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Lvnsm1826 Posted October 2020

What are your caregiving tips?

One thing I have learned while caregiving, is not to expect a lot.
For instance, if I do this and that, they will be happy. Nope. This expectation just leads to resentment.


Once in a while, my dad appreciates, while other times, he doesn't.


What are your tips for other people? 🙂

misty1031 Oct 2020
I can definitely relate to feeling unappreciated. I blame some of it on my Mom's dementia but I believe there true personalities come out with this illness. For me I had put my mother on a pedestal and wasn't aware of it until I had to move her in with me. Because of this it was super hard when she didn't live up to my expectations of her which wasn't fair. She's sometimes more appreciative of the support that comes from one particular sibling that does for and come around only when it's convenient for her. It's hard but I try really hard not to take things personal. You know how much you help out and I believe he is appreciative of what you do he just forgets to tell you at times. Aging is not a pretty thing and I pray that one of my children will go the extra mile for me once I reach that point in my life just like you.

sjplegacy Oct 2020
Caregiving is such an individual experience that a helpful tip from one person may not help another at all. I think there are some universal tips that can always be applied.
1. Know your caregiving limits. If you get to the point of burnout, hopelessness, anger, you've gone too far in your caregiving. It does your LO and yourself no good in continuing under these circumstances. Seek help either at home or a care facility.
2. You can't do it alone. There comes a time in a caregivers life that the job is more than they can handle. Before it gets to that point, reach out for help to care agencies.
3. There is no Users Manual. Caregiving is all OJT. Because all caregiving experiences are different, no one can tell you what's next. You have to be willing to adapt, create, empathize, forgive, etc., etc., etc.
4. Expect the unexpected. Don't anticipate your LOs behavior.
5. Become educated in your LOs disease. Becoming educated thru books, videos, online sites and support groups is as close to a users manual as you will get.

Every LO's disease is different and every caregiver's experience is different. Play the cards you're dealt and be willing to say, "I give up, I can't do this anymore".

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NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2020
I think you answered your own question. You seem to know his personality. Some people aren’t grateful. Has he always been that way?

I would say only do what you feel comfortable doing. You can’t change his behavior.

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