Mostly I am grateful to be caring for my mother. I feel like she and I are getting time to heal our relationship before she passes. This is the longest I have ever seen her go without a drink. However it is like she is a little drunk since her mind isn’t right from the hepatic encephalopathy. Sometimes she demands things that are ridiculous in the middle of the night because she doesn’t sleep at night. I’m exhausted. My savings is dwindling- trying to get paperwork through to be paid. I am mostly forgiving of the past but sometimes when she is demanding things of me at 2:00 am, like smoke and cook her a meal she won’t eat, I can’t help but feel transported to childhood where the world revolved her around drinking at 2:00 am. I’m curious how others manage their feelings caregiving after a traumatic childhood. I’m also just in search of people’s stories caregiving for a family member with ESLD in general. Thank you all.
I grew up during a ‘hush hush’ era where addiction wasn’t ever mentioned. Personal matters were kept very quiet.
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It’s a bumpy road. Isn’t it? I took care of my brother with HepC. He died in an end of life hospice facility.
I too had a difficult childhood due to his heroin addiction. Back then there was no education for parents or kids on drugs.
Sadly, at that time my brother caved into peer pressure when his best friend asked him to try heroin with him.
By the way, his best friend was from a very good family. My parents never even drank alcohol! So we should not automatically blame the parents for their behavior.
Liver disease is awful and there was no cure for HepatitisC then. Now there is which is wonderful.
I don’t know your particular situation and you don’t have to share. You speak about healing. My brother and I were fortunate to have healing towards the end.
We certainly had many ups and downs along the way. At certain points I simply had to walk away to keep my sanity.
My brother was remorseful later in his life which helped me to completely forgive him. Addiction is an illness. I understand this. That took away some of the sting of the hell that our family experienced.
I have enormous compassion for addicts and the family members that endure pain due to the repercussions of addiction, whether it is from alcohol or heroin like my brother.
I am so very sorry that you are struggling with this situation. It’s tough. I was the last person with my brother before he died.
Take care.