Today in dementia land.

My husband has looked at me and asked how long I’ve worked here. I’m his caregiver at home and he was walking all over and now can’t stand at all. Everything happens so fast.

I'm sorry that your mom is losing hospice, CX. I am sure it is hard to see your mom hating her life and nothing interests her. Hugs.

I have a Facebook Friend now who is going through this. Soooo loyal and loving with her Mom all of her life, and now her Mom doesn't recognize her most days. Nevertheless she is there, taking her the quilts they did together and loving on her. A big day on those days she knows her daughter. It is heartbreaking, but it happens, and as you say, CX, no matter we know this, it is a punch in the gut.
Thanks for your update and I am SO sorry that your Mom is being removed from Hospice.
I love that--the surprise twin.

I got a call this week from hospice. My mother has been stable and even gaining weight. So, after a little over a year and a half, they have to discharge her.

Mom qualified for hospice because she was seriously underweight, and was barely eating. Now, she forgets that she has just eaten, and asks for 3rd break, 2nd lunch, snack after snack…you get the idea.

Her brain may be wasting away from the dementia , but her body keeps on ticking. Today, she walked a lap with me around the circle that makes up the Memory Care rooms. She hasn’t done that in months.

In my opinion, all of this is NOT good news. She hates her life, can’t remember anything longer than 30 seconds, and has zero interest in anything usually, other than laying in bed.

Music makes her angry. Tv holds no interest. She can’t follow anything on a screen. No interest in puzzles, coloring, folding towels, etc, or any of the myriad activities offered by the MC. Nor, anything that we all suggest on this site. Doesn’t like looking at pictures, etc.

It’s a miserable life for her. She knows there is something wrong, but can’t understand when I tell the truth, or fib, or any answer at all.

Just venting, guess.

I think she may out live me.

Big. Darn. Sigh.

I feel for you, going through this time with your mom. I am going through same with my mom. I too find comfort on this forum just knowing we are in the same boat. We can take heart knowing that even if mom doesn't know you, or your name, or doesn't remember what you say.... she will always remember how you make her feel. Keeping mom safe, dry, warm, and loved. At this point that is our job and that's all we can do. I wish you well.

I’m so sorry that you are going through this difficult time.

Yep, I understand. I said the same thing when my Mom didn't know who I was... A punch in the gut.

She slips in between knowing I'm her daughter and not. sometimes it can happen moment to moment. I just roll with it and introduce myself to her (usually without reference of her being my Mom)
The funny part was once when I was talking about my Dad and a little note of jealousy crept in and she asked me how I knew so much about him, lol.
I just said that I had known him for years and went on with life.
When she doesn't know who I am, she still knows that she's safe and taken care of. That's all I can ask for.

It sure is weird. I go and visit a completely different person, living in my mother’s body.

Her MC sends pictures when I’m not there. They have no idea that the eyes that show such fear and befuddlement were not the eyes that looked back at me for 57 years.

This will be her third Christmas, since her brain has kept her from living in the real world. I go from my house, where things go on as usual, to visiting a stranger. One that I can’t really even have a real conversation with. Lord, have mercy on us both.

This sure is a ride! 🥺

sending you a hug 🤗

This is my biggest fear. I can't even begin to imagine how you felt. Big hugs and Positive thoughts your way.

Madison,

Yessss. Reading others' experiences makes us feel not so alone.

Without this site, I would have thought that I was completely nuts. The experience of a LO turning into a totally different person has us questioning all we ever knew about our relationship with them.

It's wackadoodle!

Big hug to you, so many of us here have been through this.
Venting as you say you just did , helps me as I read posts from people who feel as I do.

Also sending you a bubble bath & nice glass of wine ( or tea)

My granny forgot who anybody was but, she responded to the love shown and in the end, that was all that mattered.

Disappearring from someone's memory is very heartbreaking. I am sorry your mom has reached this point.

Thanks, everyone. I knew that those of you also walking through Dementia Land would understand.

I'm so sorry. Yes, it does suck.

A big hug and a wish for peace….

So, so sorry. Just sending hugs. It is almost impossible to explain the sadness that comes with these ‘milestones’ of the illness. Wishing you strength and some peace.

102. Please, Dear God, no. I can’t take 20 more years of this.

Oh, sorry to hear that .... I thought mom felt joyful when you told her what you did. :( I hate dementia with every ounce of my being, I really do. Especially when they hang on and ON for so very long, suffering. My "Uncle" George will be 102 in Dec, is dealing with dementia now, wasting away to <100 lbs, and now has Covid. It's horrible how some just hang on like they do. Sending you a hug and prayer for peace, my friend.

I sure wish it was joy that she experienced. She is still aware that she doesn’t remember significant things, if that makes any sense at all.

She looked more horrified that she didn’t remember what I was telling her.

I hate this day.

Thanks for letting me vent.

I'm sorry for this day & this turn of events, Colleen. Although you may have known it was coming, it's STILL a punch to the gut, for sure. I didn't quite get there with mom; she'd look confused when she saw me, like she didn't know who I was, but then the dazed look would lift and she'd smile. But I know the day WOULD have come when she didn't recognize me; she already didn't recognize my husband and thought my grandson was my SON. It's terrible, what dementia strips from a person.

But the upside here (if there IS an upside), is that you caused your mother joy today when you told her the story of how you were her surprise twin daughter, 59 years ago. They're like children again themselves, with that look of awe and wonder in their eyes, when they're told a 'new' story they've 'never heard' before.

God bless you and give you the strength & courage you need to withstand this storm known as dementia your dear mom is suffering.