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🌸⭐️
What do you call a melon that's not allowed to get married? Can't elope.
(4)
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🌸⭐️
What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newly-webs.
(3)
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🌸⭐️
My wife and I often exchange opinions. I come with my own and leave with hers.
(3)
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🙂⭐️
Well, what can I tell you about the groom? I've known him for about ten years, he's handsome, intelligent, witty, charismatic... sorry, wrong wedding.
(2)
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AND last marriage joke for today:

🌸⭐️
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
(2)
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🌸⭐️ Whenever my wife packs me a salad for lunch, all I wanna know is what I did wrong.
(2)
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😉
I swore I married someone who didn’t snore. Turns out, they just held back until we signed the paperwork.
(2)
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🙂🥰 Marriage teaches you a lot about yourself—for example, I’ve learned I can sleep just fine on two inches of a king-sized bed.
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🌸⭐️ A wise man once said, "I don't know...ask my wife."
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🌸⭐️ My wife says I'm too competitive. I told her I already knew that.
(2)
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😉🥰
I love everybody.
Some I love to be around,
some I love to avoid,
and others I’d love to
punch in the face.
(2)
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⭐️🌈⭐️🌈
I love long walks
away from everyone.
(3)
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❤️
"All stressed out
and no one to choke."
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🙂 stand-up comedian (man):

I just found out my neighbourhood has like 50 registered s*x offenders.

I don’t need that kind of…
competition. 🙂

I’m just kidding! It’s a joke…

I’m not registered.
(1)
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🙂🌈
I would go out of my mind,
but I can’t find the exit.
(3)
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🙂⭐️
One cat won’t fix all your problems…but three might.
(3)
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🤓🙂
I would make a great millionaire.
(2)
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Oh darling.
Go buy a brain.
(2)
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🙂😇
I saved someone’s life today.

Well, I resisted the urge to strangle the life out of this idiot. So pretty much the same thing.
(6)
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We used to have village idiots, but with the internet, they’ve gone global.
(5)
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🙂
When I was younger, I could really kick some butt. Now I just go for the ankles.
(6)
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🙂
I like working from home. It’s much more comfortable than sleeping in my cubicle.
(4)
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🙂
Food prices are so high, I even cry over un-spilt milk.
(3)
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97yroldmom, I am not sure it isn't a good thing ;-)

Love BOJ and the silly quotes and quips she shares with us.
(4)
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🙂🙂🙂
If there’s one thing I’d like you to remember, it’s…
Oh my God, what was it?
(2)
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ITRR

Be VERY careful. You are beginning to speak BOJ.

I’m not sure that’s a good thing. 🤓😎🥸🥳
(1)
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😉

"It's not boring staying in the house for weeks in a row.
But how come one bag
of rice has 48,356 grains
and the other 47,998?"
(4)
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🙂
We recently targeted your company in a cyber attack. How did we do? Please take a moment to rate your experience.
(4)
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🙂
I hope you’re going through hell; keep going.
(1)
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Me:
I need to do a thing.

Body:
You did a thing yesterday, that’s enough things.
(2)
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