Hey ya'll,
Anybody reading this who clicks on my profile name will see that a year ago today, my Dad died.
I want to say to all of you who are going through something similar, the shock of realizing that your parent(s) aren't who they used to be, the dread of knowing you are about to lose at least one of them, the thought that while you were avoiding the situation you might have already lost them both... what I want to say to you is a kind of reassurance.
You will miss the one who dies. You will miss the one who remains.
Reassurance because I also want to say that even though it won't get "easier", in the main, one of them will still be with you (hopefully) and, also, you will definitely miss the one who is not. Because you may be afraid that all the love you have for your parents has been or is being eaten up by the feelings you have right now. You may be afraid that they know this.
They probably know this.
But rest assured that your love will remain.
My father, my politically opposite, difficult, sometimes abusive father who I loved with all my heart and who did not live up to my expectations -- is dead. And I miss him with every fiber of my being even though I have no idea what I would do with him if he was still alive.
I am trying hard to be an easier person for my mother, who does not need a harder daughter.
So if this is a fear of yours please let the fear go. You will love them. They will love you. Things will conclude and the love will come front and center.
My Dad died a year ago today. I have no idea what will happen next.
Love will remain.
Maybe that's all I need to know.
I struggle daily with grief, still have crying jags, and I try to talk to him daily, as if he can hear me still.
I do not miss her at all though...I feel nothing, other than tremendous relief that I no longer have to interact with her directly anymore. I haven't seen nor spoken to her since the day my dad died.
But man, oh man, I miss my dad.
I would give anything for just one more hug or conversation with him.
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You bring up an important point. We don’t ever stop loving people who have died.
They aren’t in our physical world anymore. Instead, they live in our hearts 💕.
I always loved him, and still do, and miss he and my mom very much. Life seems to get harder as you get older, because you're losing people you love.
I wish you all the strength. I know it's hard. I hate when people say it gets easier. You just have to become accustomed to being without them. {Hugs}.
Mom died just one year ago last week. I remember standing at the graveside and saying to my sibs "We're orphans now". We kind of cried/laughed about it, b/c we are all Sr citizens ourselves---
But losing a parent can be so very hard. Seeing them sick and old was worse, though.
I KNOW they are together and pain free and for that, I am grateful.
I didn’t even know how to respond.
its hard to lose a loved one, but knowing they are at peace, makes it a lil better.
yes, I still miss them, but it’s the “regrets” snd the “guilts” and the “could’ve/should’ve” syndrome that I find hard to turn off. I think there’s a “would’ve” in the saying too.
my friend took her mother out a few days ago. Mom insisted they wear pink! They saw the Barbie Movie :)
The last movie I was able to take mom to was just before her dementia got too bad. The movie ended, lights came on..
“Thats all?” She asked.. people around us kindly laughed, as they heard her comment. She thoroughly enjoyed it.. I will need to ask my friend, as she went with us too. :)
I now think I’m in some twisted surreal reality, where he is gone, but I’m caring for mother.
I am “mostly” less in shock, but sometimes the reminders that he’s gone hit me and take my breath away.
Not all of us were blessed with good earthly fathers nor do we miss them or think of them at all. But thankfully for me, I have my heavenly Father who loves me more than any earthly father ever could, and that brings me great peace and joy.
well he got it, and the day he got the news, was the day things seemed to change. That was the first day that I recognized that my dad was mortal. That woke up my whole family and my in-laws.
my dad was a health nut.
it was so sad. And his frustration was just overpowering.
did you feel your dad or hear him tslking to you sfter he died? My dad was with me a lot. He didn’t believe in God . Asked me why I did.. and he gave ne signs he was good!
I asked my brother if he heard dad csll out his name.. he mentioned he thought he may have heard him, but that’s a bit nuts… right?
I was glad I got these signs..
very strong signs..
my mother was liberated from her body, and I feel she went straight up to be with her family, ..
I talk to my loved ones up there, I get a sense of peace.