I have posted on here many times and answered questions every now and then. Dad passed away Oct 7th 2013 from Liver Cancer . He was in a hospice facility for 11 days until he died. The day before he was admitted he was in the hospital and was talking,eating and very clear headed but his ammonia levels were high and he had been very combative, not eating and wouldn't take his meds for 4 days at his nursing home. ( He was in for a Psych Evaluation.) The hospice worker talked to me about admitting him instead of returning to the nursing home. I agreed to this and arrangements were made. He was transferred later that day and was alert and in good spirits. The next morning he was unresponsive and stayed that way until he passed. They gave him morphine and ativan around the clock. He never got any water but they did cleanse his mouth and moisten it with swabs. It seemed like he could hear me the first few days because I would shake his shoulder and say "dad". His eyes seemed to be moving under his eyelids and his mouth would move slightly. I did ask about them lowering his dosages so he could wake up a little. The nurse said he was getting a very small dosage already. I just wonder if the drugs made him unresponsive and if less was used he could have ate and drank and lived longer. I know it was time for him to go but I'm kinda puzzled about his going from complete alertness and straight into unresponsiveness so quick. The nurses did a Great job. I myself don't know how they do it. They treated dad like he was their baby. So gentle and compassionate. I was just wondering if anyone else had the feeling that death felt a little rushed once their loved one was placed in Hospice.
That is understandable, and also very sad, flowgo. Do you think that your mother would want you brooding on this so long? Have you been to a therapist since this has happened, to help you move forward with your own life?
Please try again to find someone who can help you move forward with your life, not to forget, but to find a way to live with this 'wound' and find comfort and joy in the future.
Yet, the posts predominantly lean toward a "No" answer. So, either that is the real truth, or....a lot of the posters are mistaken.
Given that hospice actually advertises on this site, I find it difficult to believe that bias plays no part in the content thereof.
And having read the "About Us" page, I'd be even more inclined to question this discussion.
As an advocate for life, myself (most likely, because I am alive, and wish to remain so) I do not differentiate between the unborn, and the already here.
The young, the old, the infirm -- all are equal in their right to live.
I do not discriminate....and I do not sanction the premature taking of any human life -- no matter how small, feeble, or presumably insignificant.
Because there is no insignificant human life.
And to take that life prematurely, is an "m" word....but "mercy" isn't it.
Morphine and ativan are given to reduce suffering and control agitation, not to speed death. Often the trade off is that the person is no longer lucid or aware, but IMO that is better than aware, afraid and suffering.
Food is withheld at the end of life because the dying no longer need food, in fact the dying body can no longer digest the food we eat and eating can cause harm.
I.V. hydration is similar to food, fluids can build up in the lungs and around the heart and cause increased suffering.
Today we have the technology to keep the heart beating and the shell of the body alive, tying the soul to the earth instead of letting it depart. Is this prolonging of life really just??
For the record, I am opposed to euthanasia, and to assisted suicide, and to anything else it might be called. Just so we're clear on that.
I am also in favour of treating people regardless of their numerical age, medically if they have any realistic prospect of recovery, and palliatively if they haven't.
I don't know exactly what happened to your father, of course; and I am in any case sorry for your loss. The point I want to make is that if you are being advised that there is a possibility that a nurse would intentionally have misdirected your father's feeding tube in order to induce aspiration pneumonia and kill him… then that advice is extremely cruel and deeply misguided.
My father died very suddenly and unexpectedly at 71. Soon after somebody said to me "oh well, he'd had his life then," and I have never forgiven that person; so I understand how hurtful your co-workers' attitude must be. My mother died this year at 90, at home, where I cared for her. I was a tireless advocate for my 96 year old great aunt when poor health care following a fall at home nearly did for her; it took a lot of fast talking to get her moved to a better hospital, after which she lived for four more good years. I come from a whole family of long-lived people, mostly ladies; and I would have loved nothing more than to see them reach 100 and keep going, with their skates on. So believe me, if your father had been my father then I too would have been in the ER doing my best to get him the best possible care and hoping he could recover.
But look. There are two points to consider about his fall. The first is that very often it is a stroke that causes the fall, not the other way about. The second is that, either way, either he had a very serious stroke or it was such a serious fall that he suffered a major head injury. At any age, and whatever the state of a person's body otherwise, that is extremely dangerous.
How long after his admission was it decided to insert a feeding tube? I am a little surprised that this was done, because it is a risky procedure precisely because of the problems you describe. Did the medical staff come under pressure to do it, or was it their recommendation?
Look. You have a choice. You can torture yourself and think ill of the nurse and blame everybody, including yourself, for your father's death. Or you can speak to your own doctor about what happened, and get a clear explanation of the medical issues. The bottom line, though, is that your father had an unsurvivable brain injury unrelated to his age. That's enough sadness to have to cope with, without adding poisonous suspicions to it. Please think this through and don't multiply your grief.