Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
G
GingerMay Posted March 2021

Anyone else feel guilty to get the covid vaccine when your spouse has not yet been contacted to schedule it?

I am not sure where this question belongs and I searched the forum, but could not find anything related. My husband and I have been on our local government "wait list" for the vaccine since they created it. We were not in the high priority groups, so have been waiting our turn and staying safe. Our age group just became eligible this week.
Much to my total amazement, I saw a notice for me to schedule my vaccine a few days ago. I was overwhelmed with utter joy and shock that I cannot even describe. I excitedly ran over to my husband assuming he would also have a similar notice, but we soon realized he had not yet been selected to make his appointment. The air went out of the room. Suddenly it felt like there was a huge ocean between us. Has anyone experienced similar? How are you handling it?
After going through a year of this together, how do you just take that leap? It seems so random. I would have actually preferred to give my appointment to him, but that is not an option. Unless I missed it somewhere, I do not hear anyone talking about this aspect. I feel like I am abandoning him. Honestly, I felt so horrible about it, I spent the following days making it my mission to locate an appointment for him via another channel. I just could not do this without him.

Midkid58 Mar 2021
My DH was 'chosen' and I jumped on the internet and scheduled him for a shot IMMEDIATELY. He's a live transplant patient and has been traveling for work--after that first shot, I felt so much better.

My oncologist's office called me when my turn came--I wasn't even aware that I was going to be qualified--they knew and jumped the gun with calling pts and scheduling. I have my 2nd one next week. The relief was boundless.

I figured DH and I would be months apart, and now we're just a week apart. In a few more weeks we can go see grandkids!

I was actually happier for DH than for me. He was so high risk and so 'careless' it was a real serious stress to me.

EmeraldKitty Mar 2021
I'm glad I was able to get it. My husband was very happy that one of us has qualified. But I do feel a little guilty because he is the one with underlying health issues and just shy of the age requirement by a couple of years. I was able to get it because my state opened it up a bit more based on occupation. When we enter the next phase he will be eligible.

ADVERTISEMENT


freqflyer Mar 2021
Both my sig-other and I had been on a State/County waiting list. Out of the blue I got an email from the hospital where I use to do volunteer work [the hospital shut down the volunteer office due to covid]. I was able to set up an appointment only for myself a couple days later. This coming week I will get my 2nd shot.

I had no guilt but boy was sig-other jealous, like a whiny child who didn't get a cookie when others did :P Hey, I've been doing volunteer work there for about 30 years, I earned it !!

Couple weeks later sig-other finally got a note from the State/County to schedule and he took the first slot he could get. Whew, glad the whining stop.... wait?.... what? He had side effects from the shot that lasted about three days, but it felt like a life time.... [sigh]

Actually I think it is better that couples do not get shots at the same time. That way if there is a slight chance one gets side effects, the other spouse/sig-other can take care of that person.

lkdrymom Mar 2021
I’m 53 and my husband is 72. I managed to get both shots while he still does not have an appointment. I do not feel guilty

SGeorge24 Mar 2021
I've been looking after my mom. Her clinic called and said her doctor had selected her to be one of the first to get the vaccination. After a couple of weeks they called and said I could get mine. We didn't both get them at the same time but we did get them so it will really help should we get exposed. Do I feel bad about getting mine before others in my age group? No, I don't. How much could I do for my mom if I got sick? You are actually helping your husband by getting yours now, his name will come up shortly. You can't give your appointment to somebody else because there are lots of other factors besides age, they also consider things like health condition, occupation, etc. If you give up your spot, it may take a month or more until your name comes back up, then neither of you would have it.

BarbBrooklyn Mar 2021
Contact the vaccine site and find out why he wasn't included.

Just bring him along to your appointment and say that there was an error in not scheduling him.

cwillie Mar 2021
If this was reversed wouldn't you be thrilled he had the opportunity?

MJ1929 Mar 2021
Do you get a tetanus shot only at the same time as your husband does?

It is what it is. Get your shot, and I'm sure your husband's number will come up very soon as well.

GingerMay Mar 2021
Very wise AlvaDeer. And, I do agree with you. Thanks.

AlvaDeer Mar 2021
You need to look at it this way. Your being vaccinated protects you and many many others, including your husband.Whomever can get it should get it and get it as quickly as they can. Look on it as protecting others as well as yourself.

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter