Anyone's dog suffering as a result of caring for someone with this disease?

@JoAnn29

I actually managed to speak woth Medicare and She can get Medicare part A and B, but unlike a citizen, or someone with the required work history, she has to pay in full for the premium. So right now, her max Healthcare cost for the year if she sticks in network is $750 through the marketplace. Next year Medicare would have a base price of around $10,000 just for the premiums and deductibles.

Medicaid is hugely confusing because so many places say you are eligible after 5 years, but if you dig deeper, you actually aren't if sponsored by a family member. And states have some leeway about how to approach Medicaid.

Your dog is trying to alert YOU to the fact you're in over your head trying to care for an Elder with THIS level of aggression with dementia. I'd keep trying the different calming meds like Ativan until you hit on a winning dose, where she's not attacking you physically in any way. That's not acceptable for anyone living in your home. Your dog can easily bite the woman and then have to be put down for aggression which is very unfair to the dog. Not to mention all of you who have agreed to take mom in and care for her for 5 YEARS, without insurance, until such time as the US government kicks in with benefits.

Separate the dog and medicate mom. She's better off a bit TOO calm than she is at this level of unmanageable behavior. I'd get her seen by a geriatric psychiatrist for an evaluation and medication recommendations.

Best of luck to you.

I think you mean Mom has 5 yrs before she can get Medicaid. She can't receive Medicare if she or a spouse never worked in the US. Our Social Security and Medicare goes hand in hand. You have to work at least 10 yrs (40 qtrs) to receive either.

This is really a terrible burden for your dog, and if you are going to continue to care for your mother in home I would consider rehoming the dog, especially if there is any family nearby who loves the animal. Especially with the gene set of a shepherd you are taking a risk that the dog will perceive some risk to you (which in fact DOES exist) and there could be an attack. As you can imagine this would endanger your dog to the necessity of having attacked a human; most vets would then recommend putting a dog down. This would also be/could also be a serious outcome of injury to an elder.
I love dogs, and have for many years had my own and do rescue work to this day, even at 80. I have seen dreadful accidents by well meaning dogs. In one case a dog in a dogbed at the top of the stairs, his child playing with a neighbor child rushing up the stairs. His child fell over the dog on the bed and the dog tolerated this but when the neighbor child playfully jumped on the first child's back, the dog felt his boy was under attack, and bit the face of the visiting child.
This should be taken very seriously for the sake of all and I am so dreadfully sorry for it.

I also want to add that my dog alerted us on 2 occasions that my mom was in danger : when she tried to get out of the house at night before we knew to anticipate that behavior, and once when she fell out of bed at night.

Trying my best with the meds but she has poor responses to most of them. She's a legally present immigrant so no public benefits and a 5 year wait for Medicare. Funds are limited so I am doing everything I can to survive this. My dog and the cup of coffee my husband brings me in the morning are the 2 bright things in my life! As mentioned, we are keeping them apart. Right now, my dog is the more rational of the 2!

I rescued a greyhound. At first, my dog was afraid of mom’s walker. Mom had Parkinson’s disease and dementia. My dog became use to her walker. They developed a very strong bond and mom would say that she and the dog were growing old together. It was extremely sweet. My dog looked out for my mom. They were inseparable. It broke my mother’s heart when our dog had to be put down.

I do feel that dogs have emotions. They can express empathy like our dog did. They can also have anxiety. My daughter had a dog that experienced anxiety from an old boyfriend who mistreated him.

It’s sad that dogs become fearful. It’s understandable that they react to their surroundings.

I would speak with your vet and also consider speaking with an animal behaviorist. They may be helpful in giving advice on what is best for your dog at this time.

Wishing you and your family (including your sweet dog) all the very best.

Its time to have Mom placed in Memory Care if she can afford it or in a nice Long-term care facility with Medicaid helping to pay for her care. Mom should be on Medication.* LB is the more violent of the Dementias. I know your Shepherd is your baby, but if he/she thinks your in danger, he/she may attack Mom. Please, don't think it won't happen. They are Police and Military dogs for a reason. (By the way, I love Shepherds. Aunt always had 1 or 2)

*Yes Meds could make her a zombie, of sorts. My daughter, an RN who worked NHs for 20 yrs, says its like quality over quanity. You don't want her violent either. And it takes hit and miss with meds before the right "cocktail" is found. Its not good for Mom to be this way either.

You have to wonder what your mom is doing to the dog to make it shake in fear whenever mom is around. Please keep the dog with you. It is the right thing to do.

Yes. My mom's dog doesn't want to be near her anymore, she wants to stay in our area of the house. She shakes if we try to put her over there when mom isn't asleep. It's heartbreaking! Mom is also sad that her dog doesn't like her anymore, but has "no idea why". Animals are part of our families, too, so we should take them into account when making any care decisions.

I agree. I don't have her around when my mom lashes out, but my husband tells me about her reaction. Later she comes to me and whines with a sad looking expression. It's all very hard for her to process. And she's old and may pass herself this year.

That’s very sad and also troubling. Your dog can’t understand what’s happening, and I don’t think it’s safe to have the dog around when your mother’s behavior could be perceived as threatening to you. Yes, your mom is a member of the pack, but a dog that’s primarily loyal to you, the leader, could turn on mom in your defense. Be very careful about this and don’t take anything for granted. The German shepherds in my family were incredibly loyal to their human masters. And they had really big teeth.

So sorry about this problem. Maybe you should talk to a professional trainer to get their take on it.