My 89 yr old father in law lives with us. I quit my job four years ago to watch over him. He has no real health issues Slight on set of dementia. Dr says he will out last all of us. He likes to act helpless when my husband comes home. Has no problems walking getting out of chair eating etc but when husband get home he is helpless. He is hardly ever sick but when his two daughters call he tries to get sympathy by saying he is sick in bed no one has fed him, cant walk. they believe him. my husband calls him on his behavior but the girls will not believe us on his actions. When my FIL is staying with someone else when we are out he is a perfect gentlemen. Not sure how to deal with his being trouble for us at home. We even put him in a nursing home for a week to let him see how good he has it wilth us. He has his own room with onsight bath, meals, outings, all his bills paid for, family and friends around to visit with. Not sure what more we can do to get him to have some respect for us and the home. He refuses to do anything we ask of him. Remove dirty shoes, flush his toliet, eat properly, normal home living situtations.
If he is well enough to play "pranks" on you he is healthy enough to be on his own. The last thing anyone needs is friction in their own home...hope you find a solution soon.
I have always said that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Have the hub sit down with him and have a frank, unemotional discussion about the rules of your home (your requests are not unreasonable). If he still ignores you, it may be time to take him to a facility or two and let him choose one.
Really......we wouldn't let a child get away with bad behavior...why should that change when an adult enters our home.
good luck
Lilli