I have been taking care of my Granny for almost 2 years now, my Mom passed away and was an only child, as am I. I feel overwhelmed and depressed most the time. I would love to have some ME time but there is No One to help me at all. I do not want to put my granny in the Rest Home , she took care of me when I was little and I owe her that. I'm just so tired, mentally and physically drained, Help!
My heart goes out to you with all these responsibilities. It is difficult for children as well to be on the receiving end of the ramifications of caretaking at home or elsewhere. You feel you have to be two places or doing two or more things at once. And something has to give. This is the only time you will have a chance to be there totally for your children..... think of that....you are a wonderful and caring grandaughter and I give you great credit for what you have done.
It is not selfish to thing of yourself or the lives of your children as they and you are important as well.
Hugs to you across the miles and will keep you in my prayers. You deserve great things to come and I pray they come your way. Blessings and take care.
I understand the obligation you feel toward your grandmother, since she didn't have to raise you. However, that obligation does not mean that you have to personally do everything yourself. Your obligation is to make sure that she is loved and cared for in the best way you can. If this means ultimately having to place her in a nursing home, it does not mean you failed your obligation. You will still be able to visit often, but you won't feel bad that you're no longer able to help her well enough. All we can do is take it one day at a time and hope things don't get beyond our abilities.
It is critical, though, that you take time for yourself. I know no one is there to help you and it is hard to start the process of seeking professional help. What may be a good first step is to call hospice to see if she qualifies. Hospice may be able to work with you to get you the rest you need. Let us know how it goes. We know exactly how you're feeling, because many of us are in the same place.