No question here.
Just news, that after weeks of decline, my mother passed away this past Wednesday. Having been a caregiver for more then 10 years, I am sad that I found this forum so late in the process.
Most of you who post are so much more articulate and experienced than I, but hind sight is 20/20. What has been obvious to me:
Increased confusion can be caused by many things -UTI, Potassium, thyroid, etc. Don’t assume it is a natural decline. My mom did have more days because we identified issues that could be corrected.
Call hospice in early- they were incredible in these last days, but I (and mom ) could have benefited from their expertise much sooner had I known.
No matter how much love and care you give your LO you will second guess. You cannot know what would have happened had you taken a different path. (That is what I keep telling myself).
At least for me, I was exhausted, frustrated, felt used, cheated of life etc…but.the moment she took her last breath, I wished I had it all back. My heart is broken.
So, I am officially not a caregiver now. I have my life back but have lost my mother. The grief is much worse than the caregiving burden.
Thanks to all that directed me and provided sound and real solutions for each step of the way. It made my journey more effective and made my mom’s life more comfortable.
What a precious gift you have been.
God bless!
what a nice post you have written. A gift you have passed on… I too wish I had found this forum earlier. My mom passed in May.
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Hugs!
I surely do hope that you stay on the Forum. We so need your voice in answering others who are amidst the trauma of caring for loved ones. Please stay and please answer, or take the time you need in healing and return to us.
I came to Forum when my brother was diagnosed with Lewy's, and he is now gone over a year and one half. When I came here I was traumatized and confused, and very anxious. The support here so helped me, and I have never left. We need YOU!
Again, my condolences, and thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.
You write very articulately, and I think your insights and the experience you share can be very helpful to your fellow caregivers. Please consider continuing to read and post on this Forum once you are feeling up to it. A lot of posters here, myself included, are no longer, or not currently, caregivers but are still involved. And many of us are aging ourselves so find it helpful to still "hang around" here.
You did a GREAT job caring for her so please don't ever second guess yourself. You did the very best you could and that is all any of us can do.
May God bless you and keep you as you go forward in the days, weeks and months ahead without your mom.
May you benefit while moving forward from your precious memories.
Love and Peace from Ann.
May The Lord give you grieving mercies, strength and peace for this new season.
You were a blessing to your mom and you gave her life quality, remember this when you are second guessing your actions. Which you shouldn't IMO.
Great big warm hug!
Please stay and lend your hard won insights to others on this journey.
((((Hugs)))).
You did all you could. Just this afternoon I was saying to my hubs that everybody needs a person in their life who they can trust and depend on when times get tough. I said I am glad that I was that for my mom. Be happy that you were that for yours.
“I have my life back but have lost my mother. The grief is much worse than the caregiving burden.”
Take care and thank you for sharing.
Take time and care for yourself
(((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))
Prayers and Blessings