For over five years we did not have sex anymore due to health condition of my 95 year old wife. I am 91 and sexual active. Becoming the caregiver turned out to be rewarding even though I had to learn how to deal with this. I do not believe to be the only one in this situation.
Totally get it. I’m 24/7 caregiver to hubby and stroke took a lot of his common sense and manners. He doesn’t understand that I really don’t think it’s appropriate for him to grab me in certain places as I wipe his backside from an BM. I have told him LOTS in all the ways possible to stop. He just laughs. It takes all my strength to not react physically and violently.
There are many women on this forum that after caring for a husband all day, especially those suffering from Dementia, the last thing they are looking for is sex. Being in my 70s, I am very aware that males have problems as they age, more than not. So surprising that a 91 can still fully participate and if so, good for him.
Seems something has changed in this post that was there in July when originally posted. As you read, this was thought to be a Troll. Also note the person posted this 1x. Seems may have replied to one post but with 4k of responses hard to tell. So a Troll they probably were.
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Wow, still got the urge at 91, gives me hope. I’m only 48, hubby had stroke 10yrs ago. Stroke was the end of our frisky nights. At the age of 38 yrs how frisky are most people? I heard tell women hit their (cough cough) overdrive later than men. Got to say it’s not been easy. Matter of fact it’s been down right hard and very lonely. Physical touch is just as important as food and water. Good chance hubby going to live another 5 to 10 yrs. So I could be 58 yrs old. I’m not ashamed to ask myself will I have any frisky in me at that time.
Got to say the way the subject (sex) was express was a little shocking at first but then I started laughing. On this forum we talk about any imaginable form of embarrassing body act, body fluids/waste, medical procedures, the beauty and pain of death, watching our love one’s waste away in misery but we can’t talk about the one act that was vital to us being a live…sex? Just because a spouse is no longer able does that mean the co-spouse is automatically shut down too? Sex is as natural as birth and death.
So on this forum we give advice on our so important and vital self-care and “me” time why not “date night”? I mean with taste and tack that is.
I will never cheat on my hubby and I do not suggest it. I do believe in decorum and respect even in the most natural and sensitive of subjects. I probably would of asked for the OP to reach out to me privately so we could discuss without concern for softening our word choices or having to be vague.
This forum is mostly women. And after caring all day for a spouse, I think sex is the last thing they want. A good nights sleep YES! A vacation from caregiving YES!
your sexual needs.
I'm glad you've found a solution to your, uh, issue, but I'd wager any 13-year-old boy knows about Mr. Hand and His Gang o' Five.
Have a great day!
TMI
Sorry, call me suspicious, but I have trouble believing in the legitimacy of your story. And yeah, in this response I'm being a little judgmental.
Do you honestly expect a 95 year old to give you sex??? And you are 'sexual active' at 91 meaning what? You're out looking for partners for the past 5 years you've been a caregiver b/c your wife isn't healthy enough to satisfy you? Is that the point of this post? And you are now looking for others in 'the same boat' as you to validate your position? Is this how you are "sharing your experiences on how to deal with sex for married caregivers?"
There are MANY ways to deal with sex for married caregivers, let me tell you.