I have posted on here many times and answered questions every now and then. Dad passed away Oct 7th 2013 from Liver Cancer . He was in a hospice facility for 11 days until he died. The day before he was admitted he was in the hospital and was talking,eating and very clear headed but his ammonia levels were high and he had been very combative, not eating and wouldn't take his meds for 4 days at his nursing home. ( He was in for a Psych Evaluation.) The hospice worker talked to me about admitting him instead of returning to the nursing home. I agreed to this and arrangements were made. He was transferred later that day and was alert and in good spirits. The next morning he was unresponsive and stayed that way until he passed. They gave him morphine and ativan around the clock. He never got any water but they did cleanse his mouth and moisten it with swabs. It seemed like he could hear me the first few days because I would shake his shoulder and say "dad". His eyes seemed to be moving under his eyelids and his mouth would move slightly. I did ask about them lowering his dosages so he could wake up a little. The nurse said he was getting a very small dosage already. I just wonder if the drugs made him unresponsive and if less was used he could have ate and drank and lived longer. I know it was time for him to go but I'm kinda puzzled about his going from complete alertness and straight into unresponsiveness so quick. The nurses did a Great job. I myself don't know how they do it. They treated dad like he was their baby. So gentle and compassionate. I was just wondering if anyone else had the feeling that death felt a little rushed once their loved one was placed in Hospice.
A few of us hospice nurses have been barely keeping our heads above water on this thread.
We appreciate you setting everyone straight.
All any of us want to do is keep your terminal loved one comfortable. Make sure everyone in your family reads the contract and knows what to expect and what services are offered. Then everyone is on the same page.
If we had accepted hospice when it was first recommended, more than two years ago, our experience would have been like the one Hospice MD describes. Because other famiky members waited until mom was critical and already actively dying, our hospice experience was about 36 hours long.
Again, my deep sympathies to you. I hope you find peace.
Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease, also called: CJD or subacute spongiform encephalopathy is
a degenerative brain disorder that leads to dementia and death. Treatment can help, but this condition can't be cured. It requires a medical diagnosis with lab tests. Imaging is always required.
Chronic: can last for years or be lifelong.
Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease may occur spontaneously, be inherited or be transmitted by contact with infected tissue, such as during a transplant or from eating contaminated meat.
The condition causes personality changes, anxiety, depression and memory loss, usually within a few months. Many people lapse into coma.
Because no effective treatment exists, the focus is on alleviating pain and relieving symptoms. Consult a doctor for medical advice.
Sources: Mayo Clinic and others.
Dear Flymom,
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Mom. But please be kind enough to read the following.
I know what it "looks" like... the Morphine was hooked up, then she died. But she would have died at that time, with or without the Morphine.
To those who may not know, a "drip" is a needle in the vein (IV) with a saline solution mixed with pain medication, hooked up to a machine that delivers a continuous, set amount of medication over a prescribed period of time. Doctors can NOT order deadly amounts to be given. It just can't happen. Pharmacists make the bag of Morphine in the pharmacy and the nurse usually hooks it up to the patient. Doctor's just order it. No nurse that I've EVER encountered in my 38 years would give an overdose of IV pain medicine. IT IS ILLEGAL! The patient is kept comfortable with the amount the doctor believes is sufficient for pain relief but not enough to overwhelm the patient and stop breathing.
How do you KNOW that your mom had no pain in her coma? Just because her vitals were fine doesn't mean that she was as comfortable as she could be. As mentioned before on this thread, there are many 'unspoken' signs of pain that the average person might miss.
You have admitted that your mom was terminal with, unfortunately, no hope of recovery. Your mom had been in a coma for 10 days. During that time I know she was assessed neurologically (for pain too) by the doctors. The decision was made to keep her comfortable. Could you imagine being trapped in your body and not being able to let anyone know that you hurt?
According to the famous Mayo clinic, "the focus is on alleviating pain". I know you wouldn't want your mother to suffer, especially being unable to speak.
It's hard to let go. Death happens too fast for us to wrap our brains around it. Most of us are in denial. "But she was just fine a month ago." It's all too fast and way too painful to let go. And it's so final.
It's easy to say that Morphine killed her so we can blame it on 'something' and be mad at it to displace our helplessness to fix the problem.
I believe that, as time passes, you will come to see that the day God set aside for her to be with Him WAS the day she passed. Be comforted that she passed with no pain, whether you could see it or not.
Flymom I know you are hurting and nothing anyone can add will relieve that pain. But try and find peace within from the fact that Mom was actively dying when hospice came in and gave the morphine and IV but focus on the fact that she was able to die peacefully
Naturally you are entitled to your opinion about hospice but the fact is both parets had very unpleasant life threatening diseases and hospice was able to ease their distress even if the passed sooner than you expected. Feeding your Dad would have been fruitless as it would have put more stress on his failing organs and lead to more distress for him. Would you really have wanted to watch either of them moaning with pain, restless and anxious in the final days of their lives. I think you would have been calling hospice and asking them to help him
Try and put this behind you and concentrate on the good times you had with your parents. Hospice has a grief group run by a social worker and you might find it helpful to share your feelings with others.
He was so gravely ill at the time, I honestly didn't think that he would survive it, but he sure did, however in the many tests that were done on him, a Chest CT confirmed a golf ball sized mass is growing in his Right Lung, and it has already spread to his diaphram and his rib bones.
This is a guy who Never complains of pain, but then does things like slide away from that side of his body in bed, which the Nurses called guarding. When pressed on that side, he says does hurt, so he now gets pain meds routinely which do not "knock him out", but only makes him more relaxed and comfortable.
We've had him home with us now 6 weeks. The Cancer Dr in hospital told us that he would probably only make it 3 weeks if that, and he has exceed that guestimate.
The first week home was Rough, as FIL was still recovering from the Pneumonia, coughing up gobs of terrible thick phlegm, but he rallied, and got much better, nearly back to his old self, but is so extremely weak, that he is now bedbound. He is also now double incontinent, and on a catheter, with round the clock Oxycodone and Lorazepam.
Things went along pretty normally, except for him being bed bound, and getting his medications adjusted just right, until about 10 days ago, when he started getting major agitation and having delusions, and talking
non-sensical (?).
It was frightening, not knowing exactly what to do, but we have an Amazing Hospice team working for us, just a phone call away, day or night, and they have worked hard to adjust his medications just right. Our Nurse comes twice a week to check on him as well as calls in frequently, we have a bath aide 2 X per week, and really great SW, who is helping me to get in VA home care services started, as well as Our Lovely Lady Chaplain, who sees him each week, to visit, and she also sings and players her flute.
My FIL just Loves all "his ladies", with a couple of Handsome male Nurses thrown in for my pleasure, Lol! No, they really really great too!
In the last 10 days with this new symptom of Agitation, there have been several medication adjustments, now Morphine and Haldol, to quiet him, and relieve his stress, which has helped immensely, allowing him And Us to get the much needed sleep at night, because doing Hospice care at home is not easy, it's a lot of work! I swear our Hospice team is here to help us, almost as much as they are to help him the patient!
It is all about the comfort care now, my FIL knows that he is Dying, and we are doing everything we can to make his transition as calm, comfortable and loving as possible.
Recent trouble with a Urinary tract infection has raised havoc with his catheter, which has needed to be changed 3 times in the past week, it's really frustrating, but he is in no noticeable pain, and that is our goal. Yes, he is sleeping more, but he isn't struggling to get out of bed, wrestling with his clothing and blankets, talking gibberish, and so confused as he was without the added medications, and even he feels better, and understands that this is nessesary for him and for my husband and myself, in order to keep him here with us, rather than being sent to the Hospice Hospital, or a Nursing home, as he would just hate that.
As long as we can keep him comfortable, keep him here with us, that is our goal, and with the help of Our Hospice Team, I am praying that we can continue to have him here as is his dying wish.
There is no perfect solution, we just do our best, and that is all we can do.
It is most likely that he will pass from an infection, rather than the Cancer, which will be a blessing, as if this type of Cancer progresses, it could spread to his brain (if it hasn't already), and will eventually cause trouble with his breathing, his lungs filling with fluid, coughing, and cause much more pain as the cancer advances, and time goes on.
I tend to be much more honest and frank with him than my husband is, but I have worked in Healthcare all my life, and have been through the dying process with both of my parents, dying of horrible disease processes, which I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
I believe it's much nicer when the patient knows and understands what is in store for their life, and how we can make things as easy as possible for them, even if that means that they are sleepy or asleep for much of the day, but Never have our Hospice team suggested doses high enough to harm him, but only enough to ease his symptoms.
I know it's scary and so Sad to lose our Loved ones, especially our Mom's and Dad's, as I've lost both, and was right there with them as they took their last breaths. I can see where one might wish to blame the Hospice Dr or Nurse, but this is my 2nd time around utilizing the wonderful services of Hospice, and I know that we could never do this without them. It would be horrible to even try! We would be way over our heads, and out Loved Ones would be in a Nursing home, unhappy, and not have us here advocating for them 24/7.
We are all going to die, but Please Dear God, let me have the excellent care of a Hospice team like ours, working with my family and on my side!
I am so sorry for those of you who have lost a parent on Hospice. But please know that they do everything they can to make their patients lives and the lives of the caregivers, as easy and comfortable as possible. It is Sad, and the grief can eat you up, so do take the Hospice team up on the. Grief counseling that they offer. I have yet to do this in the past, but may do so for myself this time around, as I don't feel like I've ever grieved properly, as we lost 3 parents so closely together, and then immediately began caring for my FIL in our home for many years now.
It will be nice to understand how I buried my grief, my feelings for many years now. I'm sure that I could benifit from Grief Counseling for sure! God bless all of you who are suffering from loss!
I wish you and FIL peace in his final days and a death that will be a joyful event as he passes into the care of our Lord. Bless you for sharing.
In these past few days, the agitation and delusions are coming and going, and sometimes the meds work, and sometimes they don't! My FIL'S symptoms tend to come on late in the day and evening, so I'm not sure what is infection related or what could be some Sundowners symptoms, or what might even be medication reactions, it's so frustrating, but even so, our Hospice Nurse has given us pretty flexible medication dosing, and feels that we know what works best (especially with my background in medicine), and she trusts our judgement. It helps that she knows that we tend to error on the side of caution, and don't or haven't yet given him the maximum allowable dosage possible but, but one more night like last night, and we may be there NOW!
YOWZA, my FIL was up awake about 6 times between 7pm and 3pm, calling out, confused, talking gibberish, trying to get out of his bed and his tee-shirt, and I do believe it is the infection causing the majority of the problems. Interestingly, he slept in until nearly 1pm today, which was frustrating, as hubby and I kept checking in on him all night, and neither of us slept much. I just wish we knew he was going to sleep so late, as then we would have slept in too! We both try to get up fairly early, say 7am, so we can get ourselves ready for the day, so we are both pretty tired today, with these type of symptoms going on the past 7 or so nights now.
Hubby keeps thinking that the end is near, ("meredays"), while I don't necessarily believe that myself, as I've been through this before with my own parents.
And while hubby doesn't wish for his Dad to die per se, the long goodbye does tend to wear you down, knowing that as the days go on, the symptoms could get worse, and you are constantly worried that he is suffering, and it is just making it that much more difficult to everyone concerned. Let's face it, his QOL is pretty nominal at this point.
Then again, when he did wake up, he had coffee and mini Kit Kat Chocolate bars, then ate a fair sized lunch, so we could yet be at this awhile longer!
I'm the type of person who "needs to know", and when I do my research online, I find that I am not that different from many other people who are doing Hospice Care, but I am finding that there isn't any rhyme nor reason, as to how long this takes, or the winding path it takes to get there.
Some people lose there LO really fast and sometimes faster then they even had a chance to prepare themselves or say their goodbyes, and some LO's linger on for a long time, sometimes fooling you into thinking that they are almost gone, only to rally once more. My FIL is a rally once more kind of guy, Lol! PROSTATE CANCER, LYMPHOMA, A HEART ATTACK, and now LUNG CANCER, this guy has nine lives!
That's OK, as long as he isn't suffering is all I care about! Life is very Mysterious!
Oh, I so relate. The night time IS the worst! I feel like I'm back with my newborn. At least with the baby, I could turn on the baby monitor and leave the room and all was well. Not so here!
I boxed up the baby monitor I bought for checking up on mom, as she needs a constant pair of eyes on her (24/7). We put a twin bed in her room for whichever caregiver's turn it is (my husband, the overnight caregiver or me) to sleep on.
We attached Christmas bells to the bottom part of her bed sheet with pinching paper clips. Works great! If she moves at all, we hear it immediately. We all sleep with one eye open but, fortunately, I get a break 4 nights a week from 10 pm to 7 am.
Mom loves to take off her pajama bottoms and diapers. Even with very careful watching, she seems to wiggle out of them. Then, of course, urine everywhere. I am awaiting the Amazon order of adult bibs and "onesies" for incontinent adults. For now, we have to tape her pj bottoms to the pj tops. We tell her we're wrapping her up as a Christmas present. She is not pleased.
I'm also going to check out bed rails that you slip under the mattress and I have adjusted her meds for maximum relaxation at bedtime. She seems to do the sundowner's thing, perfectly asleep on the couch after dinner but , OMG, move her 10 ft. to her bedroom at bedtime and it's "craaaaaazy time"!
The other day I went into our bedroom to tell my husband something. I was in there 3 minutes. She somehow got off the couch and wound up in the bathroom with her pants and diapers around her ankles, peeing all over the floor!!!!!! :(
Regarding my elder years, dying in my sleep, just when I start to decline to the point of needing help, would be the best. I'll settle for a massive heart attack (that takes me out) too. But, God forbid, this!
My dad had a saying, "I want to die at the hand of a jealous husband at 82!" Should we all have it so good, Dad. ;)
However - he had late stages of throat cancer (he smoked from 14-68) his prognosis wasn't good; he went from being "reasonably OK" to no longer being here or in pain. We had lost our mother 9 months before due to an 'issue' during a hip replacement op and he had understandably given up. All the staff in the hospice were amazing, patient, friendly, caring, I will never know the strength they must have to do that job day in and day out.
Had we not gone down this route, what may have happened to him could of been much worse with a lot more pain and suffering. We will never know x
Of course there are bad apples in every basket and this primarily applies to some for profit hospices.
Why kill the hand that feeds you? A hospice ceases to exist if they don't have patients. The more they have and the longer they stay makes the income increase. A three day patient costs more than a six month one because of the heavy investment in having to provide equipment for a new patient and the use of staff which increases at the end of life.
Your mother may be a retired R N from the good old days but I started nursing in the 50s and only retired ten years ago and I can vouch for the fact that it was not better in the good 'ol days. Geriatric patients were housed in big open wards with 24 other patients. All they had was their bed and clothes pulled out of the communal pile each morning which may have sort of fitted. No TV and no phone (just a portable pay phone that could be wheeled from bed to bed)
No sitting in unchanged Depends, they had not been invented. They were sat on a 12" X 12" gauze and brown wool pad made every night by the night nurse. the only thing that may have been better is that in addition to the standard three meals a day they also had morning tea (at 5 am) mid morning coffee and a late night hot drink.
Did your mother work under those conditions?
Do you even believe what I am writing?
This was the state of affairs at a major London, UK teaching hospital in the late 50's The unit I worked in was the location of the Dicken's work house with the graveyard right outside the windows.
I finshed my career 10 years ago working as a hospice nurse at a not for profit US hospice. I don't need to tell you how I would wish to be treated. Thank goodness there is little restriction on the use of medications in modern day hospice.
If there is pain and anxiety it is treated (not forced) and often large doses may be required to help the patient and a side effect is frequently drowsiness but that is common close to the end of life.
What ever your views it is not mandatory to use hospice so bear that in mind. if you don't agree with the philosophy stay away that is your right. I was working in London when Dame Cecily Saunders started the modern hospice movement although it had existed in one form or another for centuries. Think of the work Mother Theresa was doing in our own life time.
As far as modern day nurses treating dying patients my personal experience has been every effort is made toil elderly patients. I was admitted to a US teaching hospital with acute appendicitis and the surgeon decided to try treating with IV antibiotics. By the next morningI was in septic shock and my appendix had burst. From there on in I was not fed for ten days and massive amounts of IV normal saline pushed me into heart failure which they ignored for 2 days. Eventually it was noticed that i was severely malnourished and i was offered an NG tube which i refused. They then started TPN and a few days later put in an GJ tube .
Six weeks later I was discharged still in heart failure with fluid in the base of both lungs and a clot in my right ventricular appendage. One of the residents admitted she did not expect me to make it.
I was lucky in that I had an advocate in my husband a retired MD..
I was readmitted to another hospital two days later and after two more weeks was fit to be discharged again.
Would I have preferred hospice of course not but that is just to illustrate what can happen when regular nurses are taking care of you in a hospital. Not that i am blaming the nurses there is so much protocol that has to be followed these dys that they are prevented from making rational decisions.
May I ask why you are contributing to this thread?
But with any business - there are good and bad ones out there - and this includes Hospice businesses.
My mother now qualifies - and did qualify for Hospice - four years ago - under the diagnosis of Dementia. She has Vascular Dementia, actually. The reason why I haven't put her on Hospice is she's not experiencing pain as she's holding steady and not in a rapid decline yet. Also, I want options for in-home bloodwork and in-home x-rays for monitoring which I can't get on Hospice. I'm not aggressive on the bloodwork because Mom is a difficult poke; she gets full labs every six months to one year, just like I do with my PCP. Mom is a DNR so I have absolutely no intention of - any aggressive care. She has no quality of life. I've been waiting for something to take her - quickly. Her Old World genetics just keeps her body going!
As many of know, Dementia can go on for years, obviously, the gift that keeps giving, so whenever I read of patients on hospice - for several years - this is a major red flag to me - but it's a flag that I can live with. Hospice is a big-time money maker according to my mother's now doctor so of course providers are happy to readmit a patient if a patient qualifies. He stated years ago Medicare would give Hospice just one lump sum, like 20 to 30K, for the patient and no more and Hospice decides how much to use - of course stretching out the dollars as much as possible - because Medicare didn't require (and still doesn't) the leftover money returned to them after the patient dies. Now, Medicare is paying out daily, like $140 to $160/per day and continues to pay as long as there is a qualifying diagnosis. How does Hospice stay in business if everyone really does die within six months? I understand the business side of signing up patients who "qualify" for Hospice and readmitting these patients who continue to "qualify" to keep the Hospice business alive. Just imagine if there was no such thing as a Hospice service, then how would our loved ones get the services they need, particularly pain management, in the end stages of life? No one wants to see their loved one suffer. At this point, nearly all of these patients are physically unable go to their doctor for pain relief and PCPs don't prescribe morphine. I don't want to suffer in my end of life stage - load me up on the morphine - please! Also, many of us want our loved ones dying in their home, so Hospice provides this option for us. I don't want my mother dying in a hospital. I want her last memory to be of me and our pets at her side - in the comfort of our home. She feels safe in our home and this where she will die.
I'm fully aware of the money-driven side of our healthcare system - but this also gives us choices in options for care.
Your words; "They did that (hastened and murdered) to my Step Father also. He was dying of cancer..."
How did anyone kill him if he was dying of cancer. Cancer is frequently metastatic and can be painful. You can't recover while actively dying. Should he have been denied medication?
Have you, in your 19 years of nursing, ever seen a drastic or dramatic change in an otherwise stable but terminal patient from one day to the next?
In my 39 years of nursing, I have witnessed this over and over. It's actually hard to believe, when you leave them at the end of your shift in a stable state and, by your next shift, they are actively dying or have died. Maybe you've never witnessed this. Death has no timetable.
I'm not sure you've got a handle on the math here.
"Well they gave him Ativan IV 1 mg and morphine 4 mg IV q (every) 4 hours which was an increase from the 15 mgs we were giving him at home!"
Help me out. Four mg. of Morphine is MORE than the 15 mg. you were giving him? Maybe you meant to say that it was IV, which lowers the amount of Morphine needed because it goes directly into the vein.
Check this table of narcotic conversion out;
http://openanesthesia.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/IV-to-po-opioids-–-Equivalency-table.png
Basically it says that it is a 1:3 ratio for Morphine. If you're taking 10 mg. of Morphine IV, then you would take 30 mg. orally. If he got 4 mg. IV, then, (at a 1:3 ratio), his dose at home would have been 12mg. not 15 mg. You were giving him more at home than the IV equivalent he received through hospice. Also, please factor in that these patients may have been taking narcotics for a while and are not "opiate naive". They can tolerate larger doses because they have built up a tolerance.
Also, since you and your mom were RN's, you should know that you can refuse any medicine that you don't want given. Neither of the medications that were given were in lethal doses. There is a "protocol" in hospice for agitation (Ativan), which is very common near the end of life, and also for pain (Morphine).
"I have seen many die before their time in hospice."
Excuse me, but NONE of us know WHEN our last breath will be. You have overstepped your bounds as a nurse, to predict the time of death. The best a seasoned nurse can do is give a guesstimate. Only God knows the day and time.
"Nurses can easily take care of terminally ill patients in the hospital daily and indeed we do all the time!"
Yup and WHAT do we do for them in the hospital, Mark? We give them pain medication and, if they are anxious or restless, we give them anti-anxiety medication. I don't see the difference in medication administration. Same stuff but the hospice patient can be in the comfort of their own home. If you'd rather keep your loved one in pain and agitation, go ahead. Just don't gripe about how difficult it is to care for them and how exhausting it is. Think how exhausted the patient must be without the relief of meds.
"Again don't even attempt to argue with me."
I'm not arguing with you. You are entitled to your opinion, as I am to mine. Have you ever worked for a hospice? Having been a hospice nurse for the last part of my career, I can tell you that I have never murdered anyone. I have relieved obvious pain and thereby made the patient more comfortable. (Isn't that why we became nurses?) I've medicated patients who seemed agitated, being very near the end and they were able to relax and rest until they breathed their last breath. I've had families beg me to give MORE meds because they didn't think their loved ones were as comfortable as they could be. I could NOT give more meds. I would call the doctor and explain the patients' status. They would either OK it or refuse it. These were not murderous families looking for a Nurse Ratchet to finally finish off their loved one. They were thinking of their loved ones' comfort during their last hours.
"They are a cult." hahahaha
According to Wikipedia; The term cult usually refers to a social group defined by its religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs, or its common interest in a particular personality, object or goal.
We are health care providers who do not believe in the needless suffering of the dying.
I saved the best (of your comments) for last. "My Mother can inform also and she is a retired RN from the good ole days."
The "ole" days weren't "good" Mark. If you have been a nurse less than 20 years, you missed all the fun. ( Just like Veronica said.) Glass IV bottles that were heavy and cumbersome and, God forbid, if one should hit the floor! One of the hospitals I worked in had carpet (yes, carpet!) in the patient rooms. What fun cleaning up diarrhea or vomit when the patient didn't "make it" to the bathroom. The needle and syringe choppers put us at risk, not like the sheaths on the syringes that now protect the nurses. I remember when gloves were only worn for "dirty" jobs and there was no such thing as Universal Precautions. Did you ever have bedpan cleaning duty in the "hopper"? I could go on but won't. Don't glamorize the days in which you've never worked.
I wish everyone would pass away in their sleep but that doesn't happen. It's also not moral or ethical for anyone to be in pain or severe anxiety as they pass from this world. Maybe you'll change your mind when you are passing.
Veronica; I'm with you. ;)
What has me so curious is where were these posters while their love one was being cared for, why weren't they on the forum asking for suggestions? Where were these posters when it came time to decide whether to use Hospice or not? The poster only shows up after their love one had transitioned. And their first time on the website they find a thread that has been off-line for weeks without recent comments.
Part of me feels that a person is pointing to Hospice because Hospice was called in very late in the progress. That the love one was already in the dying process, thus Hospice is only there for a week or less. Yes, it will feel like Hospice speeded up the progress, but it didn't. The dying timetable was already set before Hospice even become a subject to discuss.
Mark, please note that the amount of morphine used by Hospice is no different then the amount of morphine used by hospitals after a patient had major surgery. I remember having a morphine pump to help control my post-surgery pain. If morphine kills at those low dosages [same used with Hospice] then hospitals would have very high number of post-surgery patient deaths.... well, they don't.
I had the opportunity to speak to one of the few expert doctors on the rare disease called CJD, and he confessed he did not see the reason why morphine was used in this case. While hospice may be good for people in pain and agony at the end of life, unfortunately there are times where it is handled inappropriately as in our case and it is immoral and unethical to say the least.
FreqFlyer, I wished I had visited this forum before I brought my mother home for hospice care. When I met with the agency, I made it very clear that there would be no hastening of death. The agency assured me of such, and the hospital discharge papers note "palliative care." (The hospital sent mom home with prescriptions for her heart meds. and her cardiologist told us to give her milkshakes.) The agency said that hospice patients may live longer because they get "attentive" care. I bought into it. Also, the agency promised physical therapy and all sorts of "perks" but delivered nothing except a cold, heartless nurse who, on the first day of visiting mom walked up to her with a syringe and tried to give her a narcotic. My mother, a retired cardiac nurse, lifted her hand and said "No." The agency DID NOT tell me that it would send all sorts of narcotics in what it called a "comfort pack." After we made it very clear that mom did not want narcotics, the "nurse" tried it again on her third visit and this time she was successful. While the aid and I were changing the bed linens, mom said, "Please do let me fall off the bed." With that, the nurse rushed up to mom holding a syringe, saying, "See, she is confused, she is confused." Before I knew it she gave her what I later learned was Haldol, an antipsychotic medication. The nurse FORCED it on mom. There was no medical need to give it to her.
Further, the hospital discharged mom with her heart meds, yet the hospice nurse showed no interest in giving them to her (so I did). She showed no interest in mom's nutrition.
Another nurse - by telephone - convinced me that by giving mom morphine I was helping mom to breath and I gave her two doses over a twelve-day period, the second on the day she died. (Some folks on this forum have assured me it wasn't lethal, but I am not convinced.) I had no idea, and I believed the nurse on the phone.
Each time the nurse visited mom, she announced - in front of her - that she would die by the morning. I finally had enough and planned to replace her, but it was too late. I am thankful that mom did not go into an in-patient hospice and die of starvation yet I am full of remorse for falling for the hospice sales pitch. Had I known this, I would have NEVER chosen hospice.
I'm sorry for your loss. It is such a difficult time.
Does everyone know that YOU (the family or at least the POA) has the power to REFUSE any or all meds or services that hospice recommends. Nothing is written in stone. Anything can be changed.
Yet, I read on this thread that the meds were administered per protocol without any family refusal. Why is this? Is it hindsight? (Gee, we 'should have' stopped the Morphine or 'not given' the Ativan.)
Or is it that you were not present when the regulations were being explained to whomever was there to sign the papers? Or maybe you didn't read the booklet explaining the protocols of hospice. Were you aware you could take him/her off hospice at any time, even get him/her admitted to the hospital for treatment (which automatically stops hospice services).
When you saw that this was not what you wanted for your loved one, did you call their private MD for a consultation? Or, did you sit down with the hospice team to re-evaluate their medicine regime? All these things are tools you could have used to change the situation.
I'm not blaming you. It's a very heartbreaking time and no one thinks straight. But there are avenues open to the family. Most of the time, they don't take advantage of any of them, but then post here that their loved was KILLED!
With all due respect, what was your input? After speaking with the rare disease expert doctor, did you try to enlist his help and change what you didn't feel comfortable with?
I just don't see any family input but I see a lot of family criticism. Get involved with every aspect of their care.
I'd like to respond to the following:
"Does everyone know that YOU (the family or at least the POA) has the power to REFUSE any or all meds or services that hospice recommends?"
When I was going through the "hospice experience" I was surviving (or so I thought) on little sleep. It was the most emotionally taxing time in my life. I suspect this is the way it is for lots of folks whose loved one is in hospice. Sure, we can refuse and make changes but it can be difficult when one is completely vulnerable. Most of us like to think that trusting the medical profession is the right thing.
"Yet, I read on this thread that the meds were administered per protocol without any family refusal. Why is this? Is it hindsight? (Gee, we 'should have' stopped the Morphine or 'not given' the Ativan.)"
I told the nurse not to give mom narcotics but she ignored my request and forced Haldol on her (see earlier thread.) Also, please don't be hard on those of us who are not medical professionals. I did not know what Morphine does and I had never heard of Ativan or Haldol before our hospice experience.
"Or is it that you were not present when the regulations were being explained to whomever was there to sign the papers? Or maybe you didn't read the booklet explaining the protocols of hospice. Were you aware you could take him/her off hospice at any time, even get him/her admitted to the hospital for treatment (which automatically stops hospice services)."
I asked about stopping hospice as I was displeased with the nurse and the empty promises. I asked for palliative care. So the first thing a hospice representative told me is that they would take mom's hospital bed away. They are so clever! I've since read some hospice brochures, especially the part where they do indeed say that one can stop hospice. But then they so cleverly point out all the "services" one will lose . . . .
Hospice is BIG business and it preys on the vulnerable. It's only going to get bigger as the baby boomers age.
"When a patient revokes hospice services, it also means revoking the benefits they may be receiving from the Medicare hospice benefit: home medical equipment and supplies, holistic or therapeutic services, home visits, etc."
I would like to see regulations introduced - they may already be in place for all I know in some jurisdictions, I hope so - that require any professional administering drugs to a patient on hospice to explain what they are doing to any non-qualified caregivers responsible for their patient, and to document as well as the drugs and amounts given the clinical justification for giving them.
But tell me. How would you explain to families that if they revoke hospice, they do obviously also revoke the equipment and services it provides? And they do have to explain that, to avoid families later getting angry and upset when someone comes to collect the alternating pressure air bed or whatever.