I'm exhausted taking care of my mom. My sister's have a great life while they watch me over here completely taken care of someone who is 90 years old with no vision or hearing. I'm so bitter right now. I love my mom so much but I guarantee you she would never have done this for her own mother. She traveled the world. She would never have given up any amount of her life to take care of her mother. I feel like she believes that I am honored to take care of her. I just feel awful. I don't know how people do this
Why are you doing this and who's benefiting from the living arrangement?? Both you and mom have to be benefiting or its simply not working for either one of you. Mom can think you're "honored" to be caring for her, but that's her delusion and not the truth. The truth is, you're burned out, stressed out, angry and resentful at this situation. So what are you going to do to fix it?
Based on my childhood, I vowed never to take my mother in to live with me, or to do any hands on caregiving for her. I kept my word and she lived with dad in independent living, then Assisted Living and after dad died, Memory Care for 3 years before she died at 95 in Feb. I was able to preserve my relationship with her by keeping her at arms distance, and not subjecting myself to the hands on caregiving situation I knew would drive me crazy. It was hard enough to manage her entire life, finances and medical issues all by myself as it was.
Do whatever it takes to save YOUR sanity now and don't perpetuate this madness any longer. If mom is that tone deaf to think you're so honored to be caring for her, then she's blind to your true state of mind here and that leaves you vulnerable to breaking down. Compassion fatigue is a real thing, Google it.
Best of luck taking your life back.
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