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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
We try, don't we! I am sending you a big warm comforting hug! Wrap yourself in it and then ask yourself who's expectations are you trying to meet. Yours or your parents. Do they need EVERYTHING that you are demanding of yourself? Sometimes making a list of all that requires your attention and then condensing or eliminating a few could relieve some of your pressure. Also, asking for help is not a failure on your part. If your parents are safe and comfortable and have the necessities of life, you have accomplished more than you can imagine.
To me, guilt comes with the territory. Either my Mom puts on the guilt trip or I do it myself. Sometimes I feel as if I am not doing enough and then sometimes I don't. I just pray for patience and to show my love for her as much as I can. Whenever you feel guilty just ask yourself if you are doing all you can. The answer to that question will probably YES!
I just want to agree with the guilt complex syndrome. No matter how much I do and if I'm not there 24/7 I always feel like I should be there but not doing more because there is nothing else more I can do, I cross all the T's and dot all the I's.
A person in the medical field, who has my greatest respect, made the following comment to me during a down time with my emotions: "If the decisions you make are out of love there is no wrong decision. If you feel you could do more but can't be specific then you are doing all that you can. If there is something you are not capable of doing seek others to assist."
Unfortunately as primary caregivers we have guilt about not being able to do this or that. Write a list of all the daily things you do and pay for. It will be a long list. We all want to "fix" each problem our aging parents encounter. Remember the aging process will always win. We, no matter how much we try, are only working on the margins. Actually, we are lessening the impact of aging and making their remaining years more comfortable and enjoyable.
I had my father with me until he passed away earlier this yr. I worked full time and cared from him alone. I hired hhaides to be with him while I worked. I would come home from work, work all evening and at midnight with lots of things on my "to do list" I would go to bed. During the night (every 1 1/2 hours) I would be up tending to his needs--then at 5:30 pm I would be up getting ready to go to work. It is a merry go round. Just do what is possible--not overdo.
Take a step back and recognize that if you are doing everything, you are probably not doing a good job since you are overextended. The cardinal rule is that you must first take care of yourself, then those around you. So, while you are in a calm moment, figure out what can be handed off to others. Are they living in a facility or on their own? If they are in a facility, then you need to know that they are safe and you can rely on others (while keeping in mind the "trust but verify" rule). But make a list of things you will permanently cross off your list of things to do. Surely there are some things that others can do just as well, or not done at all. Good luck!
Learn to live with the guilt feelings and to shove them into the background. Guilt is kind of the default background feeling for caregivers. Don't let the guilt make decisions for you. Strive for balance.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I had my father with me until he passed away earlier this yr. I worked full time and cared from him alone. I hired hhaides to be with him while I worked. I would come home from work, work all evening and at midnight with lots of things on my "to do list" I would go to bed. During the night (every 1 1/2 hours) I would be up tending to his needs--then at 5:30 pm I would be up getting ready to go to work. It is a merry go round. Just do what is possible--not overdo.
Elizabeth
Good luck!