back positive and Mom is being treated for that. As to bedbugs, watch the BED itself, check along the seams on the side of the bed. Black spots are indicative of bedbug poop.
I honestly think that at this point you are going to ruin your health attempting to take care of your Mom with all the awful problems you, yourself, are going through. I am so sorry. The decisions faced at this time are awful.

On edge. It’s been a rough quarantine...

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