I'm a caregiver for an acquaintance and I'm overwhelmed. She is needy 24 hours a day. I was hired for 8 hours shifts of help w housekeeping.
I am stuck here 24 hours a day and expected to walk her everywhere bathe her cook change her clothes cook 3 meals and be at her beck and call. I am growing to hate it
You make excellent points about being employed as a caregiver. For exactly the reasons you stated is why I always refused live-in positions. I had one where I split the week with another caregiver, but I maintained my own residence. Never depend on a client or their family for your housing even if the pay is great. When you live with a client you're at their mercy and their family's. Forget that.
I don't provide live-in care and I'm not going to offer round-the-clock done in shifts either. It's too much of a hassle. If a client cannot be left alone for any amount of time, they should be in a care facility or not living alone.
What I used to do when I was an independent cpntractor is keep two cellphones. One number was just for work. I never took client calls after hours. All calls went to voicemail. If it was a cancellation then I called back. All other calls were ignored. Never gave out my address either.
All details are worked out ahead of time and I never took a position if the client did not have an emergency contact who was local that they could call on. I don't take cases now who don't have that.
In fact, I got a call yesterday from a woman who wanted caregiver services for her 88 year old mother. The woman is the POA but lives in another state and she couldn't give me a local emergency contact. So I turned her down. I won't put my caregivers or myself in the position where we become a client's emergency contact by default because there's no one else.
All my clients and their families learned early on not to take advantage of me. Like the family who all took off the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. They didn't want to take their demented elder with them so they tried to force me to keep her by not coming home. They learned quick when they got a call from the police. I don't play.
Leave after your 8 hour shift is done. Call office if next caregiver doesn’t show up. Call family member to come back to house since you have to leave. Did you sign any agreement that you are responsible for staying there after 8 hours certain days? I would only stay 30 minutes to wait for next caregiver, if she’s running late. You have to be paid for extra time…Tell family member that. Family member has to be in house with the one who needs care if nobody else shows up. I believe you’ve been taken advantage of. Fix it asap. Or look for another job. Good luck & hugs 🤗
I'm sorry to say this, but anyone working in the caregiving industry gets raw deals unless you protect yourself and your legal rights. I don't know your living situation, but this sounds like something I would quit. Most of us who get into this business are loyal and caring people, and if we are not careful, people will take cold hard advantage of our generous nature. We must learn how to detach from our emotions and do the job just like a physician or nurse professional who can shut off their emotions and not carry this mess home. Home health aides work one on one, so we don't have this luxury, but we do need to learn how to protect our emotional and physical health while doing our jobs. These people are sick and sometimes the sickness has caused mental health issues or vice versa. We can't be on beck and call with spoiled brat seniors who demand more and more attention. I had a couple of clients wanting my phone and address information. They don't need this information. With all of the identity theft going on, we don't give out personal information. If they need to contact me, they can call the office.
Also, never get into any work situation where you can't negotiate. If you can't negotiate, it is slavery with pocket change. I'm currently fighting with an agency like this now. After my yearly evaluation, the office has been reluctant about giving me cases. I know this is coming from a higher up. I found out that they have a list of clients they can't keep staffed. And I was hired for this reason. The patients are terrible, and most have mental health issues. They send their aides into these homes blind not knowing what to expect. The latest case is someone who drinks alcohol first thing in the morning but claims they can't afford food, but you are drinking alcohol the first thing in the morning? What gives? So, they (the agency) will make all types of promises and were super nice in the beginning like the jobs are a walk in the park. I was in the middle of a job search and these folks seemed like they were mediocre to okay, but after reading the reviews, it came with warning bells in my head. I got my first case with them three months later after I was hired and the patient was a loon (crazy). Agencies gaslight a lot. Don't fall for this tactic. Do what is on the care plan and nothing else.
Anyway, if you are putting in eight hours, that is it for that day. Get your own place, even if it is a room. Look for other employment. There is no working around the clock for twenty-four hours. That is just plain crazy! Check out the website for the Department of Labor, OSHA and if need be, report this mess to the department of health in your city and state only if this is an agency. You don't want red flags on you if you are working under the table to get extra cash. Check out the employment office in your city. They should have free training programs to attend.
Did you ever sign a written contract? Or was it all verbal? Even if it was verbal it is immoral, unethical and unsustainable to expect someont to be on duty 24/7.
Talk to the person who hired/pays you. If you don't have a written contract and wish to stay under "better" conditions, write one up immediately with a spot for both parties to sign and date. Find a template online that covers 40 hrs p/wk, sick day policy and vacation. If they are paying you in cash and "room and board" I'd get out of that situation asap. You can inform whoever hired you that you are leaving (give day and time) so that they can make arrangements to cover your absence. Then leave, even if they are hanging onto your ankles. You are being exploited.
If you are growing to hate it, then you should quit. You’re not benefiting from any of this. You’re not responsible for the person that needs care. Don’t carry a burden that isn’t yours to carry.
Perhaps you’ve heard the expression that something is only a good deal when both parties are satisfied. It seems that you aren’t satisfied with this arrangement, so you should definitely quit.
Look into other options. Give notice to whoever hired you and walk away.
Are you hired direct? By your client or by their family? Or through an agency?
My LO has caregivers through an agency. They do their shift then leave. Occasionally things pop up outside of a shift time & a caregiver is called direct IF they have agreed to being contacted direct. They may choose to do an extra visit/task, or decline. Can refer my LO back to the agency to locate someone else.
I found when I assisted (as a family member) the dynamics were very different. Began to be 'on call'. LO had needs & expected family to meet every need. Not evil, just childlike. But also entitled. Said "I need XYZ so you have to do it." This was the level of understanding - that her needs would be met instantly by family.
You have become like family. Over-used & under appreciated. It will be up to you to install your own reasonable work boundaries. Up to you to stick to them.
eg I am happy to help you during my work hours. My work hours are X-Y.
If you are a live-in this will get very tricky. It may mean you need to live elsewhere.
If you are only “growing to hate it”, the chances are that it used to be better and that it is getting worse. No-one would have started to work on these terms, but you have finally realised that by now it’s slavery with pocket money, not a job.
Your client will get worse, not better. That means that the situation for you will also get worse, not better. It’s working for everyone except you, so you are the one who has to push for change. Any change that’s agreed (eg more money, or a couple of hour’s relief) will be grudging, and will not keep up with things getting worse. Alva’s suggestions are the way to bring this to a close. Start planning so that you don’t walk out with nothing and nowhere to go.
Resign then, Kym. Or do tell us why you are doing an 8 hour job for 24 hours? Leave and find your own housing. If this is a senior at risk, report to family, other friends, and the APS the date you will be leaving this job.
I am with Burnt, if not a live in then you work just your shift. If a live in this is slave labor and you should be paid for all your hours if working them. As a live in you get time off and they have another aid working the shifts you are off. Check your Labor Board for laws referring to live ins.
If you are being paid for an eight hour shift, you work an eight hour shift. When your shift is up, you leave. Only be with your client during the hours you're being paid for.
If you are a live-in that changes everything. I did caregiving for 25 years and always refused live-in positions. Live-in positions are usually a raw deal for the caregiver who most of the time becomes a care slave on duty 24/7.
Start looking for another job so you can get out of your situation. Or start spending your time off away from the house you work in.
You make excellent points about being employed as a caregiver. For exactly the reasons you stated is why I always refused live-in positions. I had one where I split the week with another caregiver, but I maintained my own residence. Never depend on a client or their family for your housing even if the pay is great. When you live with a client you're at their mercy and their family's. Forget that.
I don't provide live-in care and I'm not going to offer round-the-clock done in shifts either. It's too much of a hassle. If a client cannot be left alone for any amount of time, they should be in a care facility or not living alone.
What I used to do when I was an independent cpntractor is keep two cellphones. One number was just for work. I never took client calls after hours. All calls went to voicemail. If it was a cancellation then I called back. All other calls were ignored. Never gave out my address either.
All details are worked out ahead of time and I never took a position if the client did not have an emergency contact who was local that they could call on. I don't take cases now who don't have that.
In fact, I got a call yesterday from a woman who wanted caregiver services for her 88 year old mother. The woman is the POA but lives in another state and she couldn't give me a local emergency contact. So I turned her down. I won't put my caregivers or myself in the position where we become a client's emergency contact by default because there's no one else.
All my clients and their families learned early on not to take advantage of me. Like the family who all took off the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. They didn't want to take their demented elder with them so they tried to force me to keep her by not coming home.
They learned quick when they got a call from the police. I don't play.
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Also, never get into any work situation where you can't negotiate. If you can't negotiate, it is slavery with pocket change. I'm currently fighting with an agency like this now. After my yearly evaluation, the office has been reluctant about giving me cases. I know this is coming from a higher up. I found out that they have a list of clients they can't keep staffed. And I was hired for this reason. The patients are terrible, and most have mental health issues. They send their aides into these homes blind not knowing what to expect. The latest case is someone who drinks alcohol first thing in the morning but claims they can't afford food, but you are drinking alcohol the first thing in the morning? What gives? So, they (the agency) will make all types of promises and were super nice in the beginning like the jobs are a walk in the park. I was in the middle of a job search and these folks seemed like they were mediocre to okay, but after reading the reviews, it came with warning bells in my head. I got my first case with them three months later after I was hired and the patient was a loon (crazy). Agencies gaslight a lot. Don't fall for this tactic. Do what is on the care plan and nothing else.
Anyway, if you are putting in eight hours, that is it for that day. Get your own place, even if it is a room. Look for other employment. There is no working around the clock for twenty-four hours. That is just plain crazy! Check out the website for the Department of Labor, OSHA and if need be, report this mess to the department of health in your city and state only if this is an agency. You don't want red flags on you if you are working under the table to get extra cash. Check out the employment office in your city. They should have free training programs to attend.
Talk to the person who hired/pays you. If you don't have a written contract and wish to stay under "better" conditions, write one up immediately with a spot for both parties to sign and date. Find a template online that covers 40 hrs p/wk, sick day policy and vacation. If they are paying you in cash and "room and board" I'd get out of that situation asap. You can inform whoever hired you that you are leaving (give day and time) so that they can make arrangements to cover your absence. Then leave, even if they are hanging onto your ankles. You are being exploited.
Perhaps you’ve heard the expression that something is only a good deal when both parties are satisfied. It seems that you aren’t satisfied with this arrangement, so you should definitely quit.
Look into other options. Give notice to whoever hired you and walk away.
My LO has caregivers through an agency. They do their shift then leave. Occasionally things pop up outside of a shift time & a caregiver is called direct IF they have agreed to being contacted direct. They may choose to do an extra visit/task, or decline. Can refer my LO back to the agency to locate someone else.
I found when I assisted (as a family member) the dynamics were very different. Began to be 'on call'. LO had needs & expected family to meet every need. Not evil, just childlike. But also entitled. Said "I need XYZ so you have to do it." This was the level of understanding - that her needs would be met instantly by family.
You have become like family. Over-used & under appreciated. It will be up to you to install your own reasonable work boundaries. Up to you to stick to them.
eg I am happy to help you during my work hours. My work hours are X-Y.
If you are a live-in this will get very tricky. It may mean you need to live elsewhere.
Your client will get worse, not better. That means that the situation for you will also get worse, not better. It’s working for everyone except you, so you are the one who has to push for change. Any change that’s agreed (eg more money, or a couple of hour’s relief) will be grudging, and will not keep up with things getting worse. Alva’s suggestions are the way to bring this to a close. Start planning so that you don’t walk out with nothing and nowhere to go.
Or do tell us why you are doing an 8 hour job for 24 hours?
Leave and find your own housing.
If this is a senior at risk, report to family, other friends, and the APS the date you will be leaving this job.
When your shift is up, you leave. Only be with your client during the hours you're being paid for.
If you are a live-in that changes everything. I did caregiving for 25 years and always refused live-in positions. Live-in positions are usually a raw deal for the caregiver who most of the time becomes a care slave on duty 24/7.
Start looking for another job so you can get out of your situation. Or start spending your time off away from the house you work in.
If she appears to be in danger when alone, report that to Adult Protective Services in your area.