My cousin is continually trying to get me to come down and stay with my aunt. I repeatedly keep telling her that work, and I must be in the office physically. I can visit aunt on Saturday but need to leave the following day. I live five hours away.
Cousin texts and says she's throwing a thank you party for my aunt's neighbor who has been a tremendous help. The party is on Wednesday. I said cousin, I appreciate the invite, but again, I'm working, and cannot attend, as I must be in the office. No response.
I have showed much gratitude to the neighbor while I was there. Paid her money, and even bought lunches for her and my aunt each time I visited. Cousin has not. I told cousin please feel free to have the party without me, and I will visit aunt sometime during the weekend. No exact date given.
I understand her situation that she has a family. Her sister works, but she can't understand that I live five hours away with a job, and I do not have the luxury of saying, am going to WFH to take care of my aunt.
Aunt needs 24-hour care. She refuses AL, she has a caregiver, but she needs more care than I can provide for her, and I have told cousin this. I am not the solution because I am single. Oh, I did give up my POA. Aunt currently does not have one, that I know of.
NOW resign as cousin.
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How on earth is your cousin comfortable with asking you to do so much for your aunt? Now she is chatting to you about a neighbor. What next?
Don’t become a puppet in your cousin’s show. If people would stop participating in her shenanigans, then isn’t it possible that your aunt would see the light and stop refusing to be placed in a facility?
The only thing that your cousin is accomplishing by satisfying all of auntie’s desires is prolonging the agony.
Your cousin expects everyone to jump through hoops, just to keep ‘auntie’ satisfied. Who gets everything they desire in life?
Everyone needs to tell cuz that they are no longer going to go out of their way to please auntie.
I bet that it wouldn’t even cross your mind to ask others to do the things that they ask you to do.
Plus, I am sure that you would prefer to see your aunt living in a nice assisted living facility.
Continue to have very limited contact with her and if she continues to be a pest, don’t have any type of communication with her.
Best wishes to you and your family.
I do not believe that there is anything else that you can do. One cannot reason with an unreasonable person.
You may be right about the visits. Work is stressful enough, and I do appreciate my weekends to wind down. I still want to visit her one Saturday, but will not make it a habit. Thanks for your always thoughtful words.
Best out to you. Keep setting limits and living your own life.
Perfect thing to do for your wellbeing.
Continue to stand by your ground rules.