I believe hospice and my stepmother are responsible for his death.

My mother's most recent husband with the help of my sister-in-law and brother did not want to care for my mother so the husband kept insisting she had dementia and Alzheimer's when her doctors found nothing and he insisted they put her in the nursing home, then he insisted she put all she owned including her house in his name and give the others all the rest she owned and as her POA insisted the nurses and hospice give her 1 mg Ativan along with morphine every four hours, after the nurses had been bothered by her needed help twice to go to the bathroom and not wanting to be bothered, and the husband and sister in law insisted she needed to die, she was fine before the drugs then she went into a drug-induced coma and never woke up and died within only a couple of weeks of being there or less. The husband also told my mother to tell me he was staying in her house if anything happened to her, which she had spent her whole life paying for and my brother remodeled. He used her for all he could get out of her, spent all of her money and traveled on her dime, treated me and my son like dirt, and threw her in a nursing home to die, he did the same to his mother and strangely his ex-wife died the same way, he has many issues. He is extremely manipulative. He had conned the staff and the director and has a daughter who helped him who is a head nurse, so she also was in the middle of all getting it done, as was the sister-in-law who has brothers who are doctors and was after all she could get from her too. I was very close to my mother as was my son so they wanted us out of the way. We asked for nothing but they also knew I had taken care of her by being right there for the last 60 years and had offered to allow her to move in with me and they did not want that, they wanted her gone and they wanted all her stuff. GREED is an UGLY thing!! God saw all and they will pay one way or another whether a lawyer is brought in or whether God makes them go through the same themselves and lose all they took. Hospice did nothing but drug my mother to the point of killing her off within a week of coming in, they are worthless and I do NOT recommend anyone allow their parents to go through the same. It is not my mother's fault she trusted the UNTRUSTABLE AND MANIPULATIVE. It is also not her fault that he is a liar and falsely labeled her as having two illnesses she was never diagnosed with, per her MD and the nurses, but which are the only two illnesses that allowed him to shove her into a nursing home to die and not come home, dementia and Alzheimer's. As far as anyone on this site claiming others are just angry or not overall, or that they do not have a legal case, all are untrue. I have worked for the county, state, and federal government so do not give others false information, that is untrue and all have a right to let others know that hospice is indeed worthless and killing people off using by overdose. My mother was given enough medication to make her sleep nonstop as they stuck a pad under her and put a catheter in because they were too lazy to do their jobs! I know as I was there most days and watched all they did. I also requested they come help her get to the bathroom several times after they ignored her pushing her button, then also ignored my request when she almost had an accident and told me "They have a lot of patients and they would clean her up if she had an accident". They had one or two girls sitting and talking at the counter and doing nothing and one other girl walking down the hall with a cart of food and many, many patients. The staff was not helpful and quite rude, then when my mother simply needed help up to get to the toilet they got mad and found a way to get back at her for bothering them and for me then asking them after they ignored her request and we waited ten minutes. Nursing homes are nightmares, they do NOT take care of anyone and take all of the money they can get. This one is Twin Willows in Salem IL!

I am sorry for your loss.

You didn't want this, you were not expecting it. A fast decline & departure can leave little time to adjust. Shock & anger are understandable.

Currently it seems your anger is directed at certain people. Maybe with the passing of time, you may view things slightly differently. Eventually finding acceptance.

Was your Dad's fall a severe one?
Any fracture or head strike?
Did he have illness or disease?

I just want to add; reputable Medi_Mal lawyers do NOT charge an upfront fee. They take their fee out of the proceeds of the case. They won't take the case unless the facts presented in the medical record suggest wrong doing.

I hope you can find peace in this.

My mom’s doctor put her on palliative care first and then recommended hospice care.

My mother’s doctor said that it is wise not to wait until the last minute to set up hospice care.

A nurse or doctor won’t suggest hospice unless it is truly needed. Hospice kept my mother comfortable in her last weeks of life. I was grateful for their support.

I'm sorry for your loss.

MOST people who enter Hospice do so b/c they are done with life--whether they're chosing this for themselves or their dr is reccomending it, and No, you can't just put someone in Hospice care without a dr's input.

As far as the eating.

Well, maybe dad appreciated a piece of candy, but feeding him candy when he wasn't eating or drinking anything else was nice of you, but in the end, pointless.

My MIL eats less than 400 calories a day and barely drinks. She not only RALLIED under this lack of nutrition, she's actually "FINE" acc to my DH. Well she's not, she still has dementia, she falls a lot and she's very mean to people, but she's not within days of dying. We think she will be here another year, very possibly.

A lawsuit will not make you feel better. It will not make you whole. Your dad was dying, and he did so, in his own time.

Both my father anf my FIL were on Hospice for >2 weeks when they died. The night before he died my FIL had a bowl of soup and conversed normally with us. 8 hrs later he was gone.

Daddy entered Hospice and went only about 2 weeks on popsicles and morphine. He died painlessy--and b/c he had suffered so much--we were grateful he went.

Right now you are angry and upset--take the time to mourn your mom and really think before you go 'legal'. My SIL is a med mal lawyer and she has said you wouldn't believe how very few cases really bring 'closure'. And it costs a fotune.

Medicare will NOT pay hospice a dime w/o a Medicare approved diagnosis code for the services they're providing for the patient. #Truth

My condolences on your loss.

In the VSED book I am currently reading the mother chose to use VSED to end her life. The family researched long and long and attended an attorney when they intended to do this. The made films of the mother giving her intentions and reasons, and among the films she made was one for " as she knew that on day 2, 3 or 4 she would begin to lose mental ability and would attempt to eat. She made the film to remind herself what taking in food or fluid would do (basically add a lot of days to the process). While hospice would not, could not legally join at the beginning (they had a death doula) they COULD come in when the mother was basically not requesting any nourishment, and they did. Not all family members were agreeable with the mother choosing her own final exit. She chose to do it anyway, with those who did support her. She was gone in 10 days (averages are between 7 and 14 days. )

The addition of "candy" and "ensure" would have/could have prolonged death and agony by many days, sadly. And this can happen with a divided family.

Need, you are correct that if this OP needs to see an attorney to learn that she has no case here, she should; perhaps she will find finality in that. However, there are some (not likely many) unscrupulous attorneys who will take money from anyone to do anything. So I would simply caution her that if they ask for money for any suits she can rest assured they know they have no case and are simply robbing her of her cash.

It is a shame, and a sad thing that this we as humans have such a hard time with the fact that death does come to us all. And sad no to know that NO ONE is out there trying to kill our loved ones. We have these claims come to AC periodically. As an RN I find it truly disturbing.

Hospice is not just brought in. A doctor has to recommend it and they do not do that if they don't think that Hospice is needed. Hospice then does their own evaluation according to Medicare criteria.

Dad may not have eaten regular food. Sweets and Ensure are a different thing. Taste buds tend to go as we age but sweet and salt can still be tasted. You really should not have fed Dad. He could have been actively dying. Feeding can do more harm. You may have not been POA but you could have told the Nurse that Dad excepted food from you. So kind of wondering why they feel he won't eat. She may not have responded to you but you got ur point across.

I agree, you need to get all the records together. Maybe there is something u weren't told. So sorry for your loss.

Same thing happen to my dad! What state and hospital if I could ask did this happen in?

Alva,

You may very well be correct in your assessment of no malpractice. There are many possible reasons why a person would qualify for hospice care.

I do think the daughter would feel more at ease if she had answers to her questions though. At the very least I would hope that she could review his medical records. Hopefully, her stepmom will not mind her having access to the medical records.

You’re correct that there could be some friction between the wife and her stepdaughter. So, she is questioning her stepmother’s decisions. The wife has the right to do what she feels is best for her husband, regardless of what the daughter would choose for her dad.

Sometimes people are in denial of their family members being extremely ill when they are admitted into hospice.

I agree that hospice has their own criteria for their acceptance of patients.

It is interesting how hospice works. My oldest brother was in an end of life hospice facility. He improved so much that he was discharged. He ended up being able to do fairly well on his own for awhile.

The next time he went to the hospice facility he died shortly afterwards. This was in 2013. Things change in hospice care and other services as they are needed.

Before the Obama administration people fought with their insurance companies for coverage and were often denied if they had preexisting conditions. Their insurance policies didn’t cover their treatments. Changes were made and there is better coverage available now.

It’s important to keep up with all of the criteria, whether it’s insurance coverage or hospice care.

There is no med malpractice here. You need not be diagnosed with a particular illness to be entered into hospice. You can be in a state of failure to thrive, and in many states now that can be intentional or not.

The wife in this case, clearly operating for her husband as his POA, clearly had Hospice come ON THE ORDER of an MD which is the only way hospice CAN COME.
Clearly there are problems between the wife and the daughter.
Certainly anyone can see an attorney, but this OP would be better advised in my opinion, to discuss this with hospice and the MD involved in the treatment of her father.
I am grateful to the admins for coming in to change the wording from "kill" to responsibility.

I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I hope that you will find the answers that you are seeking.

I would recommend that you follow Barb’s advice.

Wishing you peace as you go through grieving the loss of your father.

VSED is now, in most states, a reason to call in Hospice. I do not know if you spoke with his hospice team. You are an OT and knew full well their availability to you, I would guess. Hospice is now a choice in many circumstances, not just in catastrophic illnesses.

We have here "your version" in this story. Until and unless I can hear your Dad, his Wife, and his medical team speak, I will never have "their side". So no judgement.

I am very sorry for your loss and for your grief and I am very happy for your father that he has Hospice and a loving team to help him face his end of life. I would suspect that your feelings for your dad's wife, who is likely not your Mom, are not new? As Doctor Laura says, second marriages often are not a "blended family" but rather a messy salad.

I hope you will avail yourself now of Hospice and contact them for suggestions on grief counseling. I also know that if you speak with them about your questions you will be answered. I also know that as an experienced OT you realize that end of life care, the expectation that a person will pass in 6 months does not require a diagnosis of cancer or some other disease. It can be simple failure to thrive. It is ordered by an MD.

For myself, I decide an issue when I see such statements claiming that medical community or wives KILLED a person. That is, to me, a bit of hyperbolic semantics. I know you are grieving your loss. Grieving counselors suggest that often we use BLAME as a way to stop the need to pass into the more permanent state of grief. Blame suggests that "something could/would/should/might be done to prevent our loss. Grief recognizes that grief is upon us.

Again, I am so sorry for the loss of your father. I can assure you he will be with you forever in your heart and soul. If he was a fighter pilot in WW II I think he must have attained a good old age for himself. Celebrate him, his life, his love for you and all he was.

Just as a PS: I am currently reading the VSED Handbook by Kate Christie. Her mother chose voluntarily stopping eating and drinking as her final exit and she was so careful to get in an attorney, etc. to document her wishes and intentions, so that they could never be questioned by members of the family who did not agree with this exit. And there were some. A very short book full of information and I recommend it.

I am so so very sorry. I cannot even imagine how you must be feeling internally. The only thing I have to offer are my thoughts and prayers. What I hope for you is to get with an Elder Law Attorney to find out if there is something that you can do about this in order to bring some comfort and closure to you.
Since you weren't the POA, this may get very tedious and expensive for you. Take some breaths, try to gain some time for yourself to approach this calmly and effectively. I know that that may be very difficult, but for your own health and peace of mind, try to slow it down a bit.
Grief mixed with this sort of anger can be more devastating in the long run for you.
((HUG))

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Request the medical records and see a MedMal lawyer.