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Juju~you story of the little dog reminded me of a time as a child (on my birthday). My sister had a couple different pet gold mantel squirrels...when it was legal to have them in the 1960's. She would let them run through our bedroom. As I got off my bed, I stepped on it and killed it. I think it was the last one she had too because it became illegal own them as pets because of the plague. I was horrified at what I had done because I knew how much her little squirrel meant to her. I am sorry you experienced a similar accident.

Meanwhile~Sorry you have to wear the cast another month. It does get old especially in the warm whether. My daughter broke a bone in her foot in her senior year in HS, she had to wear a walking cast for 4 months, including during the grad ceremony. It sure took a long time for one little bone to heal.

Sis and I sorted through mom's things today. We boxed up all her clothes, some clothes we will put in the estate sale. I am calling it an estate sale because so far it looks like no one in the family wants any of her furniture. We also went through her china cabinet, it is mostly filled with tea cups and saucers that she got from a dearly loved family couple (they were the closest people in my life similar to grandparents). They came to the U.S. from Canada so all these tea cups/saucers are from England, I am sure "H" bought these at different shops in Canada when she visited. Some of these will go to my sister's daughters. I just don't have space for it at my house. Tomorrow we will meet up again to go through more stuff in the house. We still have the storage room, the attic and a tool shed to go through. We had Midget with us pretty much all day, got mom another shower and will see her again tomorrow. My brother emailed me...his step son has still not been cremated because of repairs, his mil will be moving in with them (she has lung cancer and is not responding to chemo) plus his lung disease (interstitial lung disease) is causing him lots of problems...they did a ct scan because drs. are concerned it may be getting worse (he was told in the beginning that it was not fatal and was manageable with steroids), it could be because we are having an unusual year with allergies too. He will get results this month. He has been dealing with lots of stress with his step son passing away too and all this can make his breathing difficult but he is close to being put on oxygen. Hang in there everyone, I hope the weekend is relaxing as it can be for everyone!!
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Sorry Bobbie...I totally see what you are talking about now. Hahahaha...that's so funny. I thought wow...what did I do? Now that I reread that...I understand. But I can be one at times...I just keep that side of me hidden from all of you. Don't want you to get the wrong impression. Just kidding. Thanks for clearing that up with me. God Bless. Debbie.
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Juju, sorry about your little dog. Nothing you could have done though, it was just an accident. I spent all day looking for the house cat. He likes to go outside and hang out in the front yard in the mornings. He is usually back in an hour, ready to sleep in the house all day. This morning he disappeared, finally showed up about 8 pm. Cats! I was looking in trees, under the bushes, he is getting kind of old, don't really know how old. Step Dad will be 81 on Monday, going to make him a sugar free chocolate pie, and fix some shrimp for dinner tomorrow. Bless his heart, he was up on my roof this morning helping Indio fix the evaporative cooler. It needed a new motor, and Indio could have put it on by himself, but before I could stop him Dad was up the ladder. Had to see what was going on. Normally, I would have been on the roof too, but still have my velcro cast. Last check up looked good on the X-ray, but have to wear the cast another month (sigh!). Already worn it 2 months now. This is the longest I've gone without riding a horse in years. Hope; everyone is having a good weekend. Love Shirley
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OK lastly if you are up to it and can
I would recommend googling the Doc series and song by one of the stars "My last days" and the song "clouds" I only got thru Zack Shane n Juli...
it was so INSPIRING, yet tearjerker" really knocks one off their "pity pot" so to speak! Gosh what am I complaining about!!!
One thing a common thread that made me sad was the strong healthy family bonds...we never had that.... it is key to grounding oneself I am sure contributes to living in the positive!
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Sorry that was long and depressing...I cant find a darn delete button!!!!!

I try to remember she went instantly and standing by her mama's side!!! So glad she did not suffer, not even a yipe!!!

I do feel like I posting too much but so much has been going on and bottled up for years, many many years in some cases, I just need to get it out (to folks who understand)!!!I I feel like a damn lunatic, I'm sure I will mellow out, sooner hopefully!!! And as I sed b4 kinda small circle kinda girl..i find something I like and stick with it...omg I have ordered same thing a TacoBELL my whole adult life and when I waiver I am always disappointed lol!!

started this morning collecting snippets I have left everywhere here to put together the story of our family' struggle, I think it will be really therapeutic to put it all together in a story form and beginning journaling too!!!

Anyway everyday I feel better it is amazing, we have a long way to go but happy on the rite path now..just hope it is not too late for me...I know mom will be fine cause she comes first!!!

Have a wonderful weekend you all, supposed to be sunny n nice here!!
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Cant sleep tonite omg I got started on some you tube videos called "my last days" documentaries on terminally ill amazing people, good grief the waterworks are a flowing!!
I have to share the story of the poodles just cuz yesterday brought up some more emotional craaapppp!! I think how we lost Zoe really hurt me a lot! Maybe I can heal that one up a bit!
Zeke we lost early on, he was always a sickly little boy, he had auto=immune disorders…I had him in the vet on a monthly basis it seems…anyway…he had been doing good for a while and one day I was playing with him and his belly seemed swollen, next day more so..i made an vet appt that week he was seen and she was alarmed made emergency appt for more skilled vet next am….nevertheless his internal organs were wrought with growths 80%, really wasn’t much hope for him, but he wasn’t uncomfortable. That Friday we took him home till it was time. by Sunday he was grunting and moaning in discomfort…so I had a farwell bbq nite and had determined he would go to heaven as soon as the vet opened Monday! Love you lil zeke…my only regret is I let u eat too many hotdog bites Sunday nite and you were more uncomfortable (the neighbor told me anyway)!
Zoe we had while longer and she was the rough one!
April 11 2011, was getting ma up one morning and as Zoe’s duty was to be no farther than a foot from ma…she was right there with us in the bathroom. Mom was holding on to sink as usual as I cleaned her bottom…forgot trashcan so went 6 ft to grab it and she fainted in that time. Down she went I grabbed for her but it was too late… I assessed the situation and saw lil zoe square under her fanny, I picked her up but her eyes were fixed and gone…as I did the blood just gushed from her mouth….i freaked and just ran in circles thru the house with her in my hands trying to find a phone or what idk, check on ma, without her knowing what just happened. Called the caregiver “help I need you…Mom FALL BLOOD ZOE DEAD was all I could get out. I finally figured out I need to get to ma.. I set the dog in a towel on porch n got mom assessed and help arrived, they were beside themselves n nauseated by the amount of blood too….they got her buried for me, and helped get ma situated, but couldn’t even help to much with the clean up!! It was one of the big traumatic moments in my life, it disturbs me to this day, there was so much freakin blood everywhere, from such a lil thing, I can see now how someone cant cover up a murder, lol I found spatter weeks later so many places. N I was seriously disturbed for a week all I could see is this scene, like it was flashing on a big screen tv on repeat, in my mind! Oh lord, it was a rough time!!! There is a stain that developed on the hardwood, due to that I believe, that has kinda been a reminder but not too bad!
I was just thankful mom wasn’t hurt seriously, she did compress some discs, but recovered well….and she did not even know what happened to Zoe except when she asked why I was balling (uncontrollably) I just sed we lost our dear sweet Zoe recently, n she would try to comfort me!!! God bless this disease for these things…she never really mourned dad either…she knew but didn’t get the full picture! Poor caregiver, when I called her, thought mom was dead, we had a laff bout that later!
I Remember we couldn’t go anywhere with them cause it would take sooo long we have to stop every few steps for everyone who wanted to love on those cute li’l dogs! Dad used to get frustrated but I think he kinda liked the attention!!!

Thanks you guys for putting up with me n my keyboard!!
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No was talking about capnhardass!
omg sorry you thought that!
lovbob
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Bob...Me hardass? really? That's one I dont think I have ever been referred to. I hope I don't give anyone the wrong impression. I could never live up to that.
Mame...thanks for asking..I am doing great. I still have my moments now and again but..for the most part. I'm slowly finding my new routine. For 10 years now ( since my dad passed away) my life revolved around my mom. Calling her several times a day..and visiting 2 to 3 times a week. Shopping on Sunday...and then the latter, having her under my care for 6 months straight. At first when she passed away....I felt like a butterfly out of its cocoon....but now at times it hits me. And I miss her so much. This last week it has rained non stop and it seems the weather brings me down.
Juju...I have a heart for the feline kind..we have 6 cats. All but one of them are rescues/strays. I have a turtle, and Maltipoo, and a cockatiel that we found cornered by the neighbor dog. The smallest cat of the strays was my Zoey...she is from a ferral cat that had babies at our house. She chases after all the cats and is the queen kitty here. She even swats at my dog as she walks by and poor Lilly yelps all the time. I wonder if it has something to do with the name? Zoey being the Alpha?
Good night gang...have a great weekend.
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It was hilarious watching the 80lb lab bow down to these two, But Zoe was def ALPHA female, and was here first!!!!
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Juju~It's called passive aggressive. My hubby used to be that way to. When I refused to hand over my paycheck to him giving him all control, he changed, thank God. It took some years for him to change, but he did and now he is much more understanding and accepting of me as a human being, a person and a woman. I don't know if you ever watched Roseanne Barr's tv sitcom...she told her sister Jackie, on the show, Dan didn't come out of box like he is, it took years to get him like this, LOL!! It doesn't always work with every man but I am so happy it did my mine. He respects me now.Awww, teacup poodles are very tiny and sooo cute. My mom's poodle is considered a small miniature by the vet. She is 13lb and needs to lose 3 lbs. Poodles are very intelligent so I don't think I will have problem training her with consistency.

Bobbie~Yes, cats are so funny when they arch their backs and all their hackles raised. He didn't hiss at her. I have been keeping her amused by throwing a rubber bone with a middle for treats. Hopefully I will wear her out by the time I take her back!
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Awweee Ma had 3 n 3.5lb white teacup poodle couple Zeke n Zoe, when I took her on....My kitty was terrified of them, they ruled the roost! They sure were cute!! We have since lost them both but fond memories!!!
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sorry if I am on the soapbox of spend every minute with your parent that you can....
Men, uggghhh Yes they can be @#$%'s My Ex husband got up at 3am many, many a day to go hunting n fishing with his friends n fam but when it came to our vacations he couldn't seem to get off the couch....esp once.I had planned a nice week roadtrip just kinda go with the flow down the coast and he just would not get outta bed and go...after month of planning, I cudda killed him..why didn't he say anything sooner and not waste my time!

Good luck with the intergration, lol!!!
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Love it when the Cat makes a hump....
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Mame~Thank you for understanding. I do love my fil, but we have our differences because he feels women should not only work, but take care of everything else so all a man has to do is work and come home to no worries, no responsibilities including no interaction with their children.
I have Midget with me today introducing her to my kitty. It was funny because Tiger fluffed up the fur on his back and tail keeping a distance. Midget just wags her tail wanting to make friends.They stared at each other from a distance while told Midget NO...she did good staying back but she did start to bark that little poodle bark, LOL!! She is just sooo furious.
The community is introducing her to their resident dog named Leo. He is very old but a big dog, looks like a lab/irish setter mix. They said she is doing well with Leo. She just wants to love everyone and other animals. Hopefully Tiger can accept her just in case we have to take Midget away from mom. I won't allow them to get too close right now...don't want doggie fur to fly, LOL!!
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CNY is Central New York... I shouldn't think anyone out of this state would know what that is! haha
Yea, Juju-he does need to spend time with dad...you are right....so good of you to understand. But I do know how it can feel.
House all closed up, air conditioners running...75 in the house...89 and rising outside! I guess most are happy it is not snowing! haha
Mom is exhausted and sleeping. Day care really tires her out! She won't sleep there-she doesn't want to miss anything! ttyl
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Mame~Yes, I am disappointed but he needs to spend time with his dad. I am surprised his dad is willing to sleep in a tent, hope he brings an air mattress, the ground is hard and the older you are the harder it is to sleep on the ground.
Juju~I love the mountains, going camping. Last time hubby and I went i was pulling fish out of the river left and right...It was so much fun (usually I don't catch any fish, just rocks and tree branches, LOL). I can't really complain because does do things with me too. Even though we had a drought winter here in Ca., I have seen where people are catching some nice trout up at Kennedy Meadows. I hope they do too!
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Lastly.....This Tahiti thing has got me going now, I am salivating practically.....I want to go scuba diving in the tropics so bad this morning! I will make that my carrot!! if I fix this mess and get some order in our lives, when mom Is taken care of or gone...I am going diving somewhere's, it has been way tooooo long!!!!
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Thanks Mame, look forward to it! I have to ask what is CNY?

I see a lot of abbreviations some I don't know...DH is one...Dear Husband is what I came up with cuz of conversation or maybe departed husb. Anyway....
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Austin, funny I was thinking bout you n your man yesterday....I started to look for your name to send ya a message and got distracted! Glad to here from you and things are going well!!!
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The middle half. I had written this long thing to Juju about meds and Doctors. Oh hell. And told Bobbie I was psyched she and Diane got together! And told Jen my son and girlfriend flew to Washington last night. GF lives in Bellingham. And that is where the-I think she was glad to leave the weather here on CNY comment came in. Juju-I will have to write again about the DR thing...it was long and involved. UGH. Sorry. Mame
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continued.......sorry I hit submit before done.

So how is you today, everyone?

Sharyn...I love camping, I can see how you would wanna go on your time off but the boys do need their time together ergghhh. Mom n I still camp... well last year we did, and had made a reservation on departure to do it again coming next month now...oh my!! I wonder tho, if it is coming to be too hard for me...I too broken physically to do it...even the beachhouse trip wiped me out! packing and unpacking and not having all of our handicap amenities. and last year I was so wiped out when we got back! idk....alone is tough!!!

Glad diane is out n about and got "boat time".

I love when I see these seniors that are getting in their 80plus and are still so active!! still driving, doing things to keep em busy, etc..... Like my Wanda! They are so darn cute!!!

Love n strength,
juju
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OMG-half of my post is just missing!
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Hello everyone! Beautiful 74 degrees right now! Going to go up to 90 with high humidity so the house is open for the moment and then the AC will go on to keep us all cool. Can't believe the extremes we have here in CNY-in the same week! I think she was glad to leave the heat, humidity and severe thunder storms we have been having!
Sharynmarie-I know exactly how you feel! When my hubby says he is taking time off-I get so excited that it will be time together and then I hear about all these plans he has! I always feel hurt that he doesn't want to spend every minute with me! OR he will take time off for some simple thing he has to do but won't to just spend a day with me! UGH! This is such a lonely life and he is my lifeline...so it really can be hurtful. Terrible thing is-I am such a brat-if he changes his plans to be with me(cause I tell him I wanted time with him)-I am still upset cause he made other plans first and this is an afterthought! Over the years, I have tried to be better about it... But mostly, I just don't let myself have any expectations-and then if he is around-great and if he isn't-I just roll my eyes and say-it figures... Sad, I know. But true. I am sorry you are sad and feeling left out. I hope the days he is home with you are nice.
Msdaizy-your mom sure had a long life-91 wow! How and what are you up to now? I hope you are doing ok.
Austin-so happy for you! What a nice surprise.
Well, I believe I have written enough. Haha. Be good to yourselves all! Mame
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Morning all,

Ooh ooh, stop in Coos Bay, n pick me up on the way to Tahiti!!!!

well got out yesterday for a bit to go uptown and do some shopping! I am the proud owner of 6lbs of gummy bears, gotta love Costco!!

I have a lil sweet lady, older than my mom ironically, who comes and sits with mom on Thursday aft. 1-4, (sr companion program). she just sits with ma, they don't do any care type things but give her a snack while i'm gone. I'll take it!
Anyway...that is my day to get things done in town, had to get a blood pressure cuff so I could do some studies the neurologist wanted. I took the dogs with me and stopped at the dog park, briefly cuz it was already almost 4, on the way home that was nice to get out and watch them play, talk a little with the ladies there...it is 25 miles away, darn it...
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Cap't Bobbie good to hear from you and JUJU welcome aboard. My life is finally going well and I am very happy with my gentlemen friend-I never expected to be happy and find someone good and thank God everyday for this life.
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Hi David,
What's going on?

I see that you have left your email address on a few threads. Tell us what you are trying to do.

lovbob
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Gotcha.
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It's just a dad and son thang since hubby is taking that week off his dad proposed this trip. It's important he spend time with his dad, he is 80 years old now. His dad is very conservative so if I went, I would be regulated to being the chef cook and bottle washer, its better that they go without me. I had hoped to have a few day trips with hubby that week but it still leaves a few days for us!!
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Sharynmarie! Why can't you go?
Go anyway, set up camp upwind, catch more fish, cook them so they smell amazing, and drive your husband and father in law nuts.

Seriously, why can't you go or they just want to do that dad and son thang. That's good too.
If you find out that other people went... then oh well watch out...

lovbob
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Jen,
Now that would be a documentary...... and I love Tahiti.

DEEF!! Shout out to you. You know we love you and I hope you are enjoying that amazing garden.

Cat: She could be deep in lurk mode or even deeper in ignore mode!!
Ignore mode works. Just taking a break from the everyday.
It is all good and all part of the recovery.

Sure was good seeing Diane and she is a hoot. Very cute and funny and smart.

Juju! how you doing? You also don't have to be positive all the time. That in and of itself can be exhausting to hold up. You don't want to fall in the hole but sometimes it's right to say: man oh man I don't have the energy to try and make someone else think that I am ok.

hardass! msdaizy!

hardass is a very funny name. I can't even look at it without having a hoot.

Cuz! wassup Where's Stormy? Sharynmarie, Shanda! are you out there? Mame!
Kuli and thinking about a lot of this crew, Book! Diane/Flex! Miss Rip and Linda and Miz and Kelleybean and Pam and Secret Sister and the gang from long ago and Roscoe! from the "I don't wish this on anybody" thread. Hope you are getting a game plan together.... Like I said over there, that's a great thread that has touched a common nerve. Write it out Roscoe!

The diver was here today to get the bottom of the boat ready to move. Easier to drive without barnacles and moss. Otherwise she can't get out of her own way.

Will check in later.

lovbob
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